Posts by breathing

34

NEED HELP ASAP

by BoomTown in

jw
friends

my wife is bitter towards the organization right now and is finally willing to talk about flaws without her shutting down.

what is the easiest way to prove the witnesses don't have the "the single truth" of the bible?.

today i said to her, "you are probably worried about leaving because you think "what if they are right and armageddon comes.

breathing

how about not 'pushing' but rather saying when she is ready to explore things you are here for her.......

tell her you know 'a few things, inconsistancies and such'...

AND

Get her to see it for herself. Don't tell her, help her to get it out.

the 2 above quotes from previous posts are spot on in my opinion,

i was terrified when i started to have doubts and i actively avoided people i knew would help me leave cos i was needing to slow it right down, and looking back i needed the space and time to gather the strength and courage to be able to leave without feeling that terror,

i started having doubts because of inhumane treatment of individuals on a couple of occasions that i just could not ignore, it got to that part of me that wasnt brainwashed and it started the ball rolling, although slowly,

just be there for her, be a great husband!! so that you are her support network NOT THEM, so that when and if she leaves, she will know she can survive it,

is ther anyway you could move away from the area thats having a big effect on her? i did that too, and i t really helped me to leave, not having the pressure of a congregation and family right on my doorstep.

and yes just get her to say things, they say that a really good teacher gets the pupil to come to the answer themselves and that that is the best way to learn, but you can nudge her in the direction of it,

33

Field Service Drains Me....

by shadowolf in

jw
friends

at this point i absolutely hate field service.

i have to keep going hough, or else the brothers in my group will be all over my back.

part of me just doesnt give a f***, but something inside me doent wanna have to deal with it.

breathing

now why didnt i ever have that much fun on FS, bloody hell,lifes just not fair!

16

first christmas

by serein in

so its my first and im feeling uncomfortable, i want to go ahead and do it,.

all the trimmings everything but i havnt done it in 20 years and it still feels weird,.

anyone else ever had this prob when they first left jws,.

breathing

and if your motive is to give your kids happiness and love how can what you do be wrong? do you think that if there is a god he is that petty and small minded?

or wont he see the big picture and just be smiling that you are showing love and care to your family?

16

first christmas

by serein in

so its my first and im feeling uncomfortable, i want to go ahead and do it,.

all the trimmings everything but i havnt done it in 20 years and it still feels weird,.

anyone else ever had this prob when they first left jws,.

breathing

""You can make Christmas as big a production or as little as you choose, there is no right and wrong way to do it per say."" i like the words above that psacremento wrote, try not to force yourself into corners, ive done that andits hell, ive had years where ive had trees, years where ive felt to scared too, i felt like the devil to be honest, the first year i had a little tree, as my family found out reacted very badly to me even though im a fader too.

i find that the tiny miny trees have been a halfway house for me, and i have winter berries and holly and white lights around, so it feels cosy and wintery not too xmasy but i do have all my cards up from all my lovely friends and neighbours and i feel quite strong abuot my small standing up for my decisions now.

dont force yourself, there will be another year,

just try and be happy and have fun with your kids whatever you decide, play some games, and have a laugh,

for me, xmas aint ever going to mean what it does to some of my friends that had the traditions from infancy, but there are things im beginning to like about the season,

im still scared about having a big tree, so i dont have one, i do the things that dont cause me stress, and each year it gets a bit better, some could say its a cop out me not standing up to my fear, but i choose theoption that gives me less stress on this one, you cant face all your fears and old conditioning in one go. and believe me we have enough shit to face after leaving that religion without piling the pressure on,

i love sending all my lovely neighbours cards, choosing my lovely friends presents that i know they will love, ihave a couple of neighbours in for drinks and natter and eats, i visit family that arent jws and let my hair down, i go to one or two xmas parties,

for me its about a time of friendship and caring and community, so aslong asyou get some of that into your xmas, dont worry about the specifics!!

21

Suicide - My column on Freeminds

by Lady Lee in

yesterday i spoke of my disfellow-shipping from the jehovahs witnesses.

i had been depressed for many years due to a lifetime of abuse.

as long as i could remember i thought of suicide as the ace up my sleeve; something to do when i thought i could not take it anymore.. after 15 years of marriage to a witness who was emotionally and sexually abusive the thoughts of suicide were on my mind almost constantly.

breathing

god youre right, they dont do it for any reason like the jws do!

and they dont make friends cos they have to either,

i have friends that say to me " im friends with you cos i like you i dont have to be your friend"

and i find that sooooo new and weird, cos i was used to doing everything espec regarding people, cos i HAD to, I HAD to be a good christian i HAD to invite, playwith, go out with, this person that person SOOOOO NOT GENUINE! and yet they are the ones making all the claims about being good and kind etc, but its not genuine!

people seem to do nice things cos they want to out in this real life, not cos of the prize of Everlasting Life!!

21

Suicide - My column on Freeminds

by Lady Lee in

yesterday i spoke of my disfellow-shipping from the jehovahs witnesses.

i had been depressed for many years due to a lifetime of abuse.

as long as i could remember i thought of suicide as the ace up my sleeve; something to do when i thought i could not take it anymore.. after 15 years of marriage to a witness who was emotionally and sexually abusive the thoughts of suicide were on my mind almost constantly.

breathing

i think its realistic to have suicide as an option and to bring it into the arena of choices when one is in a very pressured situation, it kind of alleviates pain knowing that choice is always there if you want it, and to somehow say i can do that tomorrow if i want to,

but its good to get to a place where that option doesnt have to come into the arena anymore!

moving to hear you experience,

i still struggle and i had an experience yesterday where someone showed me an act of kindness that helped me out of a hole,

after the experiences of inhumanity and cruelty in the jws, its a real tonic and a learning of a new reality to experince friendship that is without all that judgement, and to realise there are friends who will accept you for who are, not whether you obey some rules or not, and so you can relax and be true to yourself, and embrace difference,

good thread lady lee

33

Field Service Drains Me....

by shadowolf in

jw
friends

at this point i absolutely hate field service.

i have to keep going hough, or else the brothers in my group will be all over my back.

part of me just doesnt give a f***, but something inside me doent wanna have to deal with it.

breathing

i feel for your situation too, it must be real hard to keep going now that you dont believe,

just try and get as much support for yourself as you can outside the org, so that when you do make a move it will help you deal with it, dont give yourself any more pressure than you need, just try to build up a life for yourself on the outside of it,

iwas baptized young but didnt wakeup to the fact i didnt believe it till in my early thirties, i wish i could have woken up earlier, but then at least i had lived independantly by the time i woke up, so that helped with my confidence in one way,

I faded and didnt get disfellowshipped, i moved away from my local area and circuitso that i could be anon and that really helped, i could then still visit family but get away too,

44

how to tell elders we dont wana go anymore leave us alone,

by serein in

jw
friends

stoped goin over a year ago now, been bugged ever since,iv just sent em away with im ill to tierd goin out what ever excuse i could think of to get em off my back,.

im a big wimp so is my husband, every time the elder turns up we go yer yer come next week what ever and wel sort sumat out.

which we dont mean its our brain washed mind talking and its very weak,.

breathing

people that get mad with you on here serein are probably angry cos they feel useless that you arent accepting any of their suggestions and

THEY feel useless deep down, perhaps unconcsciously,

so actually their anger at you is a sign that they arent so strong after all,

but actually cannot cope with your replies and your strength in daring to show your vulnerability in public,

and so they feel they have to protect their vulnerability by losing their cool with you,

so when you think you are wishy washy and weak, actually remember that you are the strong one to dare to show your softer sides and to talk about the things you are struglling with

and regards the issue of the bro calling, i would write in the letter that it was distressing me that he keep calling, and that he do not call again as it is affecting your health, and that you will get in touch if andwhen you want to, but that he should NOT call again,

you dont have to be nasty, be firm,

it does take a while, it did for me,

take care

49

What made you start questioning: people or doctrine?

by In in

let us know what got you questioning wbts in the first place.

i've got a theory that it starts with people hurting us and only then does the "apostate" turn to looking at the beliefs.. anybody who started questioning beliefs first?.

breathing

suicide of someone mentally ill being threatened with disfellowshipping,

it really opened my eyes, i thought "THIS ISNT RIGHT, THIS IS NOT HUMANE"

and i started to look around,

i saw that out there in that "world" they spoke about" there were people that were more christlike and loving and caring even when people made mistakes, they werent jumped on and hounded,

yes theres good and bad in and out of that religion, but that says it all

ITS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ONE RELGION BEING FROM GOD

then i started to look into the doctrine and could see the holes that id never let myself see before, cos i was too scared to look,

34

ks10-e NEWS Additional LTR notation:...PLEASE READ!!!!

by yknot in

evidently the 'boys' haven't gotten all their ducks in a row before printing the book!.

they have issued another boe ltr (will have late sunday or early monday) regarding wedding procedure and scriptural freedom to remarry!.

the ltr is dated oct 12, 2010 (so if anybody has a copy already post it or send it to me and i will post it).

breathing

if they have the time and the money to send letters to all congregations about permission to spiral bind - when i bet theres thousands of their "brothers and sisters" without proper food clothing and shelter = well then they really MUST be gods true organisation to take care of his FLOCK in this day and age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!