When I got disfellowshipped I never exactly had a JC, and thinking about it now im not quite sure if actually my DFing should have stood.
I was abused by an elder when I was young and like the majority who have been in that situation...nothing happened! The elders were told but it got swept under the carpet, luckily he wasnt and elder in our congregation, so I didnt have to put up with seeing him every week.
Anyway I got baptised at 15 and by the time i was 17, I had enough of feeling trapped. I started smoking and seeing someone who was not a JW. I think the elders heard rumors that I was smoking and they all came round to see me. I was petrified and hid in the bathroom and refused to talk to them, after 20 mins of them trying to coax me to open the door only one elder came in and talked to me. I said that I was confused, he gave me the emotional black mail and said he heard that I was smoking and knew that I had a non JW boyfriend that i had to choose, between my parents & the truth or my boyfriend and being part of the world. I was effectively backed in a corner and said that I was still confused. I was told the fact that I didnt out right choose the religion showed that my heart wasnt right and I loved my boyfriend at the time, who later became my husband (now ex) and two beautiful children. In a moment of rebellion and feeling angry that I was being backed into a corner I said that I wanted to be with my boyfriend. Then he said ok and left. The following meeting it was announced that I was disfellowshipped. This elder also knew what had happened to me when I was younger, yet he still came up to the bathroom and backed me in a corner.
I question weather my dfing should have stood because there was only one elder with me the other two were down stairs. I know they probably would have caught up with me soon or later but the approach they took were cruel. It really felt like I had committed a criminal act and the police turned up to arrest me, I wouldnt ever want to go through that hell again!!
I totally agree with the comments on here, but i think they make up their minds before they turn up to your house, weather you cry and cry it made no difference to my consequence. Perhaps they saw me as a liability within the org, knowing what happened to me when i was young, scared i would tell everyone my big secret that would make them look bad
Take care xx