The elder in question is a bully. A worthless piece of s#%t.
We had an "elder" like that in one congregation we were in. My wife said something in passing about no one at the service arrangement one time.
This guy took it as a personal threat/insult to his wife and himself.
He hauled us into the back room and reamed the shit out of both of us.
This guy is a circuit overseer now.
To answer your question lits. You are not crazy. This cult is crazy and sick. It rewards abusive individuals by enabling and promoting them.