Posts by Cagefighter

53

Forum Policy: Off Topic Comments and Nonsense

by Simon in

some people didn't seem to get the message so i'll repeat it to make clear:.

posting off topics comments and general gibberish / nonsense is something i class as spam and will not be tolerated.. any posts found will be removed and if it's repeatedly by the same poster then they will be deleted as well.. thank you for everyone else who uses the forum for proper discussion..

Cagefighter

I agree with Simon. One of the most annoying things about this board lately is there are some people that feel they must chime in when they have no interest of actually discussing the topic. They simply want to disagree or argue instead of having a conversation. It get's old and booring.

I think if some of us, including myself should try harder to imagine this forum as lovely BBQ at Simon's palacial Canadian estate instead of a steel cage match. That might get things going in the right direction.

88

Former Long Time Elder, New Member

by James Jackson in

jw
friends

i have served 20 years as an elder, 5 years as an ms. was on the district committee in 2010, held various positions on the district , circuit, and rbc level.

probably been on more than 100 judicial committees and even an appeals committee.

was the coordinator in our congregation and deleted because adult child was df ( i kicked him out at the time of his wrongdoing, but that wasn't enough for thr brothers).

Cagefighter

Welcome!

And Call your son and tell him you love him or how proud you are of him. No further explanation needed. It's not too late.

-CF

27

I am miserable...am I crazy?

by Cagefighter in

jw
friends

as a born in jw my outlet was always music.

my parents let me do piano lessons (from another sister) and when i was 14 i lobbied hard enough for a guitar.

i formed a decent punk/emo type in high school behind my parents back.

Cagefighter

Is it being irresponsible if I keep a roof over my head and pay my way? I detest the guy I am having to become to make it in this business. Don't get me wrong, I am not polyanna. I have been in the collections biz for a while and I rationalized everything I do a long time ago. This is about who I am and how I am spending my life I guess. If my work was saving poor children from contaminated drinking water that would be one think... However, my work is so self centered and about greed, anger, and just being plain sharky....

I have never been a materialistic person, my sucess in this business has always been due to my ability to relate to others. Which is how I roll as a musician as well. As a collector I am constantly needing validation.... I think I am going to just... I dunno... Anyone want to hear one of my songs from a decade ago and them decide...LOL....

27

I am miserable...am I crazy?

by Cagefighter in

jw
friends

as a born in jw my outlet was always music.

my parents let me do piano lessons (from another sister) and when i was 14 i lobbied hard enough for a guitar.

i formed a decent punk/emo type in high school behind my parents back.

Cagefighter

Thanks Anne...just good to have someone listening to my craziness right now... I did the open mic thing, I know the game... I was pretty good, I just walked away from it because deep down I thought I was supposed to give it up and find a job at some point and take care of a family. Well that was a dumb idea I realize now. Probably some bull shit to make my Dad realize I didn't need him or psychological bull shit. Now I am 35, see the world for what it is, and my JW dad is actually pretty cool. I think he would actually be cooler with me being a muscian all out than a collection agency mogul... It's just an ugly biz, grinds down the soul. The anti-thesis of having a plan. I dunno... please talk to me people. I am desperate for once.

I know and I am respected by a lot of nationwide musicians...they look at me as that unheard of and unknown guy that fell off....I am at the point now where I realize we have to make choices. We are all in for our passions or we are not... I think it's time I went all in. I don't need a girlfriend or family. I just need to be happy doing what I supposed to be doing.

27

I am miserable...am I crazy?

by Cagefighter in

jw
friends

as a born in jw my outlet was always music.

my parents let me do piano lessons (from another sister) and when i was 14 i lobbied hard enough for a guitar.

i formed a decent punk/emo type in high school behind my parents back.

Cagefighter

As a born in JW my outlet was always music. My parents let me do piano lessons (from another sister) and when I was 14 I lobbied hard enough for a guitar. I formed a decent punk/emo type in high school behind my parents back. I had to move with them 1000 miles two weeks after high school and I pulled my fade then. Got into drugs and drinking, always justified it b/c I was a musician. Around 22 I was really into drugs and I actually was leading a cooll band that was getting some cred, but my drug use was getting in the way. I met a really cool girl the same time the band was breaking up and I fell in love. After a year I sold all my guitars, figured it was time to become a man and try and support a home. I never could, she always made more than me, I was jealous, her mom played our issues against the other and I was not mature it didn't work out.

So 10 years ago, I am alone, no band, no girl, no drugs, and I get into meth...ice... really bad shit. I need a job, so I take a job at a collection agency even though I feel like I am selling my soul. Over the years I battle with being in collections and finally I just resign myself to that is who I am and what I am good at.... I dunno... I got a loan almost a year ago to start my own agency... been doing ok... but deep in my heart...... I hate all of this. I hate what I have become.... I have what I have to do to survive...... I hate it all...... I haven't touched a guitar in about 4 years... but that doesn't mean I don't think about making music and wondering if I made the wrong choice way back....

I am 34, unmarried, no kids, and I think I made the wrong choice 10 years ago. I gave up and wussed out when I should have stayed with my music. I am ambitious and I think I have tried to be a sucess in business to make my parents or others happy. I really don't give a shit. I hate caring about money, because I don't. Did I make a huge mistake? Should I just walk away from this mess, buy a cheap guitar, wait tables and do what I know I was put here to do? I have no business owning a collection agency, I am the least materialistic guy in the world.

I have been listening to The Gas Light Anthems alot... maybe I relate to those guys. If they can not give a fuck then so can I right? What did I do?

19

Tips for my Job interview today

by whathehadas in

jw
friends

i got a interview for today a few days ago.

the interview is for orkin, a pest control company.

i haven't had a interview in a while and hopefully i don't get nervous.

Cagefighter

If I was hiring someone for that type of job, I am assuming you will be going to peoples home and offices to help them with their pest control issues.

1. Someone trust worthy, clean criminal background, good manners, and an over all decent person.

2. Patient listener and accomodating personality. I would not want someone that says, sorry I am not going to lay a rat trap b/c my order sheet says just to spray for roaches. Lay the damn rat trap and call the office or adjust the invoice or at least ask for the procedure on that. You would be surprised how many rude people just go, nope that's not my job.

3. Someone willing to do a through job and do the ugly stuff, handle did animals, etc...

84

How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT?

by booker-t in

i am halfway through my master's program in psychology/sociology and plan on being a therapist/sounselor.

i left jw's in 1988 and i have never looked back.

i enjoy my life so much after getting my aa degree, then my ba degree, and now i will soon get my ma degree.

Cagefighter

AuntConnie- I am probably one of the most cynical people you will ever meet. However, I do think the question is a good one regardless of the OP's creditials. It's best to take people at face value on this board and not get our collective panties in a wad about anyone's claim. If someone says they are a therapist in training, so be it, Jesus...hmmm okay..... A crazy angry sister in the congo that doesn't want us ruining her memorial...sure...

Too many people take themselves and others on here waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously.

84

How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT?

by booker-t in

i am halfway through my master's program in psychology/sociology and plan on being a therapist/sounselor.

i left jw's in 1988 and i have never looked back.

i enjoy my life so much after getting my aa degree, then my ba degree, and now i will soon get my ma degree.

Cagefighter

RELAX Everybody, You aren't laying on Booker's couch so stop the gang beat down, OK? Booker asked a legit question, if it hit a nerve with you, well then what do you think that means?

Booker- if you have not ran out of JWN town with an angry mob on your heels I have this to say. I understand where you are coming from and here are my conclusions. I think as a therapist/counselor you should look for the universal themes that cause a lot of emotional disorders. When I say universal themes, I mean those themes like rejection from a parent, suffering a major loss or unstable enviroment, etc..etc.. 99% of people raised as a JW will have these themes in their past. 99% of people that convert will have these themes in their early life but the cause might be different, ie: divorce, drinking, mental illness of a parent. The point is in my opinion, not getting caught up in the story (the why) but rather re-focusing on the what (the pain). The pain is the same no matter what the cause and can be treated the same.

As you can see this board is full of a lot of unaddressed pain. A good therapist should be able to help someone reflect and realize their anger is really not towards the WTBS as much as it is towards their mother for not protecting them or providing a happier childhood (just to give my own example). No one including myself wants to face that reality very easily. Once I did, I realized my issues were with my Parents for being idiots and not the WTBS as much. It's like a kid of a drunk being mad at Budweiser for their Dad not being around. It's scary though because it means giving up a lot of hate that is filling a lot of time and energy in some lives. Some people will never stop and reflect and your efforts should not be wasted on them until they are ready. Good Luck, there are many people that need your help and will benefit from a therapist that understands.

-CF

29

Long Overdue Observation

by earthfire in

i just thought this was funny when it popped into my head this morning.

funny because i should have thought of it long ago and i'm sure that i'm not the first to think this.

the big point comes after my little spiel.. so, god tells noah to build an ark because he has a lot of killing of the wicked to do and only noah and his family seem to be good enough.

Cagefighter

Actually there are 13 lunars in a year.

71

Thinking of having revenge on the jw girl

by spirituk in

hello again, following my story with this girl , and after she blocked me on fb and not answering my phone calls since december , i am now thinking of taking revenge.my feelings of pain are starting to become hate ,and pain always is accompanied by the feeling of revenge to satisfy this bad feeling.i just cant simply forget what shes done to me.

the reasons of my revenge :.

1.she played with my feelings when she knew from the start that she would leave me one day.

Cagefighter

MrsJones- Remember when we got into an argument months ago about some guy getting lit up for being a "dangerous stalker"? I think we can agree on this one 'eh.

Spirituk- Seriously get some therapy this probably has something to do with your mother's afferction or lack there of as a kid. I am being serious, no sarcasm. It will help you grow a lot...This pain you feel is not her, it is something deep and dark in your past. She only triggered the pain and you are trying to stop the pain by hurting her and not the real source.

A good therapist will help you turn this into a growing experience. What county are you in?