plmkrzy,
This is in answer to your question about whether the WT ever published its view that disfellowshipped anointed ones should not attend the Memorial.
This is what I remember reading in a Questions from Readers in the Watchtower. I have not been a JW for over 20 years and cannot do the research to find the exact quote. I understand there is now a CD which people can use to research previous publications.
I believe I remember the Question from Readers actually pertained to whether or not disfellowshipped people could attend, and the answer was Yes. But then, sort of as an afterthought, they said that someone who was anointed and disfellowshipped should not attend. I do not believe that this was in any way intended to increase someone's suffering - it was to avoid an awkward situation of having someone who was used to partaking from being in a position of either having to partake in a disfellowshipped state or else having to pass the emblems along as if they were of the "other sheep" class.
This was published before the WT had to worry about many new ones starting to partake - it was written when a partaker was usually one of the "old-timers." It was also written before some people started to partake as a last protest before leaving the WT. So there are problems the WT faces now that it did not at the time the article was written.
In my opinion, for someone who sincerely believes they have the heavenly calling, it is only proper for them to partake of the emblems regardless of what criticism they may receive from the elders. But once someone has been put out of the congregation, they should not come back just to partake and make a point. With all the anxiety that has been created over the "two classes" doctrine, people forget that the Memorial is a symbol of unity (not uniformity as the WT would have it) and that it cannot be used like a weapon in the current "spiritual war" between the WT and its "apostates." If someone leaves the WT or is put out, they can still partake at the table of the Lord with others of like precious faith and at least be united in love and faith with those people.
The old communion hymn, which refers to the Lord's Evening Meal as the "Eucharist," had it right:
"O Thou, who at thy Eucharist didst pray
That all thy Church might be for ever one,
Grant us at every Eucharist to say
With longing heart and soul, 'Thy will be done.'
O may we all one Bread, one Body be,
Through this blest Sacrament of unity.'
Justin