I don't know the specifics of what you're thinking about,so I can't really advise you.I know for me,I'm so new out of the Borg, I just go with my gut feeling-but as I do have some experience,it's a little different for me.If you're comfortable with discussing it,you can email me.
Cicatrix
JoinedPosts by Cicatrix
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20
on the subject of sex
by Vivamus ini am being very serious here, i am having some thoughts on the subject of sex.
what is it that determines the way you view sex?
is it upbringing, or genes?
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on the subject of sex
by Vivamus ini am being very serious here, i am having some thoughts on the subject of sex.
what is it that determines the way you view sex?
is it upbringing, or genes?
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Cicatrix
Hehe-what a coincidence that you should post this question the day after my first wild post-Borg weekend lol.I was pretty uninhibited and well educated before I was a JW,so when I was baptised I had to reign myself in quite a bit(even wrote Bethel on a few issues when I was studying-interestingly got a different answer than what was printed in the Watchtower on the oral sex issue.Alas, I didn't keep the letter).I'm still in my "Whoopie,I'm Free!" stage,so don't know how much I'll settle down.I was baptised when I was a teen,so I don't really know what my personal views are as of yet, other than to say they are definitely NOT of the Borg mentality! I sure am enjoying exploring the issue though:)
I think sexual views are a combination of genetics and upbringing.I have very, ahem,sexually active non JW parents.My upbringing was pretty liberal,with healthy boundaries set(no incest,make sure you're sexually responsible,etc.).I was allowed access to their books on pregnancy and birth when I was quite young,and as a young adult,I was allowed to read books on sexuality(not porn,although I did know where it was hidden and snuck a look at this too).I think this made me more sexually responsible,not less(nothing like a flowery description of STDs to make one aware of the importance of safety).I think because of this, I always had a hard time with the Borg definition of marital sex.I could never get what they meant about "not throwing off all restraint in marriage".
In contrast,I've had several friends who were raised with a different ideology of sexuality.This caused them no end of problems later in life when their perceived view of sexuality and their biological urges just didn't match up.
The most heartbreaking are my friends who had their joy of sexuality totally obliterated by perverts who sexually molested them when they were children.Seeing the indelible marks left on these poor victims entire lives has made me extremely intolerant of molesters!
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Newbie
by blackrose inhello, i am new to this board in a way.
i have been reading messages for about a month now and just got the nerve up to register an account so i can give my "two cents" once in a while.
i was raised a jw, but just recently expressed openly that i do not have plans on associating with them any longer.. anyways, not going to type my story out right now, as i do not know if any one wants to hear it.
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Cicatrix
{{{{{Blackrose}}}}}} Hi,I'm a newbie like you who has just recently made the decision to leave.I'd love to hear your story if and when you ever feel ready to post it.The stories that others have had to share have touched me and given me the courage to do what I've always known in my heart I needed to do.I know how hard it is sometimes to share your history,though.I haven't been able to bring myself to formerly introduce myself-just kinda crept in through the backdoor lol.
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Eggs
by larc inlife here in our community has been tough lately, so i thought i would put up some fluff.
my question to you is: what is your favorite way to eat eggs?
now, my preference is hard boiled eggs in a salad, an egg salid sandwich, and the royalty of all egg meals - eggs benedict.
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Cicatrix
Scrambled,fried in real butter,with hot salsa and Tabasco sauce.
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Cancer
by Sirona inyou might think i'm being picky here, please dont take this the wrong way.
the thing is, i'm stuggling with my health at the moment and am going in hospital to see if my cancer has spread.. heres my gripe: some people (noone on this board) say to me, over and over, that they know someone who had skin cancer and they're fine now....how they can just remove the mole and everything is fine.
well for the purposes of educating people:.
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Cicatrix
((((Sirona))))
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you also for the reminder.I will check all of my family today.
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Any advice on DA process?
by Cicatrix in.
hello all,.
i'm a newbie that's been lurking here for a couple of weeks, trying to get up the nerve to post.i've made the decision to da myself after months of thought and research.i'm not familiar with the procedure,though.is there anything that any of you feel is particularly important for me to know?do i have to go before a jc to da?if i refuse to,will they just df me?i prefer to make it clear that i am the one who is voluntarily leaving, but having been a victim of the kangaroo court proceedings on other occasions, i just can't bring myself to put myself in the elder's "loving" hands again (a story for another day).i'm fortunate that none of my family members are baptised or even active witnesses at this point.. any input would be much appreciated.. cicatrix
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Cicatrix
Thank you Mike Musto.Very informative.
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25
Any advice on DA process?
by Cicatrix in.
hello all,.
i'm a newbie that's been lurking here for a couple of weeks, trying to get up the nerve to post.i've made the decision to da myself after months of thought and research.i'm not familiar with the procedure,though.is there anything that any of you feel is particularly important for me to know?do i have to go before a jc to da?if i refuse to,will they just df me?i prefer to make it clear that i am the one who is voluntarily leaving, but having been a victim of the kangaroo court proceedings on other occasions, i just can't bring myself to put myself in the elder's "loving" hands again (a story for another day).i'm fortunate that none of my family members are baptised or even active witnesses at this point.. any input would be much appreciated.. cicatrix
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Cicatrix
Thanks Elsewhere!!
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25
Any advice on DA process?
by Cicatrix in.
hello all,.
i'm a newbie that's been lurking here for a couple of weeks, trying to get up the nerve to post.i've made the decision to da myself after months of thought and research.i'm not familiar with the procedure,though.is there anything that any of you feel is particularly important for me to know?do i have to go before a jc to da?if i refuse to,will they just df me?i prefer to make it clear that i am the one who is voluntarily leaving, but having been a victim of the kangaroo court proceedings on other occasions, i just can't bring myself to put myself in the elder's "loving" hands again (a story for another day).i'm fortunate that none of my family members are baptised or even active witnesses at this point.. any input would be much appreciated.. cicatrix
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Cicatrix
Elsewhere,
Do they let you just drift if you celebrate holidays, or do they DF you for that?The congregation I'm leaving is small.They will notice we are gone-have noticed already.Although there have been no offers for a shepherding call,an elder's son has been calling and offering to study with my son.Same with the CO,but for whatever reason,this was the first visit the CO did not offer a sheperding call to us.Curioser and curioser.
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25
Any advice on DA process?
by Cicatrix in.
hello all,.
i'm a newbie that's been lurking here for a couple of weeks, trying to get up the nerve to post.i've made the decision to da myself after months of thought and research.i'm not familiar with the procedure,though.is there anything that any of you feel is particularly important for me to know?do i have to go before a jc to da?if i refuse to,will they just df me?i prefer to make it clear that i am the one who is voluntarily leaving, but having been a victim of the kangaroo court proceedings on other occasions, i just can't bring myself to put myself in the elder's "loving" hands again (a story for another day).i'm fortunate that none of my family members are baptised or even active witnesses at this point.. any input would be much appreciated.. cicatrix
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Cicatrix
Thanks to all for your quick replies.I really appreciate your input.
I have gone back and forth on this issue for a few days now,whether to just walk or officially DA.Yes,it is playing by their rules to write a letter,but my experience with others leaving here is that they really give you no choice.If you don't DA yourself, they find a reason to DF you eventually anyway(I have reason to believe they may have begun an "investigation" of me already,but aside from logging onto this sight on my computer, they have no grounds whatsoever-yet.hehe).
Friends are not really much of an issue.Due to a really strange situation(which upon reading the lovely elder's manual I find is acceptable procedure), they have chosen to believe the slander of certain "unbelieving" relatives of mine.All of the families I was close to have been "warned off" from my bad association by a "concerned" elder(who admitted to me in private some of the slanderous remarks,but would not divulge the person who said them,although I have a good idea who it is).In essence, I've already been DFd,as I've been shunned for some months(I believe they might refer to it as "marking", although there are absoulutely no grounds for them to do so, and it's my understanding that they aren't supposed to mark members of the congregation anymore, although I may be mistaken on that.At any rate, it's all been done on a private, hush hush level.I can't prove it's been done by anything except for the refusal of members to associate with me on a personal level, or even to go in service with me(lots of creative excuses and no shows).And all of this took place over a number of months while I was still actively attending meetings and going out in service!
Boy,don't I sound paranoid??Well, I really thought I was until I recently talked to another congregation member, who told me that this had been done to them, also(and I didn't divulge that it had been done to me).
The reason why I'm considering an official DA is twofold.First,I'm currently in college pursuing a degree (Gasp!hehe.This cong is very slow to respond to new WT info) in which I will be working with children.I absolutely abhor what is going on with the whole sex abuse scandal,and I want to make it officially clear to "the world"(sorry guys,just using WT language) that I no longer am involved with the WTS.Also,it was actually another person's voluntary disassociation that got me thinking.This person never said a word about why they were leaving.We shared a special and poignent hug,then the following week the announcement was made.I was floored!Disfellowshippings never penetrated my WT haze, but somehow,the DAing got me to think.I knew this person's history and it made no sense.I think that this person's silence on this issue, along with the "brazen" action of voluntarily leaving really made me think, because I knew this person well.
At this point,I could give a flying fig if any of the "brothers" ever talk to me again.In fact, I would take great pleasure in invoking their own rules against them if they try to harrass me(aka that new KM about how to deal with DFd and DAd persons--hehe).The few persons I care to have a relationship with have already flagrantly disobeyed the dictates of the WTS in this regard with other persons,so I hardly think my actions will stop them.
I guess I kind of have a "You can't fire me--I quit!" mentality.
So how is this for a DA letter:
Dear Presiding Overseer:
Effective immediately,I am writing to inform you that I no longer wish to be associated with the _________ Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses, Inc.,or with the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society.
Sincerely,
What do you think?Hehe.Short and to the point,with no incriminating info(unless of course they read this board).
Outnfree~Thanks for noticing the "scar" in my name.It's not gone-maybe never will be, but scars don't usually remain painful.I fully expect the pain will fade in time,and a very valuable lesson has been learned.
I'm looking forward to the support here, as I've been indoctrinted for many years,and leaving will not be an easy thing.But nothing that's really worth anything ever is:)
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25
Any advice on DA process?
by Cicatrix in.
hello all,.
i'm a newbie that's been lurking here for a couple of weeks, trying to get up the nerve to post.i've made the decision to da myself after months of thought and research.i'm not familiar with the procedure,though.is there anything that any of you feel is particularly important for me to know?do i have to go before a jc to da?if i refuse to,will they just df me?i prefer to make it clear that i am the one who is voluntarily leaving, but having been a victim of the kangaroo court proceedings on other occasions, i just can't bring myself to put myself in the elder's "loving" hands again (a story for another day).i'm fortunate that none of my family members are baptised or even active witnesses at this point.. any input would be much appreciated.. cicatrix
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Cicatrix
Hello All,
I'm a newbie that's been lurking here for a couple of weeks, trying to get up the nerve to post.I've made the decision to DA myself after months of thought and research.I'm not familiar with the procedure,though.Is there anything that any of you feel is particularly important for me to know?Do I have to go before a JC to DA?If I refuse to,will they just DF me?I prefer to make it clear that I am the one who is VOLUNTARILY leaving, but having been a victim of the kangaroo court proceedings on other occasions, I just can't bring myself to put myself in the elder's "loving" hands again (a story for another day).I'm fortunate that none of my family members are baptised or even active witnesses at this point.
Any input would be much appreciated.
Cicatrix