Posts by confliction

30

Dealing with the reality of death. How do you?

by confliction in

jw
friends

since i've come to the realization and conclusion that i've been living a fictional lifestyle for the last 17 years, i've also come to identify with agnosticism.. .

but one issue that's been taking it's emotional toll on me lately is the realization of the fictitious paradisiac earth.. it was the ultimate goal as a witness- the answer to everything.

even if you had questions that couldn't be answered, you were to "wait until the paradise and ask" when you got there.. .

confliction

Hi all,

Since I've come to the realization and conclusion that I've been living a fictional lifestyle for the last 17 years, I've also come to identify with agnosticism.

But one issue that's been taking it's emotional toll on me lately is the realization of the fictitious paradisiac earth.
It was the ultimate goal as a Witness- the answer to everything. Even if you had questions that couldn't be answered, you were to "Wait until the paradise and ask" when you got there.

I've centered my entire life around it; everything I do, and everything I've ever looked forward to...

While I don't immediately rule out the possibility of heaven, or the afterlife, I only "believe" in them on an "I'll find out when I get there" basis- nothing I would go out of my way in the path of life to conform to. I now understand that this may be the only life I will get.

But the reality of imminent death is something that's really bothering me lately... it's something that's really hard to come to terms with when it's something you didn't think would ever happen to you.

For others here on the board who have been through this "phase", what did you do that helped you "get over it", so to speak- if you ever did?
I realize nobody really gets over death, lol, but what things did you do, and what did you spend all your freedom and time doing to occupy the "void"?

I've spent the entire day just moaping around like a pitiful emo kid, rambling in my head about the pointlessness of life lol- how do you move on?

Try aiming your answers also for others that are waking up to reality also- as I'm sure many have and will be on this road.

21

Passion of the [Irony].

by confliction in

jw
friends

i was just wondering.... why do we jw's make such a big deal about jesus dying on a pole, as opposed to a cross?.

the original word, albeit, can lean either way.

and seems in favor of a pole rather than a cross.

confliction

@Yknot

Thusly, I and many born/raised in my hall, don't wear them.......

Really?

Well, I guess I have come to assume that WT Theology and rules are generally united from culture to culture...

But I guess this is an american thing... interesting. They make marriage rings a "conscience matter" here- what about where you live?
Is it a rule or still a "conscience matter" that people generally choose not to do?

21

Passion of the [Irony].

by confliction in

jw
friends

i was just wondering.... why do we jw's make such a big deal about jesus dying on a pole, as opposed to a cross?.

the original word, albeit, can lean either way.

and seems in favor of a pole rather than a cross.

confliction

Well, I don't think being a pagan symbol has anything much to do with the fact that Jesus either died on one log or two... but then again, even though it is a pagan symbol I'm sure they could play it off if they wanted to.

For example, marriage rings are pagan in origin, yet we justify the use of them because in modern days they are not recognized as such, and are used for a logical purpose- like a mark to signify marriage and unavailability as a married person.

Idol worship could probably be played off also- just tell your sheeple that 'he died on a cross, but we are not to worship, pray to, or in any other form, give undue significance to it. Just don't do what general christianity does, basically.

I'm sure that with the legalistic reasoning skills the WT has, they could find an excuse and sell it.

Of course, I'm speaking of an unknown parallel reality, so why bother lol.

26

Great News: Beavis & Butthead Are Coming Back!

by minimus in

jw
friends

mtv announced that mike judge is making some new beavis & butthead videos that will pretty much be similar in style to the original series except that some content will be updated like the boys' viewing lady gaga videos on mtv and making all sorts of snide remarks.. were you into beavis & butthead??

i was!!

!.

confliction

I used to watch B&B with my older brother when I was about 4 or 5. I didn't get all of it at the time but it was funny

21

Passion of the [Irony].

by confliction in

jw
friends

i was just wondering.... why do we jw's make such a big deal about jesus dying on a pole, as opposed to a cross?.

the original word, albeit, can lean either way.

and seems in favor of a pole rather than a cross.

confliction

I was just wondering...

Why do we JW's make such a big deal about Jesus dying on a pole, as opposed to a cross?
The original word, albeit, can lean either way. And seems in favor of a pole rather than a cross. But come on.
Why is it such a big deal?

On second thought, don't answer that question. I know, it's about separation from "false christianity". We wanna look different.

But I find it funny to think, say, in a parallel / alternate universe, what if Christendom used a pole instead of the cross as it's symbol?
I seem to think that we would adamantly fight for the teaching of crucifixion just to be "different".

Anyways, just felt like this was a "lol" moment I'd share.

25

Preparing information about cults and mind control to a therapist...

by confliction in

jw
friends

i'm currently visiting a psychologist/therapist to help me examine and work through my depression- i've had medical depression/anxiety all of my life.

i'm no longer anxious or excessively paranoid for the most part- that was a part of my younger childhood, probably from fears and nightmares of destruction at armageddon, and other childhood exaggerations and amplified fears.

but right now, she's treating me for a recent fall back into a depression.. anyways, for the most part, as you could guess, my depression stems from learning i have wasted my entire life (17 years) up to now in a cult, and pretty much my entire perceived world was nothing but an illusory concept.

confliction

Alice

I think jwfacts pretty much made my point here.

First off, she is a psychologist- she is experienced and trained in the sciences related to examination of the human psyche, or mind. She applies this knowledge of the human mind to therapy. This is why I used a slash "/" when referring to her as a psychologist and therapist.

If you really want to get technical, she's a psychotherapist.

The fact that you try to insult and downplay the idea that I may, in fact be medically depressed is, I assume, because I have explained here a major factor in why I'm having a depression, and you instinctually feel offended by that. I guess I can understand that.

But the fact that I am medically depressed and have had recurring bouts of suicidal thoughts and low self esteem could never possibly be because I've been raised a witness- or so you think. I can understand that, and this is why you're defending yourself in futility, right here, right now.

If you really want to create an argument over this because you feel you're not involved in a cult and I, along with everyone else is exaggerating the situation, go ahead- you have free will. I simply want to inform my counselor and help her see things better through my "eyes", assessing the real root of this problem so she can better help me combat my depression and get on with my life.

And I will.

So, please, continue wasting your life by yourself- you're not convincing anyone now, nor are you going to convince anyone to join you in your illusory paradisiacal earth.

25

Preparing information about cults and mind control to a therapist...

by confliction in

jw
friends

i'm currently visiting a psychologist/therapist to help me examine and work through my depression- i've had medical depression/anxiety all of my life.

i'm no longer anxious or excessively paranoid for the most part- that was a part of my younger childhood, probably from fears and nightmares of destruction at armageddon, and other childhood exaggerations and amplified fears.

but right now, she's treating me for a recent fall back into a depression.. anyways, for the most part, as you could guess, my depression stems from learning i have wasted my entire life (17 years) up to now in a cult, and pretty much my entire perceived world was nothing but an illusory concept.

confliction

Thanks Lady Lee, I think that's what I'm trying to say. No matter how experienced of a professional you are, chances are your education hasn't led you through much information regarding the effects of cults- it involves many areas of studies to really understand, like you said.

To all others, the reason I want to use and educate this counselor is because she is the only counselor I can possibly work with right now, due to my situation. I am a teenager, and as such, medical expenses and monitoring fall under my guardians. I just feel that it would appear too suspicious to my mother to try to lie my way making an excuse for another counselor- and she would have to help me in finding the right one anyways.

My mother is a regular pioneer JW, and my dad is an MS.

If the idea that I'm looking for a counselor experienced in cult rehabilitation even crosses their mind, I'm in trouble- this is not part of my plan.

Therefore, I'm working with what I do have, and she seems like a caring enough person anyways. I have ready access to her without any fear of parents finding out, because they know I visit her for my "depression". Also, psychological health counselors are under oath to keep private information, private. I can explain to her what will happen to me if she informs my mother, and I want to do this through educating her about the religion and cults in general.

Thus why I'm posting here, lol.

Anyways, thank you very much Lady Lee- I will definitely put this to use. Are there any particular things I should emphasize to her when presenting the information? Possibly, creating a summary of cults, compared to JW's, and then presenting references to more in-depth information regarding each subheading in the summary?

10

What is it like to be an elder???

by confliction in

jw
friends

i'm not 18 yet, so i've never had the chance to become one (thank god), but what kind of things do you learn as an elder that are... different from being a regular jw or basically someone without "priveleges"?.

.

for example, what stuff do you hear, what books do you get, what kind of things did you see, etc..

confliction

I'm not 18 yet, so I've never had the chance to become one (thank god), but what kind of things do you learn as an elder that are... different from being a regular JW or basically someone without "priveleges"?

For example, what stuff do you hear, what books do you get, what kind of things did you see, etc.

25

Preparing information about cults and mind control to a therapist...

by confliction in

jw
friends

i'm currently visiting a psychologist/therapist to help me examine and work through my depression- i've had medical depression/anxiety all of my life.

i'm no longer anxious or excessively paranoid for the most part- that was a part of my younger childhood, probably from fears and nightmares of destruction at armageddon, and other childhood exaggerations and amplified fears.

but right now, she's treating me for a recent fall back into a depression.. anyways, for the most part, as you could guess, my depression stems from learning i have wasted my entire life (17 years) up to now in a cult, and pretty much my entire perceived world was nothing but an illusory concept.

confliction

I understand the point you're trying to make, awake, but cultic behavior and mind control is a very particular and specific field of the psychological sciences, and as such is a realm of study all it's own.

I frankly wouldn't expect any counselor to fully understand the inner workings of cult psychology just because they know how to mentally rehabilitate the average person, as much as I would expect an experienced nurse to know everything about heart surgery- it's just not their area of expertise.

But the reason I would like to educate her and inform her on my situation is because hopefully (1) she will be more prepared to help others involved in cults and (2) because I don't really have access to an experienced cult rehabilitator / counselor. She has the ability to understand things from a psychological standpoint, and to analyze my thinking and help me fix it- she just doesn't know the extend to which I am damaged by all of this, mentally, and I want to give her a background so she can better help.

25

Preparing information about cults and mind control to a therapist...

by confliction in

jw
friends

i'm currently visiting a psychologist/therapist to help me examine and work through my depression- i've had medical depression/anxiety all of my life.

i'm no longer anxious or excessively paranoid for the most part- that was a part of my younger childhood, probably from fears and nightmares of destruction at armageddon, and other childhood exaggerations and amplified fears.

but right now, she's treating me for a recent fall back into a depression.. anyways, for the most part, as you could guess, my depression stems from learning i have wasted my entire life (17 years) up to now in a cult, and pretty much my entire perceived world was nothing but an illusory concept.

confliction

Hi all,

I'm currently visiting a psychologist/therapist to help me examine and work through my depression- I've had medical depression/anxiety all of my life. I'm no longer anxious or excessively paranoid for the most part- that was a part of my younger childhood, probably from fears and nightmares of destruction at armageddon, and other childhood exaggerations and amplified fears. But right now, she's treating me for a recent fall back into a depression.

Anyways, for the most part, as you could guess, my depression stems from learning I have wasted my entire life (17 years) up to now in a cult, and pretty much my entire perceived world was nothing but an illusory concept. As of now, she doesn't know this, nor have I revealed it to her, besides a brief mention of the fact that I'm a Jehovah's Witness.

I plan to inform her of WHY I'm depressed, because neither of us can solve my depression if I don't present the underlying issue.
BUT, I don't know how much she knows regarding cult psychology, and all the things it does to a person, and I'm afraid she may not completely understand why I feel the way I feel- how I think, how I interpret things, beliefs, etc.

Because psychologists/counselors are by oath entitled to keep secrecy and confidentiality (except of course on matters involving immediate danger to life/well being) I want to divulge this to her, but I want her to understand exactly what it is that I've been through for the past 17 years.

So, I guess what I'm saying is, what are some of the best sources of information that educate on cult psychology, behaviors, Jehovah's Witnesses, and the like, that I can direct or present to a non-JW, so that she can possibly become more disposed to understand me?

Literature, websites, and the like would be helpful, as well as official documentation on research (by other psychologists) on cults, or JW's. I'm not sure but youtube documentaries may work also, as long as they're fairly objective, and not necessarily demeaning to witnesses in general.

Scientific / psychological analysis that give a brief (accurate) overview of the doctrine and system in general, and then the effects of this on humans, I guess. Thanks, if you get what I'm trying to say, since, after reading this, I don't think I really got my point across... lol.