OK, this is my first post. I'm 30 years old. Raised in "the truth" my whole life. I have ALWAYS had doubts. I'm very, very confused right now. Not sure about the organization. I believe in Jehovah. I belive the witnesses got a lot of things right. I don't believe in hellfire, the trinity, imortality of the human soul, etc. BUT, the generation change in 1995 hit me hard. I have never been a "strong" witness in my adult life. No one at work really knows I go to the hall, I rarely go in service, we rarely have a family study, etc. I am maried with two kids. My wife, also my age and also raised in the truth believes everything they say. She knows I have doubts and refuses to discuss these issues with me. I've gotten the "you sound like an apostate" comment on more than one occassion and she says that it kills her that she can never have what she wants since I'm so weak and can't get past my doubts. I love my family. I don't want to lose them. My wife would never look at this board, read "questionable" material or like I said, discuss any doubts. Like I said, I'm confused. I've heard so many experiences about the holy spirit working within various congregations, in elders meetings, in the ministry etc. I don't want to get this wrong and destroy my family's life or my children's chance for everlasting life. There are some things we can't deny: The preaching work is being accomplished. The organization cannot be stopped. Nearly every language is covered. Morales are in decay. Things have gone from bad to worse. Frankly, the NGO issue is minor in mind. They joined the public information office, NOT the UN. I think it's grasping. Sure their reason sounds weak but no credible alterier motive has been identified as far as I can see. The generation change, the biggest in my lifetime, is huge, however. I'd like to hear mostly from former elders. What made you SURE this was not the truth? Do you ever think you made the wrong choice? What about signs that the HS is working in the organization or congregation? Do certain experiences from the past bother you and make you reconsider your conclusions? What about COs or DOs? Have any of them left recently? Why or why not? You would think that they "see" more and would leave regularly. What about members of the writing commitee. Any of those left lately? Some brothers just seem so strong and inteligent. Makes me doubt that they could be so wrong. Sorry. I'm rambling...
Questions
by 2evil 65 Replies latest jw friends
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dorothy
I'm not an ex-elder or anything (being a woman and all) but I urge you to read Crisis of Conscience.
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Beans
Welcome to the forum and enjoy the research and real truths you will uncover!
Beans
Canadian District Overbeer
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Gadget
Welcome to the board 2evil.
What about signs that the HS is working in the organization or congregation?
What sort of signs do you mean? I had a similar sort of backround to you, always having doubts as I was growing up. The biggest thing that made me think was no matter what happened it was spun to show how it meant the jw's were right, and also the high level of control over the individuals life. Have a read of some of the topics in the 'best of' section, and see if some of these answer your question.
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kls
Welcome 2evil. Let's try and break this down a little. So all knowing and knowledgeable people here can answer your questions.
I don't know how long you have been lurking but there are so many that have to same questions and problems as you and many here are married to JWS ,me for one. -
Nosferatu
I urge you to read Crisis of Conscience.
I second this. Crisis of Conscience is written by a former Governing Body member, Raymond Franz.
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2evil
Sorry I was so vague. Kind of a stream of consciousness type thing I guess. By signs I mean comments I've heard from elders: "boy things really come out in JC meetings" you can see the hs working. BTW, I forgot to mention that my parents have been in the truth forever. My dad is a PO in another state and my mother is one of the annointed. He was never a PO when I was growing up, but always an elder. I love him and he is probably the best human I've ever known.He wants to only do good and believes whole heartedly that he is. My parent know I have doubts and are very worried about me. I think the generation change shook them a little but as my dad always sys "where else would you go?". He says he "wouldn't feel comfortable anywhere else." I'm a low hour publisher who just doesn't buy it anymore. When you look at the scheme of things, I'm a big disappointment.
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kls
You are not a disappointment so get that out of your head. You are opening your eyes and mind to what the WT really is.
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2evil
I have never read crisis of conscience, but have read a lot about it. I remember when all of this happened in the 80s (vaguly, I was only a kid) and I'm sure I will read it. When I can sneak it somehow. Is Ray Franz still alive? What gets me is do the governing body still believe that this is the chosen organization? Do the "higher ups" still believe? I wonder how carefully the internet traffic from bethel is watched. They should probably block this site. What is happening internally now? It's been 20+ years since Franz...
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kls
Yes Ray Franz is still alive and just for your info . This site is monitored by the WT so just be careful what info you give.