Lostwun

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Posts by Lostwun

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  50

  My family has known I'm an apostate

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found out that my husband has not only gone to the elders, but has been going to members of my family about me over a period of a few years.

  this piece of news is just so depressing.

  i've been wondering how my family knew i didn't go and thats why so many of them have becoming more and more distant.

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  Lostwun

  Cognac im sorry I took over your thread too. It was not my intention.

  Alive thank you for sharing your experience also and helping me to see the other perspective in this type of scenario. Im glad you and your husband were able to work through the trials and even better that you both are out together and that he forgave you for the past indiscretion.

  If my husband was no part of this cult he would undeniably put me first as he does truly love me but sadly he equates being loyal to jehovah as being loyal to the org.

  He is aware of my stance and terms on being back together again and that includes him making no reference of me or my private affairs to others anymore and so far he has been keeping to that and keeping the elders off my case. I do agree with you that trust can be rebuilt over time but he has a long way to go with me in proving that to be the case. Yet he's commited to doing so, so only time will tell at this point.

  I realize too we are both fairly new to this marriage gig. This year we make 2 years so we both still have lots to learn in how to make a success of this marriage through the obstacles.

  Hopefully we can get over this hump and make it to 30 years like you alive.

  I truly empathize though with others such as cognac who weren't able to salvage things with their mate because of the interference of this cult in our personal relationships and matters of conscience.

  It is a crime and truly pisses me off at the damage that it does to people and their families.
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  50

  My family has known I'm an apostate

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found out that my husband has not only gone to the elders, but has been going to members of my family about me over a period of a few years.

  this piece of news is just so depressing.

  i've been wondering how my family knew i didn't go and thats why so many of them have becoming more and more distant.

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  Lostwun

  Thanks cognac. The same applies for you if you ever need to vent. Im always here to listen. :)
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  50

  My family has known I'm an apostate

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found out that my husband has not only gone to the elders, but has been going to members of my family about me over a period of a few years.

  this piece of news is just so depressing.

  i've been wondering how my family knew i didn't go and thats why so many of them have becoming more and more distant.

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  Lostwun

  VillageId during the time I separated from him I thought about divorce. I contemplated it alot actually and was fully determined to go through with it but I had time to reflect back on my friendship with my husband in the beginning. We were friends before lovers and I tried to keep that in mind before making that ultimate step. In no way am I condoning what he did or how he hurt me and ive explicitly laid everything out on the line to him just how much his actions strained our marriage and the loss of trust because of it. I could have easily put my hands up and washed myself of him completely but I dont want to look back later and have any regrets if things could have been salvaged and I never at least even gave it a chance.

  I have my ducks in a row in case things go sour again but at least my conscience will be clear knowing that despite the hurt I tried to make things work if it doesn't.
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  50

  My family has known I'm an apostate

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found out that my husband has not only gone to the elders, but has been going to members of my family about me over a period of a few years.

  this piece of news is just so depressing.

  i've been wondering how my family knew i didn't go and thats why so many of them have becoming more and more distant.

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  Lostwun

  cognac reading your experience although i realize this post is a year old has really helped me to know that i am not alone in my feelings right now or current situation. Our backgrounds parallel in many ways and this is an exact situation i was battling with 2 weeks ago which led to me temporarily separating from my husband due to his going behind my back and doing exactly what your husband did to you. Trust is a HUGE factor to me and he broke that and betrayed me all to make himself look like the good guy. We have since reconciled as he asked for a second chance to prove himself to me but the damage has already been done and my name tarnished in his small hometown why? Simply because i cannot conscientiously agree with his religion and he chose to tell everyone that i do not believe anymore thus painting me as an apostate.

  I'm currently giving him a second chance because i dont want to give up completely without saying that i at least gave it a chance to work but in my heart i know i will never be able to fully trust him again. I'm sorry things did not work out between you and your husband and I hope you are getting along fine and moving forward with your life. Although i gave my husband a second chance I too am preparing myself to make an exit for good should things go sour again.

  It really boils my blood how an organization can come between the sanctity of marriage and condition an individual to put the needs of an organization ahead of one's own mate.I'm second place to this cult and no one should be put in that position to be treated less than what they deserve.

  Hugs to you no matter what stage of your journey you are in and thank you for sharing your experience.

  Lost-Wun

  "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.....
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  35

  reponse letter to JW-fleshly-brother about my leaving the WT

  by AhHah in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear (jw-brother), .

  i was pleased and pleasantly surprised to receive your thoughtful letter.

  thank you for your concern and for taking the time to write.

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  Lostwun

  Marked
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  65

  Introducing...ME

  by Heartsafire in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  long time lurker here.

  i'm a fifth gen born-in baptized jw.

  to say i've been struggling with doubts is an understatement.

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  Lostwun

  Hearts WELCOME! May you find comfort from many supportive and loving ones on this board as I have. My heart goes out to you in your situation becausd I too am dealing with an active jw spouse who will not wake up. Anytime you need a listening ear or even a safe place to vent feel free to pm me. Once again welcome to the club :)
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  138

  My Mother Died Two Weeks Ago

  by Perry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  none of my jehovah's witness relatives called to tell me or my family.

  just found out this morning.

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  Lostwun

  Perry my deepest condolences to you during this difficult time.
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  7

  Have they announced the new meeting arrangement yet?

  by JimmyPage in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was thinking it will be at the midweek meeting and not today.

  is that correct?

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  Lostwun

  I can tell you that the changes youve been hearing to come are legit. The two elders at my house tonight confirmed it as they were trying to tell me about all I missed since I havent attended. New workbooks and all its true.
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  72

  The bridge burning has begun.

  by sparrowdown in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was feeling particularly hopeless about the whole jws being assholes thing and sick to death of pretending so ....

  i rang my sister and told her that i no longer believe jws have the truth and the phone went silent, when i asked her to say something she just said if that was the case then she would have to hang up on me and then proceeded to indeed hang up..

  so i texted her back immediately with fu..

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  Lostwun

  Sparrow I commend you and your bravery to put it all out there and no longer be held captive. I pray one day I too will find the strength to be that brave. take good care of yourself sis and stay strong
  

  LostWun
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  30

  Where you are in your life now.....What would you have preferred .... To be left in ignorance ? ...Or to know the truth about the truth

  by smiddy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think possibly their are a few valid reasons for either options to this question ,depending on a number of factors .. such as how old you might be, how long you have devoted your life to the "truth" as you believed it .

  ?....how it may affect your mental/physical health and well being.?.

  how it will affect your financial position in your life ,?

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  Lostwun

  Smiddy im still trying to figure out how I feel. Somedays I feel free as a bird. Other days I struggle with the emotional toll of dealing with the loss of everything I grew up with. do I miss the control WT had over my life? No. But I hate the breaking of family ties and division that it causes. As much as it hurts like hell I for once in my life have to be true to myself and not follow blindly after imperfect men.