Well at this time me and my gf were starting to get a little closer.
I still continued to talk with her jw friend sister j on many varing biblical issues, we could never seem to come to an agreement on anything doctrinal.
This was because i was only concerned with proving her (sister j ) wrong and you know where jw doctrinal issues lead you.
But if i did somehow manage to prove her wrong then their religion would be surely false. This dident happen. I couldent prove a thing.
I had this crazy logic that if they had the truth i could never prove her wrong so i took the offensive.
We could not even agree to disagree.
One day i printed out a mind controll document from a former Mennonite and gave it to sister j and she read three three lines of it and came back to me and put it on the table.
I asked her why she did that and she told me that she dident need to read that because her mind was not being controlled by anyone, she knew exactly what she was doing and i should have it back.
I then decided to spend the next 3 hours reading through it with her to make sure she got what i ment and let me tell you this. I skipped a class and missed lunch as the discussion was so intence.
She did not buy a single word of it nothing.
No matter how i tried to explain that the possibilty that she might be in the process of being decieved, none of it mattered, no matter how logical sister j just dismissed it.
The main point that i was trying to make was that they lacked the possibility to come to logical conclusions on maters pertaining to religion because she did not have proper reasoning skills.
Now that i tink about it who was i exactaly to bring such an argument to her that was so arogant of me. But i thought i was doing the right thing because if i was right that she had to hear this.
Well she heard it but she never listened.
I am still amazed at how you can spend so much time with someone tying to prove a FACTUAL point and end up worse off than you started.
Around this time i remember my gf telling me that to please never meet her family.
That i just shouldent. She wouldent elabourate as to why. At this time i was unaware of how jw parents veiw such witness non-witness relationships and that i would never get approval.
Later i invited my gf to meet my parents and she agreed. Well i rember that day, i had lots of fun.
My parents greeted her and that was it. No questions nothing. They just got her name and left us to ourselves.
I should note that my parents trust me to make responsible decisions o they probally decided to interrorgate her later. They probally had other reasons to i dont know. She stayed over for the whole day.
Two 18 year old alone. I know what your thinking but i am still a virgin. That would expain my stupidity behind this girl. But its more than physical if not i wouldent be going through this much trouble.
I remember that i gave her a diskette with some information about the 1975 failed prophecy and some of the Douglas Walsh trial transcript before she left- up untill this point she told me that she had heard of it
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but that the 1975 thing wasent A BIG DEAL.
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This was the first time that i realized that she might not know as much that was going in the organisation as she should have.
I rember she even told me that the elders dident get any books that they couldent show to anyone! I was puzzeled. Were the apostates lying?
She took the mateial i gave her home. I doubt she really everrevised it.
Pobally just skimmed it over or dident even bother to read it at all.
At this time i beagn to check myself.
Was the 1975 thing not really a big thing? And were thoes nasty apostates as they call them just making a mountain out of a mole hill?
What if the jws were right about apostates?
What is all those quotations were wrong, and were fake? Just propaganda ment to mislead people and defame Gods organisation?
For this to be true then it seemed that the whole world would have been trying to mislead people with respect to the jws.
I even considerd it an actuall possibility for while because i oildent prove the trinity and i couldent find much evidence against jw claims that would stick. They always had an excuse for every discreprency in their theology. This troubled me for a while. It would mean that half of what i knew about the world was wrong. How could this be? How could this happen?
But how could ALL other churches be wrong and have no backing from God?
But this seemed very unlikely when i really thought about it. But the thought was still there?
Sounds silly huh.
But anyway i persisted in recieving information from these alleged deamons known as apostaes.
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I just wanted to show this girl that she was in a cult so that we could move on from there, and that there would be a possibility of a future with her. WIthout the possibility of a future, the relationship would be pointless and i just couldent accept that.
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The above statement just about sums up the situation up till now.
I really want his matter setteled so i can move on.
At first i went about this the wrong way and now i see that i should have never tried to rush her into changing anything or
could i even convince her of anything unless she wanted to be.
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I had absolutely no idea of what i was up against.
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I thought at first that it was just like anyother christian denomination. When i learned more i found out that some mind controll tactakes are involved.
But i had no idea this mind controll was anywhere near as strong as this.
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Who was i to think that i could convert a jw born int the organisatin with just a few simple facts of their history [which i even did not understand fully] and limated knowledge of th bible.
I had no idea that i would have to deal with the back lash of her leaving the org even if i some how managed to susceed.
i had no idea of how hard it is fo witnesses to leave th organisation because the usually loose all their family.
How could i be equipped to deal with that. Talk about being ignorant and stupid. Well very stupid.
What have i gotten myself into?
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This wasnt easy to deal with then nor do i ever think that it wil be easy in the future...
But i still have hope.
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While still thinking that i knew it all and coild quickly resolve the problem i persisted.
I remembered my jw friend from when i was younger and i decided to pay his dad a visit.
He was a very nice man to me anytime i passed he would always acknowledge me.
I went by his house one evening and i told him i wanted to talk to him about something.
He was surprised that i was comming directly to him as i had never done that before.
My real goal was to sharpen my skills at reasoning with jws. So that i could win any discussions with sister j and my gf.
I was very surprised to findout that he was an elder!
He tried to be modest about it. No big thing.
When i told him that i was talking to a witness at school he told me that he could spare some time.
I told him about how i typed the phrase 'jehovah witness' in a search engine and that 80% of the results were from anticult ministries.
He then got this funny look on this face that showed that he wasent all the friendly anymore and he then started to explain why i would find so much apostate liturature on the net.
He told me not to pay any attention to the evil apostate liturature but that if i had any questions that, he said and i quote:
"Don't worry, I can deal with you." [>:)]exact words.
How he said it it was like he knew i wanted to prove something that i wasent one of his unsuspecting vitcim/new recruit.
So i showed him an our kingdom ministery clipping which encouraged people to sell their homes and that persuing higher education would be dangerous.
He responded by saying that i could find a statement like that up to today and that it was not unique to pre 1975. He told me that it was refering to special pioneers who put in lots of feild service.
He told me that he was busy and that i could come back later.
I decided to go back he told me in the next two days.
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Next post meeting with the elder.
the bible is a two edged sword
wield it the wrong way and it you WILL cut yourself!
