Well done you ..you've used patience and wisdom and you sound like a great husband and father.
Loz x
Lozhasleft
JoinedPosts by Lozhasleft
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31
The effect of this religion on my children & the action I had to take - Part III
by jambon1 inhere is parts i & ii.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/191112/1/the-effect-of-this-religion-on-my-children-the-action-i-had-to-take-part-i.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/191251/1/the-effect-of-this-religion-on-my-children-the-action-i-had-to-take-part-ii.
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138
What year Did you Stop Attending Meetings - How Long were you a JW ?
by flipper ini'm trying to compare some statistics and figures on this to share later in the thread to see if more long-time witnesses are exiting- or are newer witnesses exiting after a shorter period of time.
and - are more people exiting in the last 10 to 15 years than before.
so your answers would be helpful in looking into this .
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Lozhasleft
I started associating in the late 70s and left in 2007.
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Hello..this is my story..
by Lozhasleft ini'm pleased to have found this site...i've browsed a little ...read quite a lot and gasped at some stories, giggled at the one liners and nodded in recognition of others' strong opinions and can relate to a great deal.. i'll try and keep my intro as brief as possible for anyone kind enough to listen.. i got involved with the witnesses in the late 70's in the uk.
i was in my early 20s and had had a love and fascination for the bible since my difficult childhood.
i soon brought my life into 'line' although it took a long time for me to pack up the smoking which didnt go down well in those days when 6 months of study should have been enough and if you hadnt cracked it then it was suggested that you were some kind of loser.... i reared my 4 children in the 'truth' as well as i could but i cant claim that we were a 'strong' family in their terms...just muddled along really..my husband at the time was a very difficult and abusive man and home life wasnt easy for any of us with his anger, jealousy and violence.
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Lozhasleft
Thank you so much for your welcomes Diva Zidina Darklighter and Jonathon...everyone's words meant a great deal to me.
I wont become an atheist, I know it would be impossible for me, especially after what happened. I still love the scriptures very much, and for me they stand alone. Finding a 'church' or people to share them or maybe even 'not' doing, is the challenge. Its true there are plenty of wonderful people out here with different beliefs/non beliefs and I cherish each one I 'meet' in my life. But then I always did really, and got frowned on for loving the 'oddest' type individuals who 'studied'.
I'm sure that I'll find direction soon.
Loz x
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64
Hello..this is my story..
by Lozhasleft ini'm pleased to have found this site...i've browsed a little ...read quite a lot and gasped at some stories, giggled at the one liners and nodded in recognition of others' strong opinions and can relate to a great deal.. i'll try and keep my intro as brief as possible for anyone kind enough to listen.. i got involved with the witnesses in the late 70's in the uk.
i was in my early 20s and had had a love and fascination for the bible since my difficult childhood.
i soon brought my life into 'line' although it took a long time for me to pack up the smoking which didnt go down well in those days when 6 months of study should have been enough and if you hadnt cracked it then it was suggested that you were some kind of loser.... i reared my 4 children in the 'truth' as well as i could but i cant claim that we were a 'strong' family in their terms...just muddled along really..my husband at the time was a very difficult and abusive man and home life wasnt easy for any of us with his anger, jealousy and violence.
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Lozhasleft
Nice try TE and I appreciate the thought but I'll never ever go back there. Loz x
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31
The effect of this religion on my children & the action I had to take - Part II
by jambon1 ini posted this part of the story earlier this week.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/191112/1/the-effect-of-this-religion-on-my-children-the-action-i-had-to-take-part-i.
so we are at the point where my daughter has been taking in my lifestyle for 4 years since she i left the truth when she was just 4 years old.
my son who is a couple of years younger thankfully seems to be immune to most of the indoctrination from the jws.
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Lozhasleft
Thank you Baba ...every time someone says similar to me I feel validated ...it really counts so thank you.... and apologies if I've hijacked the thread in any way...I just feel so strongly ...
Loz x
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31
The effect of this religion on my children & the action I had to take - Part II
by jambon1 ini posted this part of the story earlier this week.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/191112/1/the-effect-of-this-religion-on-my-children-the-action-i-had-to-take-part-i.
so we are at the point where my daughter has been taking in my lifestyle for 4 years since she i left the truth when she was just 4 years old.
my son who is a couple of years younger thankfully seems to be immune to most of the indoctrination from the jws.
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Lozhasleft
Get your kids out!!! I've lost all mine...dont leave it too late like I did...
When I was first a mother I resolved that noone would separate me from my kids (my childhood traumas were mostly caused by the departing of my mother) and with this stalwart ideal I reared them. I had my first child at 18 and my last at 40 so it was a kind of a whole 30 odd year parenting job if you get me. The majority of my life. The advent of the 'outfit' in our lives changed so much which obviously is only so evident to me now in hindsight. My kids were very gradually guided away from real family life with the celebrations and traditions, and groomed instead to respect elders and COs and Bethelites more than their very inadequate parents in a difficult marriage. There came at time with the 4 older ones...19 -30 range..I had taken a stand about the 2 sons behaviour to me who were still at home..and they were angry..an elder they talked to made a plan. He called a meeting between himself another elder and the 4 after a meeting one night at the KH. I went in ..they all sat in a row opposite me and the elder invited them to air all their grievances about me. It was a lynch mob kangaroo court. I cant describe the horror of it all. Even silly little issues from way back which were long resolved were dragged up to me in confrontation. The lies and distortions were in abundance too. I had to walk out in the end because I couldnt take the pain. I remember driving to a friend's home and I was unable to walk after she opened the door..I had to crawl in on hands and knees I was so 'doubled up' in agony. None of us have ever been the same again. It destroyed something between us all that couldnt be repaired. Writing this down is making me shake at the memories.
I dont profess to have been the best mother in the world...god knows I've got plenty of faults..but you know what, I did my bloody best as far as I could. And even when I failed them it didnt mean I didnt love the bones of them, I did, unconditionally. I only had my own resources to give them, their dad was hopeless as a father, but I gave the best of me for many many years...Dont let this or anything like it...happen to you and your wife.
Loz x
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23
Do you think it's possible being a witness can kill a person?
by The Finger ina close relative of mine just before he died claimed it was being a witness that was partially responsible for his death (leaving aside the blood issue).
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Lozhasleft
I developed CFS/ME after some strenuous years and the specialist told me it was rampant among jws here in the uk cos of the pressure put upon them to do more and more. I still kept pioneering. A very old elder who was a love. the other elders all bullied him too, sat me down one day and said 'why are you making Jehovah into a slave driver?' he had a point. Later after my DF I developed a breast cancer and the drs insisted it was the trauma of the DF ...I wasnt sure I believed them ...but considering how good my health is now I think they may have been right. If I hadnt been stronger I certainly would have given in and 'topped' myself. I told them I felt this way and they just shrugged. Bloodguilt I think? Yep definitely.
Loz x
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12
ARRGH - Post Memorial Calls
by Simon Morley inseems that our 1st non attendance at the memorial has put us on the "1 sheep out of 100 radar".
we have been inundated with calls (we usually do a good job of screening) and the drop by in service wed, thurs and yesterday of some of the die/blowhards.
i fully expect another in about an hour.
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Lozhasleft
If you want to 'fade' in peace....I wouldnt bring up doctrinal stuff at all. I suggest that you keep it mild but firm. Say that you have both been feeling very stressed with life in general and that you want to take time out for each other etc etc. They cant disfellowship you for that and if they suggest shepherding visits you can say assertively...'No thank you but no...we really want some space for now but we'll ring you if we need to .' Then whatever they say or suggest just repeat this. No brainer....they'll be stuck...wish to goodness I'd done this...long ago...
Loz x
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Lozhasleft
I'm sad for Peaches and for others who feel similarly. I have felt close to god for a long time. I actually think the jw angle with their rules etc do the damage.
Loz x
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23
Do you think it's possible being a witness can kill a person?
by The Finger ina close relative of mine just before he died claimed it was being a witness that was partially responsible for his death (leaving aside the blood issue).
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Lozhasleft
Babayoga ..Yep good link..I have seen too many of these type deaths myself....x