For me I fight the thought that god doesn't exist. I spent my entire life worshipping jehovah and now because im no longer a witness I dont automatically come to the conclusion that he doesnt exist. I personally feel like ive felt his presence throughout many stages in my life so im not quick to give up on him but I will say that there are things that happen in the world today that make me question why he wont do anything about it.
If it makes sense at all I would say that im on the fence right now with my belief in Jehovah.