Lying to children

jwfacts

Zac's first tooth just fell out, and so people are telling him that the tooth fairy will come with money. Zac asked me if the tooth fairy is real. I am at a loss as to what to say. I feel a repulsion to lie to him, yet know the importance of ritual and fantasy in a person's life.

I'm not sure if my hatred of lying is a personality thing, or related to a JW upbringing, or residual to my leaving the Watchtower and having been deceived throughout my life.

How do others handle tooth fairies with children?

paranoia agent

It's commercialised propaganda just like christmas, kids mind would be a lot more expanded if spoken to in an adult manner.

LisaRose

What is the harm? They grow up soon enough, and learn the world is a harsh place, let them have their childhood and believe in magic a little before that happens. I denied my children that joy, which I now regret.

Scully

Ask Zac what he thinks about the Tooth Fairy.

You can tell him "Some people say things are real when they're just pretending." Playing make believe can be fun, and a lot of parents like to play pretend with their kids. If you'd like to do that, it's okay.

The Thinking Atheist podcast had a great interview with Dale McGowan several weeks back on the topic of secular parenting - it would be worth spending 90 minutes or so to listen. McGowan is the author of Parenting Beyond Belief and has a website by the same name. Dale tells a great story about how his son figured out that Santa Claus was "the moms and dads!!" He allowed them to think about these questions on their own - understanding that the desire to believe will eventually be trumped by the need to know, and then goes further saying that these myths and allowing a child to work it out for himself is like a trial run for the myths that religions sell.

http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/podcasts

http://www.parentingbeyondbelief.com

jamiebowers

If the Tooth Fairy thing really bothers you, then tell your son the truth. What you say is not as important as how you say it. Why not just tell him that the Tooth Fairy story is the same as any fairytale, but it would be so much fun to pretend that it's real? The leave the money under his pillow, and let him have fun.

LisaRose

http://cheezburger.com/7029396992

The tooth fairy demands better working conditions

Comatose

I'd say, "I don't know? I've never seen her, but some people say she is real. Let's put your tooth under the pillow and see."

let him have that thrill of feeling magic is real. Soon enough real life will slap him up side the bead like it does all of Us.

Seraphim23

I wouldn’t worry about it too much because children are hard wired to believe in all sorts of fantasy figures and to see agency where none exists. Night mares in children it is believed is to do with protecting the child from the real monsters of evolutionary past. If they didn’t believe them it wouldn’t work as well if something nasty like a wolf did pop up. Also if kids see a dot on a computer screen following another they think the dots are alive. I think atheist or theist; most are not affected by the fairies belief of their childhood. I would just go with it because it balances out the darker nightmares of childhood.

paranoia agent

LisaRose : They have childhood and continue to do so regardless of this.

cult classic

Make believe and fantasy has its place in the development of kids. It's not a bad thing. Most kids will seek/figure out the truth in a reasonable time.

It's just that as JWs we were believing in a fantasy world for far too long.

Lying to children

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