Thank Ynot!! I just downloaded the elders manual file and I'm gunna check it out right now. I didn't even know these things were available to the public!!! lol, looks like there's alot I don't know. ;)
Thank you!!
i have a cousin who has been away from the meetings 5 years.
she was baptized only a year before becoming "inactive" and moved to another state.
then after some time she moved back to the area all the family is from, but wouldn't say a word of anything having to do with the religion.
Thank Ynot!! I just downloaded the elders manual file and I'm gunna check it out right now. I didn't even know these things were available to the public!!! lol, looks like there's alot I don't know. ;)
Thank you!!
i have a cousin who has been away from the meetings 5 years.
she was baptized only a year before becoming "inactive" and moved to another state.
then after some time she moved back to the area all the family is from, but wouldn't say a word of anything having to do with the religion.
Cool thanks. Yeah she has absolutly no contact or association with the congregation and its not even her hall!! She could care less if she was "marked" she only wants to avoid being df'd since contact with her family is the objective. So since marrying an outsider is the only proof of any "wrongdoing" maybe she's fine..
That would be awesome to to know the actual rules. Thank you!!
ive been lurking here for the past couple of months since i started researching the organization.
i dont have many people to talk to and its been a saving grace to read your posts.. i dont really know where to start so here i go.
its been a long journey getting here and it looks as if i still have a long ways to go to get somewhere healthy, stable and strong.
Hi hadit!! I'm so glad like so many of us you've finally had it!! lol sorry, I couldn't help myselft. I am so proud of you! I recently made a solid step to get away, and its been over 6 months now. It for sure hasn't been easy but its true, its SO WORTH IT!! I really hope the best for your family and that's so awesome you got through to your mom! It sounds like you wil be facing some tough times with the elders on your back now. That I belive is the saddest effect the organization has, is disrupting your peace and happiness within the family. I am fortunate to have my husband leave with me, but I have an enormous amound of family that are all witnesses and am having a hard time dealing with it. Please keep your chin up and know you are doing the right thing! You have to be true to yourself and to those you love most. I'm so glad you found this place and together we can all find the way to move forward. Looking forward to updates about how you and your family are doing. Please know we care!! Welcome welcome!! Sp glad to meet you!
i have a cousin who has been away from the meetings 5 years.
she was baptized only a year before becoming "inactive" and moved to another state.
then after some time she moved back to the area all the family is from, but wouldn't say a word of anything having to do with the religion.
I have a cousin who has been away from the meetings 5 years. She was baptized only a year before becoming "inactive" and moved to another state. Then after some time she moved back to the area all the family is from, but wouldn't say a word of ANYTHING having to do with the religion. She has had a boyfriend now for sometime and they became engaged early this year. So, she decided to move in with her mom (also a witnes) to save money for her wedding and her mom agreed she and her fiance "wordly") could stay and live with them if they slept on seperate floors of the house. They did, and this arrangement lasted just under a month before they got married.
Now, my mother ( witness in the worst way..) who lived nearby started all this crap about how she should be punished for marrying this guy since she's still a baptized witness and has been "hiding" her life and he is worldly. All the elders did was to tell my family to be careful and not attend the wedding if they don't want to loose their privilages, basically never took action with her. (Mind you, the elders NEVER took the time to encourage her or give a sheperding call all this time she was living in their territory.) They always just ignored her. She does not have records in that hall and has never. So all of a sudden she tells me the other day, she recieved a letter from two elders. No warning. Just telling her they were "intructed" (by who???) to meet with her for the reproach she has brought on the nam of Jehovah and his congregation (what exactly?? who knows). Very vague and yet a threat basically to scare her from being df'd. She's NOT scared at all and told them she doesn't even know them, and has no desire to go back to the kingdom hall. They won't let it go.
So we talked and after getting the details I looked up some information to protect her. See, all the family is playing the "you have to think of the family if you get df'd" card and she really does want to avoid a mess if possible. Like play their game, but get them off her back to please the whole mix of people involved. This is her desire and I want to help her if at all possible to protect her rights as a publisher, and get them off her back. I looked up some info on the wt library and get info to see if how they are handling the matter is wrong and can be dropped.
This is what I think can help, but I'd like if possible to get an opinion of anyone that was a previous elder or i experiancd in dancing around judicial commitees. :)
1. The only person making the accusation, was my mom. The elders never encouraged her to face my cousin and apply Matt.18:15-17. Now my mom lives out of state and I'm sure has no desire to contact her.
2.The sheperding call never took place. Arn't the elders supposed to admonish the brother to change at least a few times before turning it into a commitee??
3.No one outside my mom is willing to give details about my cousin's worldly life as a witness to a sin so is there even a reason to believe this will go anywhere??
4.My cousin is no part of this congregation and also never identifies herself as a witness, so how is she a "threat" to the congregation??
I want to know is there some concrete step she can take to dismiss this letter thing or at least prolong the process till they just get sick of her? She has after 5 years never had a problem and I know many inactive ones are able to disappear without too much trouble. Is there some specail tricks she can play along here to get them off her back? Sorry if this is long. I've been in a judicial comitte before an if I knew now what I knew then, I would have handled it soooo differently. The elders don't deserve anything and meeting with them is such a joke. Well any suggestions would be AWESOME! Thanks experianced players! lol
does everyone remember a few years back, when the km directed that nobody should wear shorts after the convention while out and about?
i don't have the reference, but i remember a brother in our hall made a comment that night at the meeting while it was being discussed.
he was a very poor brother, with 3 children.
I always changed in the car as we were pulling out of the parking lot! lol I couldn't stand to be in a dress and longer. I had it down to a system. It felt great.
dear friends,.
seems like everyday there are more and more new ones finally getting brave enough to come forward.
and welcome to all you lurkers too!!
Applause!! Great sumerization! Its appalling to read it all in one long list. Thank you for posting. :)
almost all woman want to get married and have children.
if you are a faithful jw woman there is a good chance this will never happen.
70% of jw are woman and 30% are men.
I think the worst part for me was because all this time I was pioneering and doing all I possible could in the organization and for Jehovah. When I wasn't recieving a marriage mate that I prayed so hard for, I felt more and more guilty and worthless and new it was because of ME I wasn't "spiritual" enough, and thats just plain depressing.
Wow. Lol.
it's hard to even read this without bursting into laughter.
and just think, we all used to agree with this.. damn, it feels good to be on the outside looking in.. .
And the saddest part is when you"believe it" and feel GUILTY for not being HAPPY to live the "best way of life". Ugh it makes me sad.
i'm not a jw, nor have i ever been.
all of the sudden she wants to spend all this time with me.
of course, lots of what she was telling me about the "bible", didn't make sense.
Hi there! Well, I'm still "getting through" this leaving phase, but when hard core reality hit me, thats what it did. Hit me till it knocked the wind out of me. Major panic attacts and I couldn't eat or sleep for days. But things fell on me fast, I think too fast and I have been trying to make sense of it all since. I think giving your friend things to think about is the only loving thing to do, and it doesn't sound like you're overloading her. I mean she ASKED for it. So give her some time. If she is confused she'll definatly display some confusing behavior. But if she' just playing around, I think it will become obvious if she is sinscere or not. I still get "sick" and wanna throw up from how bad it feels being betrayed. I pray for the best for you friend. But at least you are a good friend and can rise above the hypocritical behavior! Good luck!