I was 13 years. It was at Dodger's Stadium in Los Angeles, Ca. It felt like such a beautiful thing at the time.... wondering how Jesus must have felt at his baptism, seeing a pigeon fly overhead and thinking "this is my dove", and being totally taken in while looking around at a massive sea of 'brothers and sisters'. Now i realize what a small world I was a part of...
freeflyingfaerie
JoinedPosts by freeflyingfaerie
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70
How many of you were baptised at a young age?
by lepermessiah inone thing this site has made me reflect on the baptism practice in jw land.. many of us were raised in the religion, thus you were given the pressure early on to shoot for baptism as a goal.. i remember feeling bad because i waited until the ripe old age of 14 to take the plunge.. looking back, i realize that when i was 14, i didnt even know what my favorite color was, let alone have enough knowledge to make a life altering decision.
yet, growing up in that climate, i would say anyone who waited past their early teens to get baptised was viewed with great suspicion and was likely to be viewed as "bad association".
kids who took the dip at 8-9 years of age were viewed as "wise beyond their years" and the like.. how old were some of you when you were baptised, and what are your feelings on the matter?.
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If you felt/feel that you had/have good, close "friends" in the org, how did/does it feel to just give them up?
by Crisis of Conscience inthis is my biggest dilema.
although mentally i really feel i could walk away from the org right now, i still have genuine love for the people i have come to know over the years.
i love people!.
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freeflyingfaerie
I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, its so good to not be around the cult mentality by being w them. But on the other hand, I miss some very close friends that i had over the years very much, and wish they would wake up.
I remember confiding in a really close friend as i was on my way out that it isnt personal, but I find myself on a different path now and dont relate to the congregation anymore. She was really hurt, and wrote me a letter full of guilt-tripping and threats, including 'you may not realize it, but satan is manipulating you.' When a person leaves the cult, it is a painful side-effect that we lose friends. I go in peace.
Its been wonderful that i've been making some really good friends with some amazing people, now that ive allowed myself to. As a jw, I closed myself off from so many wonderful people and experiences! sometimes i feel like a kid in a candy store! And people are very accepting of a freak like myself! its been a new lease on life to give up the congregation~~losing some friends, yes, but gaining so much!!
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44
The only reason most of us are here is......
by Quillsky in.....disfellowshipping, i think.. potential disfellowshipping, current disfellowshipping, disfellowshipping of people we love.. it's the most genius cult tool ever invented..
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freeflyingfaerie
I'm here for therapuetic purposes. With the posts i've been reading, it feels like this is a bringing together of so many people who have pulled themselves out of the religious trap set by jehovah's witnesses. It hurts, it hurts bad, and this is a good place to feel a sense of belonging or understanding. That's what im beginning to realize
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44
The only reason most of us are here is......
by Quillsky in.....disfellowshipping, i think.. potential disfellowshipping, current disfellowshipping, disfellowshipping of people we love.. it's the most genius cult tool ever invented..
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freeflyingfaerie
perhaps its a wonderful thing that there is disfellowshipping, it is helping me to keep a pretty safe distance from hearing much more of the preaching. it is sad to say, but the division between me and my family has allowed me to let go of so much that ive been told over the years
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74
Most people who are not JW's live with out moral restrain! All who have left the "Truth" regret it. June 15th WT
by life is to short inin the june 15th wt it says on page 9 i will just write it out as it is to hard and unbelievable to preface this.
so here it is.. "many who today are members of the christian congregation can tell you that before learning of and adopting jehovah's righteous standards, they lived without moral restrain.
yet, they were unsatisfied and unhappy.
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freeflyingfaerie
Darth has me in stitches!
The posts are put so well. I personally feel as if i untied wings that i always suspected i had. And who's to say that our freedom has to be used for hurting ourselves or others?
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42
Do you still pray? Why?
by gubberningbody inhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6ilzaaami.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uazdcs-rmf4.
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freeflyingfaerie
right now i'm praying for a way to get image from photobucket to here... i'm not in love with my avatar (no offense to the artist)
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9
The 'you don't look happy' theory, the anorexic masturbator, and other crazy cunundrums(?)
by freeflyingfaerie inso it was that we were having another emotionally charged conversation, my parents and i. in the course of it, they condescendingly told me i wasnt happy, because i just dont look like it to them (they don't even know me anymore, as we have no real relationship-- the never-ending assumptions they make of others infuriates me to no end!!).
my theory~~~ of course df'd family and ex-friends don't look happy to them!
what they see (if they ever encounter us) is someone who is dead to them, has been publicly flogged emotionally and mentally~~~why would we fake a smile and pretend everything is normal and ok when we see them?
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freeflyingfaerie
Yes, usually we have no contact. That's a good thing, since discussions get emotional and only end in frustration. But, for right now, i am having to take them up on their offer to watch my little faeries once a week, while i work some on the weekend. I hate having to expose them to my parents' possible mind-workings. I'm looking for a solution to this. That's a whole nother story. It is my goal for my little people and me to be distant from them.. to love them from afar.
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42
Do you still pray? Why?
by gubberningbody inhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6ilzaaami.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uazdcs-rmf4.
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freeflyingfaerie
Yes, to the universe. When i feel overwhelmed or need to calm myself inside i will take a nature walk and just want to connect with all the beauty all around, and want to just feel love and a closeness to all that is warm and peaceful in this universe. I don't believe in the 'God' i once did, but i like to believe that there is another dimension, realm, something or someone(s) supernatural that we cant completely understand. Sometimes amazing coincidences happen and i wonder if there is a meaning to it. It feels good, though to not pray anymore to the 'God' that was created by the witnesses
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9
The 'you don't look happy' theory, the anorexic masturbator, and other crazy cunundrums(?)
by freeflyingfaerie inso it was that we were having another emotionally charged conversation, my parents and i. in the course of it, they condescendingly told me i wasnt happy, because i just dont look like it to them (they don't even know me anymore, as we have no real relationship-- the never-ending assumptions they make of others infuriates me to no end!!).
my theory~~~ of course df'd family and ex-friends don't look happy to them!
what they see (if they ever encounter us) is someone who is dead to them, has been publicly flogged emotionally and mentally~~~why would we fake a smile and pretend everything is normal and ok when we see them?
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freeflyingfaerie
i dont mean to come off as vulgar or anything, i'm using words to vent!!!! i've been having a very difficult time of this. The religion still affects me, even after leaving it. It doesn't seem fair. It isn't fair. They still try to control people once they've chosen a different path by using psychological abuse, basically. There is inner peace that i have freed myself and think for myself, but it still hurts that my choices are not respected by those who used to be closest to me.
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9
The 'you don't look happy' theory, the anorexic masturbator, and other crazy cunundrums(?)
by freeflyingfaerie inso it was that we were having another emotionally charged conversation, my parents and i. in the course of it, they condescendingly told me i wasnt happy, because i just dont look like it to them (they don't even know me anymore, as we have no real relationship-- the never-ending assumptions they make of others infuriates me to no end!!).
my theory~~~ of course df'd family and ex-friends don't look happy to them!
what they see (if they ever encounter us) is someone who is dead to them, has been publicly flogged emotionally and mentally~~~why would we fake a smile and pretend everything is normal and ok when we see them?
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freeflyingfaerie
So it was that we were having another emotionally charged conversation, my parents and i. In the course of it, they condescendingly told me i wasnt happy, because i just dont look like it to them (they don't even know me anymore, as we have no real relationship-- the never-ending assumptions they make of others infuriates me to no end!!)
my theory~~~ of course df'd family and ex-friends don't look happy to them! What they see (if they ever encounter us) is someone who is DEAD to them, has been publicly flogged emotionally and mentally~~~why would we fake a smile and pretend everything is normal and ok when we see them?
Speaking of DEAD, I asked them if they really feel alright about not having contact with me. The cold reply was something along the lines of 'we're preparing for your eventual death, like the Israelites something something'...and on and on, I forget the rest, as it never ceases to stun me when they talk like this. !!!!!
And I had to mention that I dont feel that priorities are straight when abuses, against children in particular, are allowed, but then its considered a huge crime to pleasure your own self. I said for that ALONE i would never, ever dream of "coming back" , as they say. The response was that 'masturbation' is arousing you sexually (no duh!) and that it could tempt you to fornication (what a wierd word) - and that one should 'deaden themself'-- and that one should 'train' themselves not to enjoy that, like an anorexic trains themself to not enjoy food! --( isnt anorexia a sickness?!) Each day I thank the universe that I woke myself up from the JW coma and am no longer feeding my mind such backward ideas
On a lighter note, the weather has been beautiful