Posts by Thetis

42

How well do you sleep?

by Lozhasleft in

jw
friends

for years i've been pretty good at getting a good night's sleep.

a couple of pages of my book and i'm away til morning, apart from the odd bladder brigade journey.

however, suddenly, after our house move, i am having just an awful time of it.

I've always been a chronic insomniac - waking up at about 3am. However, it got worse when we moved close to the sea - the sound of the crashing waves drove me crazy for a while - until I got used to the sound.

These days, I alternate between natural tabs like Valerian, Biral, lavender spray for my pillow.....also find that autogenic training is quite effective - slowly letting my body get heavier and heavier.....if all else fails, I log on and read what you are all saying...chuckle..

An alternative therapist once suggested Gaba and Melatonin but if you are on an anti-depressant, you also have to be careful of any interactions....often thought of weed, but would probably get arrested in my country...

Hope you resolve this soon....it really does undermine your ability to cope....

25

How can I get past the anger?

by Rocky_Girl in

jw
friends

i have gotten through so much of the anger i felt toward my parents for their part in my screwed up childhood.

i know they were just doing what they thought was right.

but now, as i celebrate holy and special days with my children i feel a new anger because i cannot give them the big family celebration they deserve.

Thetis

Anger has also been a huge issue for me and it's so damaging to one. After seeing quite a few therapists, who helped me establish why I felt this way, I felt that I needed someone to give me advice on how to let go. I am now seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist. I've only been twice but can already see results.

9

Religious guilt puts brakes on sex lives

by Thetis in

article in our local paper stating that atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.. a study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences..... then went on to say that strict religions such as mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt.

their average score was 8.19 out of 10. they were followed closely by jehovah's witnesses, pentecostals, seventh day adventists and baptists.

interesting that catholics scored 6.34.. this article brought back memories for me as a newly married jw.

Thetis

Thanks for the link BP. I am a continent away and I see they stole that article. The other article I mentioned was written by a local reporter.

Mr M, they are extremely intrusive and it's incredible that we have accepted this. A friend who is still a JW was recently telling me about an elder who called on her about 20 years ago to ask whether she was engaging in oral sex as she was married to a "worldly guy" - and let's face it, these worldly men are perverted you know. I asked her whether she thought it strange that he would call on her alone.... said she did find it odd but he is an Elder (All Elders are eunuchs I guess), however she was extremely embarrassed and this was the first time she had mentioned this incident to anyone.

How many of us have experienced incidences like this and yet we refused to acknowledge that this wasn't normal behaviour.

I digress but a young girl who left the org. cited this particular elder as the reason she had left. Maintained he had stumbled her because he had made advances towards her. Of course nobody believed her. In hindsight, I wonder.

On the other side of the coin, can you imagine what the elders must have gone through listening to sisters who ran to them with every trivial detail.

9

Religious guilt puts brakes on sex lives

by Thetis in

article in our local paper stating that atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.. a study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences..... then went on to say that strict religions such as mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt.

their average score was 8.19 out of 10. they were followed closely by jehovah's witnesses, pentecostals, seventh day adventists and baptists.

interesting that catholics scored 6.34.. this article brought back memories for me as a newly married jw.

Thetis

Oz, once my scanner is repaired, will gladly post or get someone to do it for me. Found it surprising that 2 articles were written in our normally conservative paper - within a month apart. The second one discussed the fact that far from being the purveyors of unconditional love and acceptance, organised religion often comes with a rather large asterisk. Then goes on to say that even within the broad confines of Christianity, multiple sects and fringes have their own holy cows, so to speak......Mormonism demands that we subscribe - in theory as well as in practice - to the fact that men are superior to women in every way, while virtually every denomination, from the Baptists all the way through to the Jehovah's Witnesses, believe that God takes a very keen, very stern interest in who you love, how you love them and what happens behind your bedroom door at night....this asterisk of God's love and acceptance, as interpreted by a group of elders or religious leaders.....

LouBelle, I know what you mean, although it's always a work in progress - getting rid of these feelings of guilt. The sad thing is that it's not good guilt - happy that you have embraced your sexuality!

9

Religious guilt puts brakes on sex lives

by Thetis in

article in our local paper stating that atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.. a study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences..... then went on to say that strict religions such as mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt.

their average score was 8.19 out of 10. they were followed closely by jehovah's witnesses, pentecostals, seventh day adventists and baptists.

interesting that catholics scored 6.34.. this article brought back memories for me as a newly married jw.

Thetis

Article in our local paper stating that Atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.

A study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences....

Then went on to say that strict religions such as Mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt. Their average score was 8.19 out of 10. They were followed closely by Jehovah's Witnesses, Pentecostals, Seventh Day Adventists and Baptists. Interesting that Catholics scored 6.34.

This article brought back memories for me as a newly married JW. I went to my GP (Jewish) and discussed among other things, that I felt so guilty about sex.... He misunderstood me and said ""just obey the 11th commandment"" - DONT GET CAUGHT....lol

I was riddled with guilt about fantasizing.....a woman needs a bit of help! I have come a long way since then.

127

Did I Have a Stroke?

by compound complex in

dear friends:.

is it just disorientation, getting old...?.

i awoke this morning and really did not know where i was.

Thetis

Hi Coco, as all the others have said - please don't play around. Recently my M.I.L. experienced almost the same symptoms as you described. She was talking to a friend and suddenly her speech became garbled. Although this episode was short (about 10 minutes) we took her to the emergency room that same night. She ended up staying in hospital for 2 weeks (as this was her second episode). Dr said this was her wake-up call. All is well now as she has been given meds to thin her blood. Please take care..

35

An Intro and apology.

by Slidin Fast in

jw
friends

i have been an avid reader on this site for a few years and have weighed in on a few topics and introduced a few more without introducing myself.

for this i apologise.

the main reason for my reticence is that being a second generation born in but having been baptised in the 50s i will find it difficult to make an introduction without giving the game away.

Thetis

I too haven't posted an intro - have been feeling so guilty about this. Same fear of being recognized by my story. Hope your journey continues in a way that benefits you....Thanks for posting yours.

24

Intro to my book "A Soul Shackled"

by AK - Jeff in

my earliest memories of the religion begin somewhere around the age of 4. i was at least three, because i recall leading the pack around the yard on an explore of some sort.

it was a hot summer day.

our small town was always quiet, and we saw few visitors at our home, for that matter even on our block, when i happened upon a large black four door sedan parked in the edge of our lawn as the streets in our town had no curbs and were narrow.

Thetis

Looking forward to reading your book. Very descriptive - the quiet town and the black four door sedan conveys something sinister....and it leaves one wanting more. Also, it's from your own perspective.

I'm a firm believer in "writing oneself into wellness" - even if it takes a lifetime.

63

Do You Blame Your Current Life's Issues Because You Were A JW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

do you tend to blame your problems on the fact that you were a jehovah's witness?.

Thetis

Yes, I do now and my therapist does. Initially I would never admit this as it would "bring reproach on the Organization".

My Mother just recently apologized for her not being there for me as a child. She had a nervous breakdown when I was very young. I told her that had they not been JW's, at least we could have had some normal interaction with the world - at least a refuge for us. JW Org is a destroyer of dreams and goals in my opinion.

Of course I am bitter, although I have realized that this bitterness was destroying me. And why give them that satisfaction.

Although you cannot look back, the difficulty is always being on the back foot. How do you make up those lost years? You are always behind in everything, as you have to retrain your mind first before you can take a step forward. To be an onlooker in life, isn't easy. Hell, I'm even to scared to get too close to most people, this being the reason for my hit and runs on this forum....chuckle...for which I apologize.

6

Awake Articles

by Ding in

i always used to wonder about those awake articles that had nothing to do with anything like, "interesting nutritional facts" or other articles that could have just as well appeared in the reader's digest.. can someone explain the purpose of those types of stories?.

the only thing i can see is that people at the door might be willing to look at them even if they wouldn't take the watchtower, thereby giving jws an excuse to make a backcall..

Thetis

As Lady Lee says, they are the hook in marketing. You could always think of someone who could benefit from articles that were relevant to them, such as my uncle with his problematic in growing toenail, or my neighbour with her cystitis etc. How could they refuse an answer to their problem?.. chuckle..