Welcome to right place
We are here to help you, all of us have been trough the same process...it takes time, and it is painfull, but you "will know the truth and the truth will set you free"
It is better to know rather to be in WT lies and spend your rest of your life into the lie
You can do the follow:
1.Fade out, start to miss meetings and field service
2.Don't tell your doubts to any one they will not understand(their minds are closed and controled by the WT
3.Try to make new friends(they are many in this forum that they are willing to help you) so that you will start to replace the WT friends(they cannot love you unconditionally, friendship is offered with the condition as long as you are a member of the WT club)
4. Read the Bible(not the NWT, that's not a translation) ask for the Holy Spirit for guidance, and pray to JESUS.
5.If you have relatives and friends and you don't like to loose them completely just FADE OUT it is the best thing to do. Propably they will say that you have material spirit and that's it. They will keep talking you and still talk to them.
6. Or if you don't mind, write a letter of disassociaton and send the Watchtower to HELL, and no one will talk to you and consider you as spiritual deads