SoJ, due to your cold, compassionless posts on other threads, mainly another one re: suicide, my first reaction was to make a remark in kind to your post about your mom. However, I won't, that's not who I am.
I too lost a father, @ 13, & had a similar experience to yours, was called on the carpet for not hanging out w/ her more. But, those in the cong. that wanted $$$ from her due to my dads death, Never invited her over for anything other than $$. The "fine, upstanding ones" never really did anything for her other than ask for $$, constantly. Her elders took her to the tune of about $100,000, then reneged on the arrangements to pay her back. After my dad's death, or after her 2nd housefire, the only witnesses who REALLY helped were inactive ones, poor ones, or social misfits in the cong. When we had to move out of a house in one day, NO dubs helped, it was the special talk day. YOu know who DID help us move? The mormons.
I wonder, SoJ, do YOU have any experiences like this? From what I've seen, not just w/ my family, their track record w/ the elderly, widows, orphans, mentally unstable, or anyone who is having difficulty, is abominable. And against the principles of helping others, not just your brothers & sisters, but even your enemies. With real help, not just "sporitual food. SoJ, I am truly sorry for your loss, tell me what happened.