I think it's a matter of accepting the situation for what it is. They have come to this decision and given you notice. What can you do, really? It is what it is. I DA'd in 90s. I've been shunned since then, except for "family business." I know I can't change them. So I accept the situation for what it is. It's a high control religion and can be very destructive to families. It sucks. But you can't change what you can't change. So sorry you are going through this.
laverite
JoinedPosts by laverite
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60
Rec'd a letter from my Dad - need some advice...
by Fadeaway3pointer infader here - last meeting was in autumn 2005. lurker on this site and others.
not one to get all controversial.. typical situation, pretty much a born in and left the church at age 38 and never looked back.. i'm 53 now, parents getting older - late 70s but very active, dad is still an elder.. parents, in laws, brother and brother-in-law still uber active jws.. my family (wife and 2 adult children) out since 2005.. we have stayed close to our parents - we have treaded religion lightly and have had a pretty good relationship and have kept our personal lives and beliefs/opinions separated from them.
this was intentional - as we love them and do not want anything to cause shunning since they are getting older and want to be there for them and we respect their beliefs.. got this letter today.
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What is wrong with Hollyweird?
by LoveUniHateExams inso, the trailer for the new batwoman series was released a few days ago.. proof positive that hollywood, cw network and other movie/tv producers live in their own bubble and are continuing to push their sjw agenda.. the trailer itself has unbelievable levels of cringe at times.. batwoman happens to be a woman (if you hadn't already guessed) and an out and proud lesbian.
of course, there's nothing wrong with any of this, it just feels so forced.
within a few seconds of the trailer you get some girl-on girl action, just to hammer home the sexuality thing.
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laverite
I think it looks great.
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Hi from England
by victimofdeceit inrecently quit being a jw because i realised that beyond armageddon i was going to be ruled by people who cover up child abuse, not telling the congregations by their letter where the money they donated in the box is going towards paying compensation for legal battles which they caused, and also i was bullied by elders and discriminated against for being homosexual, even though i am not practicing it.
it wasn't until i threatened legal action for a breach of confidence that the elders were deleted.
so through the media and my own personal experience, i realised that they were no different to corrupt businesses in the world.
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laverite
Welcome! This is tough to go through. You probably feel very insecure and even frightened. You are out, on your own, and it's a scary world. But it DOES get better. And so many new and exciting experiences are possible now. Perhaps you will find a partner. Wishing you all the luck and best wishes.
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After Being Out for 17 Years He is Back In again!!!
by new boy ini called a guy i haven talked with for over two years yesterday.
i met him at bethel back in the 1970's.
david b was known as the g job king back then.
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laverite
I wonder how soon it will be before he realizes what a big mistake he has made?
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*sigh*
by C.O.B.E.Beef inthis is my first time participating in a site like this , so please.
forgive me if my approach is clumsy.. my story is not extraordinary and hardly interesting, so thanks.
in advance to this forum for extending the bandwidth for my own.
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laverite
C.O.B.E.Beef, what is the update? How have you been and where are you now in relation to The Truth™? Perhaps I've missed some stuff in the last five years. :)
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My JW mother asks me to be 2nd on her "Medical Directive" card
by OnTheWayOut inmy mother's parents, my grandparents were not jw.
my jw mother had medical power of attorney and her husband (never jw) was secondary on that.
when grandma needed blood, mom let her husband sign off.
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laverite
"She said she doesn't want the elders making decisions." Wow. THAT is interesting! It's also interesting that she's found a way for things to happen in the past without being directly involved. I like her.
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JWs and Field Service Attire
by laverite inthis morning the jws are working my neighborhood.
i have a birds eye view from my upstairs office.
on my side of the street is three men with a baby in a stroller.
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laverite
I'm fascinated by these replies. Thanks for sharing everyone. I didn't know this was so standard now. The thing is that I am often working from home weekdays, and my street is worked (waaaaaay over worked, fact!!) and it's almost always sisters working week days. Sometimes, I see older men working the street, but they are always dressed in their entire JW uniforms. I think it's so rare for me to see youngish men working this street, that the combination of the shoulder bag, clothes, etc. seemed in such contrast to what I am used to seeing on my street.
Thanks all!
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JWs and Field Service Attire
by laverite inthis morning the jws are working my neighborhood.
i have a birds eye view from my upstairs office.
on my side of the street is three men with a baby in a stroller.
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laverite
They looked 30-something maybe?
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By Way of Announcement, Darlene Jefferson Has Been Disfellowshiped
by Cold Steel ini was watching a jw video where the announcement was made of a young lady's being disfellowshiped, and it happened in a regular kh sunday meeting.
this struck me as being a bit...cold.
is this when the shunning begins?
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laverite
Pale, you have a healthy attitude and outlook on the entire situation. This will serve you and your daughter very well in future. I am so glad that you will be able to provide a good example for her outside of the religion. There's a lot of irony, for sure. Interesting and so typical they wouldn't let you go out on your own terms, but seemed to want to have ultimate control. They almost seem to need that, perhaps as a way to deal with the cognitive dissonance that they surely must experience from time to time.
Cold Steel - they don't announce what people did/didn't do during DFs or Public reproof. I think regardless of whether it's a DF or PR, people who don't know will wonder. There's usually at least a few and often more than a few who do know. Ultimately, most will know. And, this kind of thing takes on a life of its own -- often growing way out of proportion. You could have a sister being disfellowshipped for having an affair with a co-worker, and over a couple of weeks, this turns into having had sex with an entire football team in their locker room, multiple times whilst being filmed... The stories take on a life of their own.
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By Way of Announcement, Darlene Jefferson Has Been Disfellowshiped
by Cold Steel ini was watching a jw video where the announcement was made of a young lady's being disfellowshiped, and it happened in a regular kh sunday meeting.
this struck me as being a bit...cold.
is this when the shunning begins?
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laverite
Pale,
You wrote: 'Funny you should mention shunning, only a few hours ago i was getting on a bus with my little girl and an elder and his wife were getting off. I smiled and said "hello" like any normal human being would, to which the elder replied "hello <daughters name>" and walked right past me.'
I know it's not funny. BUT...I couldn't help but laugh reading that. That kind of reaction is so ridiculously immature. I laugh but I also cringe a little too. And I'm sorry you had to go through that.
If you were in a shop or around people in close proximity, you could always say out loud (just loud enough for others to hear) 'Are you really going to shun me in public because of the petty Jehovah's Witness rules? Why must Jehovah's Witnesses such a cruel people? Do you know what shunning has done to its victims? Do you not care?'