Funny . . . yet sad really. You did a great job at making him think! Sometimes that's all we can do. Certainly throws them for a loop when the script goes differently than on the platform!
Posts by Hadit
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34Is this how all door knocking is now?
by jamesmahon ini was prompted to join this site as i got a knock on the door a couple of days ago.. no, when i went door knocking 20 years ago - although admittedly i was a child - the sales patter went like this.
ahem... "hello.
we are speaking to you today to tell you about the watchtower and awake.
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21
My 'cross to bear' so to speak
by Aussie Oz innothing in life is free... not even freedom.
it's the weekend for my kids to come down and it seems dear old dad just aint that important anymore.... son who now has his licence has left school to work (i found out on facebook) and seems to be too busy, daughter has a party (with j dubs) she wants to go to saturday night.
of course the mother is delighted by this...as they are a two hour drive away it just stuffs up the whole weekend really.
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Hadit
I'm sorry - it really does suck, but hang in there! I have a teen with one parent out (me) and my husband still in. My son doesn't want to be with either of us all that much. At first I thought it was me because I'm the one who isn't on the right path but it's his dad as well. They need to find their own path. All we can do is be there for them, support them and give them unconditional love. We can help them to think and to question and to pay attention to what they see around them.
It's a tough job for sure and very worrisome. Especially when we want them as far away from that cult as possible.
All the best to you and your kids!
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11
another song book fast one
by elderelite inthis one is not as bad as some others but notice the new wording in the last vs ... .
first the old song book... *** ssb song 15 life without endat last!
paradise all will enjoy.
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Hadit
You only live forever in paradise if you remain obedient and do not EVER sin. If you sin then it is immediate cutting off. Of course the 144,000 have immortality! Not elitist in any way - not impartial of God at all. So yes, long as we live would be correct in their eyes. They are disgusting.
Oh and 10West - welcome to the forum!
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21
How would the diehard witnesses view this ?
by man in black inthis video was sent to me earlier today, and it really hit a nerve with me,,,,, i just couldn't stop applying it to the witness belief of df and da.. i've known quite a few witness parents over the years who just left their kids "on the roadside" because they no longer.
wanted to be a part of this religion.. why is it that genuine human reaction/emotion is dropped when children no longer want to be a jw ?.
this father seems to be quite a guy, notice how he yells at the security/medical person near the end no doubt to leave his son alone !.
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Hadit
Whew - that certainly was intense and cry I did! I cried for all the children whose parents abandoned them for this religion. I wonder how different this story would have been had the father been an active witness and the son disfellowshipped or an apostate. Would the father have helped his son? Would the father even have attended the event?
I'm not sure the diehard witnesses would get this. The WTS is trying to kill any semblance of family bonding and love that people have.
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45
Studying my faith away
by the-illuminator81 ini want to introduce myself.
i'm a 28 year old active, married jw from belgium.
in the preceding months (i'd say starting from about march) i've been slowly losing my faith.
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Hadit
Welcome! So glad you did your studying. Truth sure has a way of coming out doesn't it? Only you know all your circumstance so you have to do what is right for you. As mentioned above - please plan a bit first though so that you have an action plan of some sort. Once you come out it is hard to back track. As for telling your father - I did the same and he outed me in a heartbeat as did a friend. It was really hard to back track at that point. I am trying to fade but it is hard with a believing spouse. That is a whole other world of problems. The WTS is out to destroy families in order to keep as many people in as possible. They are ruthless and unloving - EVIL.
You've come to a great place for support and ideas. I wish you and your family all the best!
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25
My Story - Abbreviated but still way too long
by jamesmahon inas i have enjoyed reading everyone elses biogs here i thought it was about time that i put my own down.
i have thought about why i want to do this and whilst i can pretend it is for the better good and it will act as a warning for others thinking of joining the witnesses, actually i think it is because i think it is just because it makes an interesting story and as will become apparent a good part of my life i had to live a lie and i now find it really liberating just to be really open with everyone.. i also thought about how to write it.
was tempted to write it to the tune of the fresh prince but thought that might get a bit tough after about verse 38. then wondered whether i should do it in the style of one of those biography pieces in the awake but that would involve reading an awake to mimic the style and just couldnt be bothered.
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Hadit
James
Your comment didn't come across as arrogant to me at all. As for the resilient core - I've ALWAYS felt it. Even as a very young child I have memories of it. As I got older I attributed to my intense stubborness. However, it goes much deeper than just stubborn - it's a 'knowing' that is just there. I do believe we all have it but perhaps some people ignore it or don't know how to describe it. I think it is what gets most people through the most horrific adversities and allows them to triumph. I'm glad we have it though - I don't know where many of us would be if we didn't. I hope we are successful in bringing that out in our children. As far as I'm concerned they are one step ahead because we shed the conditional love of the WTS and can show them that our love for them is unconditional.
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25
My Story - Abbreviated but still way too long
by jamesmahon inas i have enjoyed reading everyone elses biogs here i thought it was about time that i put my own down.
i have thought about why i want to do this and whilst i can pretend it is for the better good and it will act as a warning for others thinking of joining the witnesses, actually i think it is because i think it is just because it makes an interesting story and as will become apparent a good part of my life i had to live a lie and i now find it really liberating just to be really open with everyone.. i also thought about how to write it.
was tempted to write it to the tune of the fresh prince but thought that might get a bit tough after about verse 38. then wondered whether i should do it in the style of one of those biography pieces in the awake but that would involve reading an awake to mimic the style and just couldnt be bothered.
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Hadit
Welcome Jamesmahon! Wow - thank you for sharing your story. Seeing people go through all that and coming out a decent human being is encouraging.
I worked out when I was a child that you often don't have a choice about what happens but you always have a choice in how you react to things.
Very profound realization for a child! I'm sure that it has served you well in your life. I wish I would have come to that realization as a child.
it is like a steel core inside you that stops you getting too low and will not let you be beaten.
That struck a chord with me as I feel the same thing. Something inside that says I'm worth something and nobody is going to take it away. Some times in life we have to have only ourselves to rely on and this helps us get through them.
I am very happy that you have a supportive wife and children who are free of this religion and are loved.
I wish you and your family all the best.
Hadit
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15
How to have "The Talk" with my nephew
by serenitynow! innot sex.
my sister is taking care of the sex and condoms talk, thank goodness.. my only nephew (and likely the closest i will get to having a kid) turns 16 next month.
his mom is inactive, doesn't know if she is going back.
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Hadit
I am in the same situation except it's my son and he is 16 as well. His dad is still in and I'm trying to help my son see. I am in agreement with Oz and jwfacts. I would not get into the cult stuff, at least not yet. Only over time. I am slowly and methodically planting little seeds of doubt "do you think it's loving when . . . do you agree with . . . what is your opinion on . . ." Not usually referencing the WTS but I know he makes the connection. Like Oz I am also trying to get him to think. I have repeatedly been pointing out how gullible people can be and then saying "whenever you read something or hear something - NEVER automatically believe it - use your mind and your own filters to see if it makes sense and look around you to see if it is true in the real world." I desperately want him to think for himself.
I'm also subtly encouraging him to make friends who are not witnesses. I've put him in music camps/football and encouraged him to keep in touch with the kids. This way he sees for himself that other kids are not Satan and that there are great and caring people outside of the org. I think it can be a scary thought for teenagers to think that if they leave there will be no one as they are all Satanic and that they will be alone. This type of thinking forces them to want to stay. If he sees options then it looks more appealing. Kids need appealing - especially teenagers!
Another thing I have done is I've went to his principal and explained that I've just left a cult and that my son is still in and is there any help I could get through the school or his curriculum that would help him in his critical thinking skills. I've also talked to a few parents from his music camp and told them what is going on. Everyone is willing to help out. So much for the unloving worldly people! Such BS. Outside help is good because sometimes comments from others are taken easier than from a parent. Especially a parent who has been flagged as an apostate.
Whew! I'm sorry - this ended up being really long. I hope it helps. You sound like an awesome aunt! Your nephew is lucky to have you. And way to go on paying for his college! Commendable.
I wish you and your family all the best! Good luck
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12
Greetings!
by Merkaba ini am a twenty-eight year old ex-witness.
at the age of fifteen i had developed an alcohol and drug problem mainly due to my dysfunctional upbringing.
my parents were divorced at a young age causing my mother to run to the witnesses for emotional support and fellowship during a trying time.
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Hadit
That is a very nice sentiment! Thank you! Love and care are almost foreign entities to us aren't they? Not anymore!
I'm sorry I forgot to add the second book recommendation (the other one should be read first) - it's by the same author - In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Close Encounters with Addiction. It delves into the whys of addiction and offers suggestions for healing. It is no wonder many young people in this org are dealing with their issues and feelings of inadequacy and a lack of love through addiction. It's heartbreaking.
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12
Greetings!
by Merkaba ini am a twenty-eight year old ex-witness.
at the age of fifteen i had developed an alcohol and drug problem mainly due to my dysfunctional upbringing.
my parents were divorced at a young age causing my mother to run to the witnesses for emotional support and fellowship during a trying time.
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Hadit
Welcome Merkaba! Thank you for sharing your story - not an easy thing to do. Oh my - what a life you've had! I'm so sorry for all the pain and, like you said, trauma. What saddens me most is your relationship with your mother. This organization is so utterly sick that it tears children away from their parents! Disgusting! How awful what you went through. My son is 16 and I could not imagine him having to fend for his own and going through all that. I'm sure prison was not the best place to be but I'm sure glad that man helped you see the truth for what it was.
You now need to take good care of yourself. A couple of books that may help with the healing process are: When the Body Says No - the Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Mate, MD. It helps you to understand why you do the things you do and it offers many suggestions on how to get control over your life. It has great bearing on witnesses because we lose our self-esteem and individuality and that causes many emotional and physical problems - including addictions. I highly recommend it.
There are great people on here with lots of insight that will be able to help you. There are many other books and I'm sure the others will put their recommendations in too. Vent away and share the journey to healing.
I wish you all the very best!
Hadit