Posts by Starfish

32

What Is The Watchtower Afraid Of?

by metatron in

jw
friends

if you follow the current nonsense being taught by the society, in its latest magazines and assembly parts, there seems to be a dominant theme about near worship of the "faithful slave" and tiresome nagging about 'obey, obey, obey'.. my unanswered question is: why?.

if they were the empire in star wars, i would expect to hear dark-robed members of the evil governing body muttering about " a disturbance in the force".. anyhow, what has changed to generate this sudden demand for obedience to their supposed authority?

some years ago, they panicked after contributions collapsed in the 'voluntary donation arrangement'.

Starfish

I would imagine that the WTS are very very worried and afraid of the witnesses using the Internet.

It is the life blood of the younger generation and kids nowadays if they want to know something they wikiped-it. They will come across forums like this and find that apostates are not hate-filled against Jehovah, but have had their eyes opened and the minds free from the control.

The Internet allows you to know anything and anyone.

Thanks to the Internet..the WTS will lose any credibility and control over the younger ones (and us not so young too!).

11

Isn't going to Law School a no-no?

by Chaserious in

jw
friends

i was reading some education-related threads on here and i'm curious about something.

i haven't been out too long, and while i was in, i was farsighted enough to get my college degree part-time at night.

i kind of knew i'd be out someday and would need it... anyway, since i've been out, i've been going to law school.

Starfish

There is a young sister in the local congregation who told me she is at the local university studying Law.

I was surprised and I although I don´t know her well (because we seldom go). She seems a proper JWs and answers up.

Now bear in mind this is Spain. So I am thinking that in Spain the whole idea of not going for higher education is overridden by most JWs families seeing the sense of having a good education to provide for their families - the ones I know of seem to have professional jobs.

In the UK, I didn´t know many who went to University though and some witnesses were happy to claim benefits instead of working so they could pioneer.

49

Hello - I´m new here

by Starfish in

just wanted to introduce myself.... .

i am a secret fader but since reading this forum i feel i am alot more confident about telling my family/friends that i don t go to the meetings and inactive.. my hubby is also a fader with me...we kind of drifted after my first baby was born.

she is now 11.. it all started with my mom who started studying with my cousin when i was about 15. while she was studying i also started studying (i was about 16).

Starfish

Hi Cantleave - thanks for the welcome.

Now why do I still attend the memorial? Mmm good question. I think we just kind of still have a tiny bit of guilt for not going to the meetings. It really is recently that I am beginning to question it all. I mean I can´t go on being a fake witness to my witness family members and not tell the truth about me and my husband ( although I haven´t seen them for over 2 years ) ..I need to make up my mind. Although I have no real desire to go to the meetings or behave like a witness. I want to be a normal person making my own decisions and doing things without the guilt trip.

We all went this memorial this year only because we had an invite from the elder and his wife who come and see us now and then. They really are a lovely couple and they did help us out when we first came here so we felt obliged to go really.

49

Hello - I´m new here

by Starfish in

just wanted to introduce myself.... .

i am a secret fader but since reading this forum i feel i am alot more confident about telling my family/friends that i don t go to the meetings and inactive.. my hubby is also a fader with me...we kind of drifted after my first baby was born.

she is now 11.. it all started with my mom who started studying with my cousin when i was about 15. while she was studying i also started studying (i was about 16).

Starfish

Hi Sam

Sorry the elders didn´t allow you to fade.....we have been quite lucky to just be left as inactive and the elder and wife team who come now and then are quite nice and understanding. We didn´t speak against the organization or the elders but kept our true feelings to ourselves and went to the occasional meeting, then moved abroad.

It´s only recently that I googled the witnesses and found this forum....I am shocked at some of the real life experiences of some. Deeply shocked....I have the experience of my mom and think that was unfair how the elders treated her, but I thought it was a one-off.

I really want to read this book...never heard of it until I came here. I think it will be very enlightening and clarify some of the doubts I have.

Hey I am sure you know some of witnesses or they could be ex witnesses by now, in London. I had a really good friend who moved to California Orange County working for a family who was originally from North London.

23

Maybe you all could give me some suggestions.

by MrFreeze in

okay here's the deal.

i just started a new job.

although i've been working at this place for half a year now, they just now within the last month made me a full-time employee.

Starfish

Hi

I had something similar to you a while back.

It was actually when we moved abroad and I had stomach problems. I wasn´t sure why and laid off bread for a while-didn´t help but I did lose a few pounds. After a while it got me so worried that I decided to pay for some tests. I was thinking it was something quite serious.

It turned out that I was fine..nothing was wrong. It was all in my mind and once I knew I wasn´t going to drop down dead.. I relaxed and then my stomach was normal again.

Looking back, I think it was because I was under alot of stress. At the time, I didn´t think I was- but you can be stressed without realising- of course it makes sense now that I was actually under alot of stress - I just moved abroad, not long had a baby and my mom died.

You have been temping and don´t have healthcare...that is a worry in it´self- the stomach is a complex organ and very easily affected by our emotions.

Hope you feel better..

31

Imagine a WT Paradise Earth with over 100 Billion People- Not!

by moshe in

for years the wt has claimed that only 20 billion people have ever lived on the earth- in 1988 they claimed that there would be 1/3 hectare of every person who ever lived, which they said was enough to grow all the food that was needed.

a more realistic number by the population reference bureau is over 100 billion.

life in the wt utopia would resemble living in third world slums with just one bowl of food a day.

Starfish

When I was active, the idea of paradise on earth didn´t really appeal to me.

Lots of the witnesses dream of it but for me the idea of having a house in the country, planting my own veg etc didn´t excite me. I love cities with lots going on, shopping and theatre etc.

Also would this perfect earth be just how the congregations are with their hierarchy? I wonder...then no way would I fancy being bossed around by elder X Y or Z and told how to live my life so that all woman became clones of each other. Yikkes no way!

49

Hello - I´m new here

by Starfish in

just wanted to introduce myself.... .

i am a secret fader but since reading this forum i feel i am alot more confident about telling my family/friends that i don t go to the meetings and inactive.. my hubby is also a fader with me...we kind of drifted after my first baby was born.

she is now 11.. it all started with my mom who started studying with my cousin when i was about 15. while she was studying i also started studying (i was about 16).

Starfish

JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS AGAIN FOR THE WELCOMES...

I must say, I have been doing alot of thinking about Jehovah and the JW organization and analysing alot of things which I haven´t really done before until now. Well actually it has always been at the back of my mind and I used to think about my life when I was a witness and how I miss my friends etc.

Now I see it differently...I think that before I considered it to be the closest religion to the truth. Now definitely not !

The more I read and think about, the further away from truth it is.

In turn, I have been able to stand up for what I truly feel...I told in my previous post that I hid the fact I was inactive from my family (who live a fair distance away which helps) who are witnesses and also my non-witness family still think I am, (I think).

It is just a first step for me to be truthful...the other day, I received a text from my witness cousin who asked if I had been to the DC? I texted back and said that I didn´t go and by the way, I don´t go to the meetings here because of the pressure and was making me anxious and unhappy. I told her that the kids are happy because mom and dad are happier and more relaxed.

I should of told her that I haven´t been going for 10 years or so...but I think I will elaborate more when I see her face to face so that I can explain better. Maybe I can help to free her shackles too.

I haven´t completely left it ... we tend to go to the memorial every year. The local congregation here know we are inactive witnesses from England and they are friendly. An elder and his wife occasionally come to see us. They don´t put any pressure on us. Although they came all the way from their house to ours just to tell us that CO was visiting and invited us to his talk. We didn´t go..the fact it´s in another language doesn´t help to enjoy it.

I´m not up to date on alot of what goes on in the organization now. I just remember when I was in it. I didn´t have children when I was active. I cannot see that I would ever become active again and teach it to my children but I also don´t think I can hate it. I think that there are alot of well meaning witnesses in the organization who are just cloned and closed minded. Some live and breathe it but it´s not a healthy lifestyle.

Anyway, I am just writing the jumbled words in my head and hope it all makes some sense.

49

Hello - I´m new here

by Starfish in

just wanted to introduce myself.... .

i am a secret fader but since reading this forum i feel i am alot more confident about telling my family/friends that i don t go to the meetings and inactive.. my hubby is also a fader with me...we kind of drifted after my first baby was born.

she is now 11.. it all started with my mom who started studying with my cousin when i was about 15. while she was studying i also started studying (i was about 16).

Starfish

Thanks to everyone for their welcomes..

I know my exit has been relatively easy....reading other people´s stories have been quite shocking and often upsetting how they have been treated. And I do feel pangs of guilt when I get a text from my cousin or when my kids go to their karate lessons, in case a witness sees them.

I am so glad I found this forum, it has really made me think about what it is all about and how it has actually affected me without realising. Without it I probably would just of carried on looking over my shoulder or avoiding certain family members in case they quiz me. No more lies or hiding for me.

So thanks again.

Today - you asked about my mom.. Well poor little thing died just before I moved abroad and just weeks after I had my new baby daughter. She never got to see her which is very sad. We spoke often on the phone and she was just the most positive person you could ever meet. Despite her life being quite sad..she was lovely. She died quite suddenly with pneumonia. I was living near London and she was in Liverpool. My sister woke me in the very early hours with the news. She was only 63. I went up for the funeral and not one of my witness family came to the funeral ! Heartless now I think about it.

Billy the Bethlite - the disfellowshipping thing I will definitely warn my family about ... I didn´t fully grasp it when I got baptized but when I experienced it with my mom, it is so awful. Love is not made with an on/off tap. This is what definitely keeps me far from that organization..the witnesses are only your friends on condition. It´s all conditional. This I can´t grasp at all..for stupid reasons they can shun you.

Ziddana - I love the starfish icon ..will try and cut and paste it but I am rubbish at techy stuff. Have to ask hubby. Can I have it for my avatar? If I can change it?

49

Hello - I´m new here

by Starfish in

just wanted to introduce myself.... .

i am a secret fader but since reading this forum i feel i am alot more confident about telling my family/friends that i don t go to the meetings and inactive.. my hubby is also a fader with me...we kind of drifted after my first baby was born.

she is now 11.. it all started with my mom who started studying with my cousin when i was about 15. while she was studying i also started studying (i was about 16).

Starfish

Thank you everyone for the lovely welcome !

By the way, I made a few mistakes in my post..can I edit?

49

Hello - I´m new here

by Starfish in

just wanted to introduce myself.... .

i am a secret fader but since reading this forum i feel i am alot more confident about telling my family/friends that i don t go to the meetings and inactive.. my hubby is also a fader with me...we kind of drifted after my first baby was born.

she is now 11.. it all started with my mom who started studying with my cousin when i was about 15. while she was studying i also started studying (i was about 16).

Starfish

Just wanted to introduce myself...

I am a secret fader but since reading this forum I feel I am alot more confident about telling my family/friends that I don´t go to the meetings and inactive.

My hubby is also a fader with me...we kind of drifted after my first baby was born. She is now 11.

It all started with my mom who started studying with my cousin when I was about 15. While she was studying I also started studying (I was about 16). I whizzed quite fast studying and got baptized the same time as my mom. I pioneered for a while . My mom had a terrible time with her monthlies and the doctors advised her to have a hysterectomy. While she was recovering with bedrest..she had a few cigerettes...she used to smoke 20 a day before she was baptized. The elders found out and treated her terribly. She was so upset to be treated so harsly especially getting over her operation, that she wanted to disassociate herself. They made her feel so bad and guilty. I was about 18 now.

She gave me the letter for the elders and I remember the elder said to me something like "she´s not going to disassociate herself..we are going to disfellowship her"!! They were awful..she deserve it. After this I was fed up with the whole thing and wanted out, to live my life. I had planned to move to London to work before I studied and thought that´s what I was going to.

Meanwhile, I treated my mom the same. I didn´t shun her. In fact, I never shunned any of my disfellowship family. My cousin never spoke to her which is very sad, but that´s what most are like I suppose.

So when I was 21, I the chance to move to London (which was a shock to everyone..back in those days, it wasn´t the done thing in my town). I lived with an aunt who was working/living in North London and I stayed with her for a while. While I was there, I went to the Kingdom Hall and I foolishly continued to go despite feeling half hearted about it.

I wasn´t zealous and was always late and never commented. Even so, I had a few "good" friends, one especially and we became best friends. But then she moved away and got married when I was 25 or so. Soon afterwards, I met my would be husband and we became friends0. I could see that he was put under a lot of pressure to do talks etc. He openly stated he wasn´t comfortable and had doubts.

He liked me and I liked him. We got on really well. The elders didn´t really bother us, probably because they knew us only as adults and not able to "boss us around". We both were working professionals. We missed loads of meeting and no-one really bothered us, thank goodness. We got married when we were 27. Then we moved a few miles out of London where property was cheaper. We went to a new Kingdom Hall and still went to the meetings when we could.

I got pregnant and had a demanding job while my husband worked long hours in London. It was hard work without having the pressure of the meetings. I remember my last meeting. I was sitting at the back with my daughter who was a noisy handful and afterwards one of the elders who I didn´t really know well, started lecturing me and my husband about our attendance. Well he got a piece of back chat that he didn´t expect. I get so mad with some of the brother who haven´t a clue about you or your life and think they have the right to lecture.

After that we just drifted...going to less and less meetings. An elder and his wife used to come and see us quite regularly to encourage us but it didn´t spark us up enough.

Fast forward to recent times..we moved abroad and avoided the witnesses totally..and want to keep avoiding them.

However some of my family are witnesses and my favourite cousin thinks that we are still going to the meetings etc..but I am planning from now on to be completely honest.

My cousin continues to try and get other family members into the organisation and I hope to next time I see any of them, to tell them to steer clear.

I regret spending so many years hiding the fact that I am no longer going to the meetings. I recently came across this forum and found that there are so many of us who are out of that awful organisation where the Governing Body and the elders try and control people to the miniscule detail.

So glad we are out and my children will never experience such extreme control in their lives. My children are happy and will grow up feeling good about living their lives how they want to.