i really need some good advice.. i have been dissasociated for 7 years--an ex:elder.
i have three children, none of them have spoken to me since i left other than my son saying that they would "welcome me back with open arms if i return, but until then they would have nothing to do with me".
this at the hospital bed where my mother (their grandmother) died less than a month later.. my middle daughter got married 2 years ago and for some strange reason i did not get an invitation.
Do what love dictates.
When our son got married (we were still drones) his wife invited her df'd dad by way of having the invitation show up the day of the wedding. Now I think of how cruel that was. He was her father, always dreaming of walking her down the isle. How sad.
Remember, it is their silly rules to shun people and you don't have to live by those rules. You can live by love.
Hugs,
Joy
btw, welcome to the board.
lately on this board there has been a couple of threads that show how much the watchtower is being effected by the open communication of the internet and web sites like this one.
they are changing long time policy and trying new ways of getting their religious product to the market.
no longer do their leaders hear the voice of god and then pass it directly on as unwavering guidance to their customers.
Amen
you are invited to attend a conference of former jws october 21-24 at 1835 n. western in wenatchee wa 98801. this is an annual event organized by richard rawe and his associates.
richard is the exjw who's story was portrayed in the "good faith" off broadway play.
if you are like me the word conference conjures feeling associated the word convention.
BTTT
i remember that people could really get rude in the house-to-house-ministry.
some jw just shrugged their shoulders and imagines how this very person got destroyed in armageddon?
others covered it with "love": people are unknowing and misled.
Good answer Mike! And to think you remember it after all these years.
Yes, I would say I took it personally. I would have to tell myself that they weren't rejecting me, but Jehovah?. *smile* That was one thing that amazed me in dealing with people. They were generally kind and willing to help. Approach their door with a flat tire and you'll see a totally different person. Approach their door as a JW and then Satan? comes out.
I was really uncomfortable with all the JW's sayings in responce: "I'm sorry your Catholic, too" "You'll see when Armegedon? comes", "I get dibs on this house in the New System?", etc, etc, etc.
*trying so hard to remember the dub stuff, it is really fading, yeah!!!*
Joy
well, folks, this will be my last post here on the board.
it?s only been a short time but i feel i?ve gotten what i needed and now its time to move on.
thank you all very much for your support these last couple of months; they?ve been monumental and necessary but extremely rough as well.
doogie,
I love your attitude. You are absolutely right, move on with your life.
The encouragement you give to stay to help others is right on, imho. If someone wasn't here while I was existing, I wouldn't have gotten the help/encouragement/support that I needed. I feel like I got a helping hand so I stay to help others while they leave and support them through the grief process.
Enjoy the rest of your life.
Joy
ok, this is my first post.
i'm 30 years old.
raised in "the truth" my whole life.
Welcome to the board, 2evil.
First of all let me reassure you that your questions are very normal and ones I have had. (I would like to say most of us have but I'm not speaking anyone else anymore.)
You are at an awakening stage. Or call it a crisis of conscience stage. I understand with your background (raised a JW) you would understandably want x-Elders to give you answers. One of the hardest things you are going to discover is that you have to find the answers.
Many people here will offer wonderful suggestions, ie read CoC, etc, etc, etc. Yes there is plenty of material out there to learn the truth about the Watchtower Organization. But along the way you will learn about yourself, humans in general and wherever else your questions will lead you. Don't be afraid of information. But be afraid of people who hide information, or hide from information or restrict others to learn.
I wish I could tell you with simple answers what your future will be, but it is up to you. I found wonderful support and great friends from this board. Hopefully you will too as you learn and grow as a human.
Yes, start with Crisis of Conscience, or Penton's book or Carl Olof Jonnson's books and I also recommend True Beliver by Eric Hoffer, if you want to understand the sociology of mass movements. Take time to review old threads here on recommended readings. Good stuff has been suggested and written here.
Take it slow. Waking up is a process that needs to be done slowly and recognize all the emotions and turmoil that go with it.
Keep us posted on how you are doing and if you have more questions.
Hugs,
Joy
i just talked to joy and she said to tell everyone they are fine.
they lost electricity so can't get on computers.. tornadoes came through awhile ago and killed two people, but they are doing fine, and have 5 strong young fellows, with them, to help when things get too bad later tonight.
the water is now in their yard, on the yard side of the picket fence, for those who have been there.
Things can be replaced eventually.
Friends cannot
Amen
i just talked to joy and she said to tell everyone they are fine.
they lost electricity so can't get on computers.. tornadoes came through awhile ago and killed two people, but they are doing fine, and have 5 strong young fellows, with them, to help when things get too bad later tonight.
the water is now in their yard, on the yard side of the picket fence, for those who have been there.
*posting from work*
Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone one who wished us well and those who thought about it.
We are fine. The beach is not pretty. The winds finally died down this morning and the waves are back to "normal". Only about 2 feet. If and when we get our electricity back, we'll post pictures of the how lovely the beach is now and how close the water came up to our place. The pool next door got filled with ugly brown/green ocean water. So those who've been to our place will know how close the water came in.
The tornado the went through PCB was 2 miles from us. It was very sad to hear of the casualty from it. Because of the damage from that tornado we'll be without electricity, phone and *gasp* internet for who know's when. They say weeks.
Dave asked "That's good. Now tell us the important stuff, how's the boat?" I don't want to talk about that. Remember, it is a thing and can be replaced.
Hugs to all of you, we'll stay in touch.
Joy
my name is nigel.i am 50,married with five kids,early teens to late 20,s.i live in the bush in australia.i have cruised this site for a couple of months & feel comfortable enough to talk now.those of you who were long term jw,s will understand that.only my direct family know what i am about to tell.i have never told anyone else as they would not understand.i was born a jw in the u.k. and some of my first memories are of going door to door.i was scalded when i was 4 & i remember some brothers coming to see me.my parents emigrated when i was 13 as my dad didn,t get on with the inlaws.my dad drank a bit at home at home & was violent.it was never spoken about outside of the family and at 15 i left home.i was the eldest of four.i continued to go to meetings,lived on my own & learnt a trade.at 20 i married a good jw girl as was expected & became a regular pioneer.i was a good public speaker & as far as the congregation was concerned had a bright future.i believed in what i was doing as it was what i had been taught.when i was 22 we had a baby & was witnessing one sunday morning & was involved in a head on car accident in a 60mph zone.my wife & son were minor injured but i was lucky to survive.i had many bone fractures & head injuries & i did not know who i was,what had happened,nor recognize my wife or child for 3 months.i was in hospital for 6 months.i was unable to do anything for a year.by this time i was in financial difficulty & due to this & my mental state grabbed what i could get in court,which was not much.during this time no one helped...no one.i continued to go to the meetings but my heart was gone & the downhill slide had started.over the next 7 to 8 years i worked a normal job but started to drink & by mid 80s was not attending meetings.my wife was a good jw & did not understand my feelings.although i had much respect for her & still do,by this stage we had 3 kids,& there was a chasm between us.i knew that i was affecting my wife but she would never divorce me.so i figured the best way was to give them all the reason not to want me around.i was called to the meeting & i told the elders how i felt & that even i did not know why.disfellowshiped.fair enough.we divorced late 80s.she married an elder.i married a so say worldly person.about 3 or 4 years later my new wife & i had 2 kids & were getting along fine.i had started talking to dad but i did not want to go back to meetings.my dad was disfellowshiped for smoking & could not give it up.he became ill & very depressed.he overdosed on anti depressants.my mum knew what he had done & left him on the floor for 24 hours before calling an ambo.she rang me when he was dead.i don,t talk to her any more.she remains a jw.no comment.my sisters are jw,s.
nobody talks anymore but.three weeks after dad died my brother had a lot of problems,financial,legal & grief.he was only 29.he shot himself.i buried two in three weeks.and so began a new chapter in my life...violence.and baby wasn,t i good at it.i king hit everyone within arms length for a year.didn,t lose a fight,the anger was immense.did the maximum weekend detention,lost my job,my second wife took the kids & went.
understandable.i held a gun in my mouth so hard i bled for two days.but i couldn,t do it.i love my present wife & kids & i believed that jehovah would understand & forgive me when i die.i did my best with what i was given.from that day i never looked back.i fixed it up with my wife & we get on great.my three oldest kids to my 1st wife are jw,s but i see a bit of them.my wife now hasn,t much time for religion.understandable.she is a nurse.i don,t work any more.i still look outside & appreciate what god has done for us but i don,t need other people to feel that.too much damage done.i don,t slag the witnesses nor the wts.their business what they do.i just don,t agree with the procedure of df,s and the climate of fear & guilt.i have seen much & will contribute where i can.you seem like a decent bunch.good luck to you all.nigel
Welcome to the board, Nigel.
Glad you find us "a decent bunch". Hope you can stay and heal or joke around with us, too.
Joy
.
just wanted to let these great people know that i'm thinking of them and hoping they stay safe.. .
bdf
Are vehicles allowed to drive on the beach there where you live?With a permit. You know those guys who do the beach chairs, beach patrol (lazy, huh, to drive up and down the beach). But no driving today.
Watch out for Jeanne
12:45 CDT, water only to the fence still with the bigger waves. Raining now.
Joy
