Posts by Lozhasleft

49

How did you find the strength to leave?

by SAHARA in

to all of you exjws, i'm sure you've been asked this question one way or the other many times and i'm sure the answer is different for many of you, i'd like to know directly from you never having a chance to hear or read many exjw's answers to this.

knowing that you would be cut off from your family and friends and other consequences for your decision to leave, how did you ever get the strength to do it?

i mean really, i find it fascinating to know that there are so many of you who were at one time very devout, if not at the very least loyal to one of the most successful mind-contol organizations ever who believed all if not most of what the society taught and still you found the courage to risk everything once you accepted that it isn't what it claims to be.

Lozhasleft

lOZHASLEFT SAID - "After much suffering and abandonment including losing all of my five adult children and many friends from over 30 years of faithful service...I chose to move on with a new life...and after some years I started to research ...wow...there was a shock..."

This is exactly the kind of thing I'm so amazed at. Now, maybe you didn't really have much of a choice about how your family would treat you once you were disfellowshipped, I'm still very impressed with how people like you seem to be able to see things as they really are, accept it and move on. Most people I think would do everything they can to be reinstated if only to maintain a relationship with their family. What an aweful thing to be put through... I hope you have found some peace

Thank you ..yes I have found peace, and happiness. It maybe sounds a little flippant the way I worded it but I assure you it was painful in the extreme, the worst thing I've ever had to deal with in my life so far, and there's been some really difficult times. I explained to two of the elders from my JC, a few months after it, how I felt and how impossible it would be for me to trust them again, and one just shrugged his shoulders, while the other refused to make eye contact. Deplorable. I asked them to leave my home then. I couldnt deny what was staring me in the face but the shock and disappointment was huge. I subsequently got very physically ill, and when I recovered I determined to turn things around and build a new life. I had to do it or crumble. I'm glad I did, and my life now is so different, so full and so happy....amazing. Only in the past few months though have I been able to talk about it on a forum such as this and be able to read and enjoy Ray Franz's Crisis of Conscience...

This has been an excellent thread with so many moving stories...

Loz x

29

Now a college graduate!!!

by Doubting Bro in

jw
friends

wanted to let everyone know that i've finally graduated college with a bachelors degree!

ended up earning magna cum laude.. it's difficult to describe the sense of accomplishment.

i still kick myself for listening to the wts when i was a kid and forsaking "higher education".

Lozhasleft

Very Well Done to you ...xxx

Loz x

12

How do you view the truth?

by purplesofa in

jw
friends

.

Lozhasleft

I view it as an organisation that took my family from me as well as many years of my life.

Loz x

33

You may have forgotten about me but here's my update

by doublelife in

jw
friends

it's been a while since i've posted because i've been so busy looking for a full-time job so that i could leave my husband.

well, i've finally got one today.

actually, it's the same job i've had for about a year but someone else just put in their notice to quit so my manager finally gave me full-time status.

Lozhasleft

I dont know you cos I'm fairly new on here myself but I am so happy for you. I too left an abusive husband who was 'wonderful and funny and charm itself' in the K hall....I stayed far too long and I hope you havent. It took a long time but people saw through him in the end although the elders bore me a grudge for ending the marriage despite the terrible violence at the end. I had a teenager and many battles to face....but now today...I have a new life with a wonderful new husband (an atheist in fact ) and I am at Uni doing a degree as a mature student in English Drama & Performance....I've just finished the first year and have loved every minute...

Like you I have enjoyed the thrill of performing, and its been marvellous for my confidence, and being out and about with friends just enjoying life...they wonder at how fond I am of them...but their unconditional friendship and non judgemental attitudes just do me so much good I cant not love them.

I wish you all the best in your new life...as others have said just be careful....

Loz x

13

The ethics of pretending to believe

by pirata in

for a few years now i have been pretending to believe something that i no longer do.

i feel like an actor honing his skills in order to survive in a dictatorship where no dissent is allowed.. so far i have not had to face any real ethical dilemmas that would require me to end the charade: letting a loved one die because of blood or shunning a close df'd family member.. i am slowly helping my immediate family to see the things i am learning, but in the meantime i cannot help but feel bad about the whole charade.

it feels deceptive, and (assuming deception is wrong) is therefore wrong, but i also see it as accomplishing the best good in the medium/long term.. what do you think?

Lozhasleft

Oh YkNOT your post here just made me feel so sad for you...

Loz x

13

The ethics of pretending to believe

by pirata in

for a few years now i have been pretending to believe something that i no longer do.

i feel like an actor honing his skills in order to survive in a dictatorship where no dissent is allowed.. so far i have not had to face any real ethical dilemmas that would require me to end the charade: letting a loved one die because of blood or shunning a close df'd family member.. i am slowly helping my immediate family to see the things i am learning, but in the meantime i cannot help but feel bad about the whole charade.

it feels deceptive, and (assuming deception is wrong) is therefore wrong, but i also see it as accomplishing the best good in the medium/long term.. what do you think?

Lozhasleft

Many do...but I personally have come to see that you have to play them at their own game...and that obviously means strategy and tactics...we're talking damage limitation arent we?

Loz x

146

What Stupid Things Were You Counseled For?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i've always been told that i have a very good personality, that i'm humorous, etc.. one elder called me over and said that i was "smiling too much".

the other elders talked to the elder who counseled me and he came back to say that i should be like i was .

.

Lozhasleft

If some of these werent so tragic they'd be funny...

Loz x

57

Is the GB setting up to dump 1914?

by karter in

jw
friends

with the "generation change" and them changing it all the time it would make sence to dump it all togeather.. lets face it ,it can be disproved easly.. they dumped 1975 in a heart beat .. this would buy them all the time they wanted as they would just find another date to start the generation from ie: "the u.n year of peace and sercurty'',1986 i belive or whatever else they could think of.. they could sell it to the r&f as easly as they sold 1975,then dumped it when it did'nt happen .. anyone questioning them would be told they are running ahead of jehovah or lacking faith in his earthly org that feeds us food at the proper time .. what do you think?.

karter..

Lozhasleft

No I agree they cant dump that one...its too prominent a feature in their whole doctrine...they must be really struggling though...

Loz x

48

Did you ever feel let down by the Bethel tour?

by maninthemiddle in

jw
friends

reading jeff's thread about dress made me think of my one and only trip to bethel.. i can't remember if i was babtised at the time, but i went with a bus load of jws.. like someone said in the last thread, printing presses and empty rooms.

i was very disapointed, however i don't think i had any pre-concieved notions of what it would be like.

what i was diapointed in was so much of the "tour" was walking hallways looking at exhibits behind glass.

Lozhasleft

I went on the London Bethel tour...it wasnt how I expected it to be ...just very quiet and sterile and empty. Not real somehow. When visiting Canada I went on theirs and it did seem better but we were shown around by a friend of a friend...and he was a nice guy.

Loz x

24

My Parents First Taste Of Being Shunned Since They DA'd.

by mentallyfree31 in

my parents sent their da letter back in march.

my mom bumped into a jw who has been a friend since 1985, in fact they were baptized the same day at the same convention.

this particular jw quit attending meetings in 1996. my mom saw her in a grocery store.

Lozhasleft

Pleased to hear about your mum and dad and their freedom. Now your mum can choose friends who will offer unconditional friendship which is so much healthier and much more rewarding isnt it?

Loz x