Posts by ambersun

8

Was it hard for you as a JW to be around girls or boys?

by suavojr in

jw
friends

this picture brings back some memories.... .

what happens when a 14 year old boy gets bombarded about how evil it is to feel a natural attraction towards the opposite sex?.

first - you encounter the robot from lost in space, yelling danger, danger!.

ambersun

Up until the age of 14 my family had not been influenced by the WTS and I was used to having freedom in choosing my friends which included boys as well as girls. I was naturally friendly and chatty, and I was a normal teenage girl with a healthy interest in boys, who loved male company and the boys I knew enjoyed my company also! I hasten to add this did NOT mean I wanted to have sex with them, I was only 14 for goodness sake and in or out of the organisation I would not have been anywhere near ready for that kind of relationship.

I could not change my personality overnight when we became JWs. I tended to go up to anyone and start chatting to them, but I got into a lot of trouble for making friends with the boys and being accused of "leading them on". It came as a shock to me that girls simply did not talk to the boys in the congregation unless they were looking for a marriage partner. I was told that platonic friendships between the sexes simply did not exist and the dangers of fornication or adultery meant that males and females of any age should never be alone together. I found all this very strange and difficult to deal with, especially when I saw elderly sisters unable to accept lifts from brothers or allow them into their homes if they were on their own. They seemed to be preoccupied with sex. It was ridiculous!!

This continued to be a problem for me throughout my teenage years. I was kept under strict control by my devout JW parents who vetted all my friendships but I still seemed to get a reputation for leading the boys on. Elderly sisters in the congregation were always muttering and tutting about me. All I wanted to do was be FRIENDS with them for crying out loud

Having said that, I have noticed that these days things tend to be very different, at least in the congregations my nephews and nieces attend. They all seem to be allowed to have platonic friendships between the sexes which I am delighted to see.

9

Is it true?

by mouthy in

jw
friends

is jwn going on facebook????

if so i will have to say goodbye...would someone let me know please.

ambersun

Oh mouthy, it makes me so sad reading that. Love and hugs to you xxx

39

What Are "Unfair" Things JWs Made You Do?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i was thinking how unnatural it is for most people to knock on stranger's doors and tell them that if they don't respond to what they were trying to get across, that they were going to be killed by god.

.....then there's the obligation to join the theocratic ministry school and go on a platform and give talks---even if you had a phobia!

.....or you're made to feel that you must answer at the meetings even if you're extremely shy.....are there other things that you can think of that made you totally uncomfortable?

ambersun

Yes, I can relate to most of the above.

Also, at the age of 14 having to go to the head teacher and tell her I needed to be excused from school assemblies as I had become a Jehovah's Witness. I can still see the look on her face to this day!. The stupid thing was, I was put in with the Catholic pupils while assembly was going on as they didn't know what else to do with me. I never told my parents about that lol.

Then, having to tell my friends I could no longer join in Birthday celebrations or any other 'worldy' activities. I was the only JW in the entire school so I stood out like a sore thumb and was ridiculed and felt isolated, yet I was expected to use every opportunity to bring out Watchtower literature and witness to them all. I can remember hating the GB for dishing out all these rules and thinking, even back then, that they had absolutely no idea what it was like to be the only JW teenager in a school, or if they DID know, they were just down right cruel!

As if all that wasn't enough, all my friends, even from within the congregation, had to be vetted. The phrase "bad associations spoil useful habits" was repeated continually like a stuck record. I watched while other youngsters had fun, going out together at weekends but I was only allowed to associate with spiritual (usually boring, nerdy) sisters of my own age. Pop music was banned as it was evil.

Oh, happy days

3

Alternative Watchtower

by jonno12225 in

jw
friends

heres a thought expereiment.. what do you think the watchtower would be like if it had started in europe instead of america.. in europe at the time of the 1800's you had an interesting period of social, political and scientific change.

womens rights movenment were making strides in bettering their standing in society.

many religious institutions welcomed darwins explanation of evolution over time.. how do you think this back drop would have influenced the religions precursers and founders?

ambersun

Very interesting point. Personally, and in line with everything you said about life in Europe in the 1800s compared to America and how these factors would have influenced people at the time, I think the ideals and doctrines of the Watchtower could ONLY have come from America. Also, Russell and especially Rutherford were flamboyant outgoing characters with powerful public speaking voices that you could not easily ignore. The British psyche was totally different at that time. We as a nation were far more reserved. Anything coming out of America was exciting and intriguing to many over this side of the pond, which would have made it attractive and fashionable. I doubt it would have taken off if it had been the other way round.

119

How many of you followed the WTS direction on education years ago and have been screwed by it?

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

i'm really interested in this question because i've heard for years that if you forgo further education and go pioneering, when you have a family down the track you will get a good job because jehovah will provide for you because you pioneered.

as long as i was a kool-aid drinker, even then, i thought, "how does pioneering pay your bills?

surely education should come first.

ambersun

I was another one, well and truly screwed. I started out as a normal teenager in the 1960s with parents who believed in higher education and wanted good careers for me and my sisters. I attended a good grammar school and had everything going for me. Then my parents got converted and by the time I was 15 everything had changed. There was no point even thinking about universaty as armageddon was going to come before I had chance to finish the course. By the time I was 18 I should have been at university studying for a degree, but instead I was out knocking doors as a full time pioneer with a part time cleaning job. Thanks WTS, I hope you are really pleased with yourselves the way you screwed us all over

33

IMPROMPTU APOSTAFEST in DFW area this Sunday Feb 24 1pm

by Terry in

jw
friends

sorry for the late notice.. this is an informal get together.

barbecue and beverages guaranteed.

all else you bring yourself.. .

ambersun

I am on the other side of the pond so can't make it . I hope someone takes videos to put on utube so at least those of us who can't come can feel part of it by watching the videos

29

Have you ever shunned someone and then later regretted it?

by 00DAD in

lately, i've been reading a number of thread lately that deal with this topic.

one particularly poignant experience came from simon.

in simon's story he shares: .

ambersun

My earliest memory of meetings involved being forced to shun a girl of 16 who was sitting all alone struggling to care for a tiny baby. Her father was horrible and was the one who forced me to stay away from her. It was absolutely awful and I still feel upset about it to this day. We were attending the congregation of the man who introduced my father to 'The Truth' which was not local to us, so it was years later when I actually saw that poor girl again. She had been reinstated by then but I don't know what sort of life she had or if she found happiness. Things like that tend to haunt you, don't they .

My second memory is having to shun a friend who was disfellowshipped for smoking. I saw him at a congregation wedding (I think the bride was his sister) and he was just standing outside the entrance to the KH being shunned by everyone. I had to admire his nerve as he just calmly lit up and stood there smoking and staring at everyone going past him with their noses in the air. I tried to pretend I hadn't seen him but I was extremely uncomfortable and felt how evil and wrong it was to treat someone like that.

I vowed I would never treat anyone like that again whoever was watching me, and the next time me and hubby bumped into a disfellowshipped brother in a pub we both went out of our way to go up to him and say how lovely it was to see him and asked him how he was. We spent a couple of happy hours chatting and catching up with each others' news. He told us he had met a lovely woman who he had settled down with and was making a new life for himself. I am so glad we took the time to be kind to him. Me and hubby were both still active JWs at the time, and it felt absolutely great!

25

I don't know if this is already posted

by mouthy in

please for give me if it is.

i just received a call from an ex jw who was df the same time as me.. for not accepting 1914..... she picked up the wt at the library,jan 1st 2013 page 8 they there .

admit they have made errors in the dates they have given.....maybe this is why so many are leaving.. they told us that 1914 born folks would see armegeddon .i was born in 1927...i am 86 in may????.

ambersun

So the WTS are now having to admit that they were wrong about 1914. Surely you are owed a huge apology from them for disfellowshipping you, mouthy! This is disgraceful, especially since you are still being shunned by your family for daring to doubt a belief that is now being proved to be wrong. This makes me so angry

64

I'm new, please come and meet me!

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

long time lurker, first time poster.

i'm really glad i can join your community because i've been in the wts for the last 14 years and now i'm on my way out and it's great to meet like-minded people!.

about me: i started learning jw ways when i was in my teens.

ambersun

Hi Julia, a big welcome to you from England. It's lovely to have you aboard

44

When some of the old time JW's time is up i wonder what they think in their private moments.

by karter in

we had an old time jw pass away recently he lived his entire life lie the new system was going to be here tomorrow.. he was a gillard grad and went on to be missionry in west africa.. came back home when wife got pregent(they eventuly had 3 children) ,sold everything pre 75 to see the system out and pioneer then had to work his butt off to rebuild his finances and put a roof over his familys head.. he retired and became a co till his wifes health could no longer alow it.. he got a treminal illness and i wonder in his quiter moments did he think ....".ive lived my entire life for a dream that never came true".

he's only one of many i see,their lives comming to an end and the new system is no closer than it was when they started.. .

karter..

ambersun

Way back in the '60s I remember an elderly couple of the 'remnant' who had been in the organisation since its early days. They had put off having children when they married in the 1920s in order to devote all their time and efforts into the preaching work in the firm belief that armageddon was imminent and there would be plenty of time to have a family in the New System. They were a lovely couple and would have made wonderful parents. I can remember thinking what a waste it was. They were really kind to me and had a lot of patience for us youngsters, I think they enjoyed being surrogate grandparents. One day when I was visiting them, the elderly brother admitted to me how sad he was that his wife had never had the children she longed for, and still held on desperately to the hope that armageddon would come before they died of old age so there was still a remote chance of fulfilling their dreams of a family. I wonder how they both felt when they drew their last breaths, and to think that was back in the 1960s!

Since then two more generations of elderly JWs have watched their dreams slip away as they die of old age. When I think back to my congregation when I was a teenager, practically everyone of my parents generation who were only in their 30s/40s and full of anticipation, many selling their homes and giving up jobs in order to pioneer during the 'last days' are now dead. My father died in the mid 1980s and my now elderly mother repeatedly says that she can't believe she has lived so long without him (in other words, she can't believe armageddon hasn't come yet). She is still as faithful as ever, attending meetings whenever her health allows and having brothers come to her house with their bible studies and to study the Watchtower there so she can join in, yet I know she is very disappointed the way things have turned out.

My mother in law became extremely bitter in her last years. She continued gong to meetings but she had actually said back in ther 1980s that if armageddon didn't come soon it would be 'the biggest con of the century'. Her exact words! She died in her '90s still attending meetings but her zest for 'the truth' had long gone.

Yet still they carry on, generation after generation of disappointed people wasting their lives chasing that carrot on a stick. When will it ever end