Posts by techdotcom

104

Open relationships, polyamory and swinging

by techdotcom in

has anyone else, after leaving the restrictive rules of the jw world, tried having an open marriage, joining the 'lifestyle' of the swinger comunity?

we've been doing that for about 4-5 months now and it's been an interesting experience, in fact it's been a major distraction from the hell of rebuilding our lives outside the religion and our base of friends.

.

techdotcom

Nothing missing in our marriage really. We went thru 10 years of hell with me being an unbeliever and staying together thru that. After that test we feel pretty industructible. My wife finally understands and trusts how much I love her and I saw her overcome the cult conditioning with that trust.

Our sex life is still good and that is not really the incentive either. Great sex was one main thing that kept our relationship viable when the religion was an issue. For us it's been about finding a new way to connect with people and I would agree that the key to an open relationship is being open. With eachother as well as in the sense of being available for an intimate relationship with others. No secrets but with respect for the others privacy as well. That being said, if it starts to be an issue we will stop and fall back to what we know best, each other. Although we tend to go out seperatly socially it's due to a lack of cheap babysitting. The one we use costs close to $100 if we stay out all evening and shut the bars down.

I've heard the non-specific stories of swinger/open couples tending to break up but I have yet to actually run into any of them myself. I've met a few since we started this and to be honest they have all been in a stable relationship for years. The only example like that I know of is with my sis in law who left her JW husband after having an affiar with an old high school boy friend who was in an open relationship. 1) She had been looking for a way out for years from her marriage. 2) her new guy and his wife were already having issues and did not have a trusting relationship to start with. I do see how this type of arrangment causes some additional stress, hell i feel pretty sorry for those who are single and dating. No matter how bad the date turns out I still have an awesome lady to return home to and the same for her. Getting to know someone, becoming intimate for the first time is akward and stressful and full of the insecurities we no long need to worry about with each other. The stresses of dating put some strain on us but like I said we have each other to fall back on and support one another. Plus it's been a really good distraction from the stresses of getting out the religion.

To those who don't like sharing....yeah I get ya, but just because you have a knee jerk reaction to something that does you no real harm, that does not mean you have to let it control you. Jealousy is about the insecurity/fear of being replaced. When toes get stepped on we talk about it. I'm not worried about that. If my marriage breaks up, it will because myself or my wife have decided to let that happen and not due to having a friend with benifits or two on the side.

104

Open relationships, polyamory and swinging

by techdotcom in

has anyone else, after leaving the restrictive rules of the jw world, tried having an open marriage, joining the 'lifestyle' of the swinger comunity?

we've been doing that for about 4-5 months now and it's been an interesting experience, in fact it's been a major distraction from the hell of rebuilding our lives outside the religion and our base of friends.

.

techdotcom

Has anyone else, after leaving the restrictive rules of the JW world, tried having an open marriage, joining the 'lifestyle' of the swinger comunity? We've been doing that for about 4-5 months now and it's been an interesting experience, in fact it's been a major distraction from the hell of rebuilding our lives outside the religion and our base of friends.

15

Quantum physics.... any good material to read?

by cyberjesus in

which books do you recommend on the subject?

special for beginners out of the wt asylum like me?.

techdotcom

Yes AND no :P

46

Have you ever had " a moment of clarity"?

by elderelite in

these moments are something that not eveyone has experianced, but if you have they are with you every day.

a true moment of clarity is not something you live once.

you live it every time you think of it.

techdotcom

I've had several, some kinda silly or funny but deep as well and some that were what you might expect.

1) Having my mother talk bad about a homeless person and calling them a 'wino' and me realizing and saying that there was no way to know what/who that person was and it wasn't right or fair to assume.

2) At much to young of an age being asked to choose what parent to live with. The early wakeup call about choice and responsibility shook me deeply and makes up a big part of what I am now.

3) First direct contact with a breast in a sexual manner....sigh....sorry but for me a deep and almost spiritual feeling.

4) Many small moments as a JW seeing things for what they were but trying to hold on to my honor and keep a promise I made to what I now believe is just a fantasy.

5) Seeing my wife come out of the religion and meeting the her I always suspected was in there, for real....and being totally blown away by how much I like and love her.

21

What would happen to a JW if they were prescribed medical marijuana?

by manicmama in

jw
friends

i was just looking at the news and this just popped into my head.

what if you had terminal cancer and were prescribed this by your physician?

you already have a terminal disease so the thing about destroying your "body as a temple" thing is a mute point.

techdotcom

The WT wouldn't dare to DF someone who was prescribed legal medical marijuana. They are up to their eyeballs in loser-lawsuits and selling off Brooklyn.

There's still plenty of precident for following federal guidlines when dealing with pot. Also they are, at the most basic level, not rational. Expecting them to take actions that make sense may be asking alot.

68

Aren't You Embarrassed That YOU Ever Believed Any Of The Watchtower Bullsh*t?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i do think about that and i realize that i should've gotten out sooner.

( i stayed in longer for various reasons).

but the last few years i knew it was bullsh*t!

techdotcom

Nah, but I am still embarrased by the goofy perm I got back in the 80's. Bad memory.....

17

The longest prayer ever done scenario

by asilentone in

what if a deaf brother sign the longest prayer ever recorded like one hour or two hours, do you think the audience will disappear before he signs amen?

.

techdotcom

I can remember a prayer when I was a kid that had people leaving before he was done. I don't know how long it was but it laster forever it seemed like.

57

My daughter asked me this today.

by thenoblelodge in

she asked me why god didn't step in to stop tragedies.

for example, recently twin baby girls were attacked in their cots while their parents were down stairs.

both suffered life changing injuries.. my daughter knows a couple who have waited years for a baby and eventually had i.v.f.

techdotcom

It's funny how I see so many witnesses turned atheists/agnostics who praise Raymond Franz who left the WT but stuck with the Bible while simultaneously bashing people on this board who are doing the same thing.

While some people do get frustrated and "bash", there is no reason for you to feel defensive and to lash back out yourself. I would advise, as I did in an earlier post, to use the same process that a person uses to expose the fallacy and dishonesty in witness belief to other aspects of thier life as well, including their faith in god.

Faith is belief without objective proof. Not an evil thing or even bad. However, faith can become the rationalized basis for many things that are very bad indeed. I believe all of us need a certian amount of faith to be mentally healthy and function, however I also think that faith must be balanced by skeptical/critical thought lest it become the monster we see all thru human history and in the example of religions like the JW's.

Honest faith makes no claims to being the "truth" and therefore needs no defense.

57

My daughter asked me this today.

by thenoblelodge in

she asked me why god didn't step in to stop tragedies.

for example, recently twin baby girls were attacked in their cots while their parents were down stairs.

both suffered life changing injuries.. my daughter knows a couple who have waited years for a baby and eventually had i.v.f.

techdotcom

Brotherdan, you have used critical thinking and logical reasoning to abandon the WTS teachings. However, no one should claim that the WTS holds the monopoly on being irrational. Examine the bible and religion in general with the same eye as you did the society. If faith and trust in a particular organization could lead you astray, how can you be sure that your trust and faith in the Bible is not also misplaced.

Use the same tools that you used to examine the WTS and it's teachings. Examine your faith in the Bible and in God. While it could leave you with more questions than answers, you may find that as freeing as your putting aside the teachings of the WTS.

If you choose to "believe" and to have "faith" do it honestly and with the knowledge that you could be completly wrong.

52

Where do we go when we die

by watersprout in

jw
friends

the watchtower teaches that we return to dust.

i'm not taken with that idea!.

we are spiritual beings so where does our spirit go?.

techdotcom

I say why worry about it. I can "believe" the soul is a make up fiction, or I could "believe" the soul is immortal and will move on after this mortal body perishes. In either case I there is no way to "know" for certain until I die and find out or don't.

You live now, so "live now". Speculation if fun and in drunken moments of insight I've been known to muse on any number of issues. But as anything other than entertainment or mental exercise it is worthless.

Just my 2cents. What is, is. Like Paul Blart says "Observe and report". If you die and can find a way to get a message back about the conditions after, that would be awsome. Until then I've got life to worry about.