I am new to this forum and was hoping to have some place to vent. I am absulutely hurt and beside myself as I write this.
I raised my kids to follow the witness teachings. One of my daughters has a very severe bipolar disorder and is currently in a mental institution after trying to kill herself. I am no longer a witness, disfellowshipped about a year ago. My daughter asked to see me, and I went to visit her. What I had to endure since that visit is tearing my heart out.
Her husbands family are all stepford robots and are deep down uncaring horrible human beings. Visit time was only an hour, I drove an hour just to see her and make sure she was ok. We laughed and hugged and cried and told each other how much we missed each other and needed to be a complete family again. Her witness husband was there the entire time, except to leave for a few minutes so his perfect parents could visit with MY daughter. She told me that she was upset by the fact that they have been having money problems and asked his perfect, loaded with money grandparents lent them money with a clause-that they attend all meetings. This upset my daughter and stressed her to the point where 2 days ago she tried to take her life.She is also the mother of a beautiful little boy who doesn't even know who I am.
All I said to her was that Jehovah's and his son Jesus love was unconditional and that she could only do what she could do. The pressure for perfection on this poor girl is too much. I told her I loved her, she asked me to return and see her and call her and we cried and hugged goodbye. I left, walking past the robots who acted like I was a criminal just released from custody. Fine with me, because I want nothing to do with them anyway.
Her husband runs out to my car in the parking lot yelling at me "what did you say to her??" I told him that I assured her God's love would be with her through this no matter how many meetings she attends. I don't think the robots appreciated my visit and took the 5 minutes they had left with her to tell her that. Obviously, my clear mind and thinking is a major threat to them and they want me invisible as I have been.
On my drive home, the husband called and told me my daughter did not want to see me or hear from me again. I had greatly upset her. I guess honesty upset the apple cart, and now I am a horrendous villain who is seeking to undermine her getting better. I said nothing bad about JW's, just that she needs her family (she has an older disfellowshipped sister also who she wanted to speak to on the phone).
I have no rights, cannot say anything in my defense, and feel bad that my child feels this way about me. The brainwashing and programming are too much for me to even think about. Promises of seeing my grandson are gone and I don't even know if my daughter will ever be allowed to communicate with me at all at this point. I am broken hearted. My only hope is that during her stay at this mental facility, someone will reach her and tell her that the mind control she is under is wrong and she needs to follow her own heart.
My past with the witnesses is not a good one. At one point I did everything that was asked of me as a wife of an elder. I lived to the point of exhaustion trying to meet hour quotas and meetings and 'look good' so my husband could shine. My shining husband rewarded me with raping me, calling me a worthless piece of shit and throwing me down a flight of stairs in front of our children. That began my downward spiral in leaving this disorganization, and it seems to me I always have a target on my back. They have all seemed bound and determined to punish me to extreme because I refuse to be a part of it.
My ex husband is still in good standing and he can do no wrong. I have been told that my grandson calls him 'no no' and they have a wonderful close relationship. My ex husband is a piece of garbage and a horrible person no normal human being would even want to know. Yet he is embraced by these people because he lied about the way he treated me and is still in their good graces, while I am outcast.
Do I have legal recourse to seek visitation with my grandson? I don't know what to do about my daughter I love so much. I fear writing her a letter that will be intercepted by these horrible people. I just don't know what to do.
Thank you for listening to me and allowing me to vent. I feel I am fighting an uphill battle, but I know I'm not alone. Any coping mechanisms will be greatly appreciated if someone has any advice.
