JW Facts -
I came across this poem by the Russian poet Yevtushenko as a beginning first year undergraduate. It really hit home with me. I had only just had my "Aha!" moment discovering the real truth about The Truth TM . I felt angry and betrayed that I had been lied to for so long by family, "friends" and the Society. I will never forget that time in my life, and this poem became part of that. The poem may be taken at face value (which I prefer), or it may be a more symbolic criticism or both. As the reader, I relate to it best when I take it at face value. I have copied that poem below in case you are interested in reading it, if you haven't already come across it.
At that time in my life, I couldn't imagine ever telling a child any kind of lie whatsoever or even withholding truth from them. As a parent, I have felt very strongly that my children deserve to be told the truth. Of course, this needs to be done in developmentally appropriate ways. And, as far as lies about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc., I have become a little less rigid and a bit more flexible.
I realize that these constructs are structured into our culture, into children's experiences at school, etc. At preschool or school, children cannot help but be exposed to these "lies." I decided, for a number of reasons, to go along with the Tooth Fairy, etc. These reasons were mainly for practicality and also because it's just plain fun for the kids.
I word(ed) things carefully. When asked about Santa being real, I might tell a four year old that he is "real in our hearts." As they continue to sort real life from fantasy as they grow, they realize pretty soon that you are wording things a certain way and what that means -- in fact, they will ask outright about it! One of my children is still young enough to "believe" and the others do not feel they were lied to. They even express appreciation for how it was handled. Bonus: by not raising a three or four year old to be a party pooper (telling everyone the Tooth Fairy and Santa aren't real -- we didn't make enemies with the other parents and families. Also, because of the way things were worded and handled, the kids figured things out by the time they asked outright. So there was no big upset over finding out that Santa isn't "real." It was just natural, comfortable and it worked for our family.
Good luck sorting through what you want to do. Here's the poem I mentioned above:
Lies
Telling lies to the young is wrong.
Proving to them that lies are true is wrong.
Telling them that God's in his heaven
and all's well with the world is wrong.
The young know what you mean. The young are people.
Tell them the difficulties can't be counted,
and let them see not only what will be
but see with clarity these present times.
Say obstacles exist they must encounter
Sorrow happens, hardship happens.
The hell with it. Who never knew
the price of happiness will not be happy.
Forgive no error you recognize,
it will repeat itself, increase,
and afterwards our pupils
will not forgive in us what we forgave.