Posts by ABibleStudent

37

I think my fade has hit a rut. Do I need to grow a pair?

by konceptual99 in

jw
friends

so here i am after about 18 months of wake up.

the first 6 months were a rollercoster of feelings as my whole belief system unravelled.

the last year has been more stable but things seem like they are just stalling now.. my wife is aware of many of my feelings although i have held back the fact that i am pretty close to denying all belief in any kind of god.

ABibleStudent

Hi konceptual99, I'm sorry for your predicament with your wife.

Have you tried any of the following:

Have you read any of Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs")?
Have you started a Bible Study night with your family where you help your family to understand how the Pharisees and Sadducees used BITE control to victimize Jews and how Jesus Christ felt about the Pharisees and Sadducees. DO NOT attempt to draw any comparisons with the WTBTS.
Have you asked your wife simple questions to learn more about what she likes, how she was treated as a child, why she feels the WTBTS has the "Truth", and does she know how to use the internet to do independent research? Instead of showing your wife that the WTBTS does not have the "Truth", ask her what research has she done when she expresses doubts about the WTBTS or some injustice in the KH?
Have you tried to encourage your children to make non-JW friends and have sleep-overs with families that your wife may share interests?
What non-JW activities could you and your wife do that would allow you to meet non-JWs with similar interests?
What time consuming and non-WTBTS hobbies do you and your wife like to do together?
If your wife likes to go to Assemblies and Conventions, have you showed your wife how much money that you could save using the internet to locate hotels with features that you ike. You can also help your wife to read hotel reviews to compare WTBTS approved hotels to other hotels. It is important to stay at non-WTBTS hotels, because it will allow you to enjoy some non-WTBTS downtime to allow your wife's authentic persona to overcome her cult persona.

Best of wishes helping your wife to critically think for herself

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

36

The eldaaaars again!!

by ILoveTTATT in

jw
friends

after two months of not coming to my house, today about two hours ago, one of the elders that came two months ago came to my house.

he was in serve-us with other brothers from the spanish cong and came into my house with a friend of mine (not another elder).

he said he wanted to talk to me, and he said it in front of my mom and my dad (both were there).. what was interesting is that it seems like it will be a one-on-one for half-hour.

ABibleStudent

Hi ILoveTTATT, About an hour before your scheduled meeting text him that you will not be meeting him at the coffee shop, please do not make unannounced calls where you live, and you will contact him when and where is a good time to meet in the future.

On Monday talk with your boss about what you need to do to advance in the organization. DO NOT tell him about your personal problems. You want to advance in the organization and are willing to relocate and take on more assignments if that will help you advance. The more you work the less time you have to talk with elders.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

P.S. - I agree with Oh Gawd that lying is not a good choice, but do not agree with his options.

46

I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!

by hoser in

jw
friends

i have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.

they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.

it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .

ABibleStudent

Hi hoser, You have done nothing wrong. Why condon toxic peronalities in your house? Get rid of them from your life. You can choose to continue to be bullied by them, be polite to them but make them feel uncomfortable, ask them to stay in a local hotel if they do not respect your decisions/opinions, etc.

If they try to bully you, just show them books by Raymond Franz (i.e., "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom"), Don Cameron (i.e., "Captives of a Concept"), and/or Steve Hassan (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (i.e., his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs"). Once your close relatives see the books, they should run away and never bother you again.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

58

What do you say if you get asked "Are you an Apostate?"

by KateWild in

i am reuniting with past students and return visits.. i met up with a young lad i used to call on.

he is not baptised, but at university in his 20's and living away from home.

his mother is a jw and his father is not.

ABibleStudent

Hi KateWild, I admire you for trying to reconnect with your bible students.

You did ok with answering his question, because now he wants you to return to meetings with him instead of running away from the WTBTS. In situations like the one you encountered, it would probably be best to encourage him to do independent research, visit sites like either www.jwfacts.com or www.freedomofmind.com, and make up his own mind. He is no longer a child and should be encourage to critically think for himself instead of like a brainless child that the WTBTS wants him to be.

On the other hand, I would also consider answering his question with a shock-n-awe question like, "Do you know of any famous apostate(s)? The Pharisees and Sadduccees probably considered Jesus Christ as an apostate for not following what they were teaching."

It is unfortunate that many ex-JWs have lost faith in God, but still feel that the WTBTS has the "Truth" if there is a God. It amazes me how powerful BITE control is.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

11

If you were born in Afghanistan would you be a JW.

by jam in

typical response from a jw, look at noah and job.

jehovah will gather.

his people no matter where they are.. your rebuttal..

ABibleStudent

Ask them if they have visited this website: http://www.pewforum.org/2012/12/18/global-religious-landscape-exec/?

Now ask them to do the math. Why are there 1.6 billion Muslims and only 8 million JWs? If the end is so soon, why hasn't Jehovah helped open the minds of non-JWs for JWs to convert to the WTBTS like God did to the Jews for Jesus Christ?

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

10

How did you get over.......

by DS211 in

jw
friends

your cognitive dissonance, particularly that with living out in the"world"?

and any with children, how did you get over the fear of your kids interacting with other kids, bad habits, and the other fears with leaving the borg?

just curious as i too have many moments of "oh god how will my kids grow up in this world?

ABibleStudent

Hi DS211, DITTO what Punk wrote about CCMC.

Have you watched the Harry Potter movie "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"? One way to overcome your fears is to make what you fear funny. One way to overcome cult speak's loaded words is to stop using them and/or to translate them in your mind into something funny or something more truthful, like instead of someone being "Worldly" - they are non-JWs, someone who is "Spiritually Strong" - they are non-thinking, and someone who is "Spiritually Weak" - they are still thinking.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

13

Ha, my hub wants a gift~!

by Angus Beef in

jw
friends

he knows i'm done, he's willing to fade.... out of the blue last night he tells me if i want to buy him a gift, he'd like the bacon bowl maker and the hamburger press (with the hollow center for fillings) so i will be buying him a valentine gift and i'm excited to be able to do it.~.

i'm looking forward to doing lots of things we couldn't do, we may have to secretly do them since we still have family in wt.

my mind is overwhelmed with excitement.... .

ABibleStudent

Best of wishes for you, Angus Beef , and husband living a happier life free from the WTBTS! By the way what do you want for Valentine's Day?

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

15

District Assemblies and Circuit Assemblies getting farther away from home

by never a jw in

20 years ago the da's were in dodger stadium, 10-15 minute drive from home (east part of san fernando valley, los angeles area).

then moved to long beach, 45 minute drive.

now in 2014 they are moving to san diego, 2 1/2 hr drive.

ABibleStudent

DATA-DOG - Last night I overheard my Wife talking to a JW friend on the west coast. I could tell that her friend was worrying about the distance to the DC and not being able to find a WTBTS approved hotel. The unforgivable sin of staying where you want is weighing on her soul.

Hi DATA-DOG, Does your wife know how to locate cheaper hotels and read guests' reviews about the hotels to locate hotels that she (or her friend) might enjoy)? I wonder why the WTBTS approves one hotel over another, unless they get some kind of a kick-back (i.e., donation per JW) from the hotel.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

25

wt exposer strikes in rest.

by JunkYardDog in

jw
friends

i in a rest.

eating lunch an older lady comes in with her 2 kids.

the lady is fussy and i give her my table.

ABibleStudent

Hi JunkYardDog, Do you pause between your questions to allow JWs to think and stew in their own cognitive dissonance before you ask other questions? According to Steve Hassan silence can be more powerful than more questions.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

13

Have you used dropbox? Have you had any problems?

by ILoveTTATT in

jw
friends

there is a certain user to whom i suggested using dropbox, and the user said he had problems with it, that his computer ended up full of game advertisements.. please, to those who have used dropbox before, can you give your honest evaluation of dropbox?.

i am trying to convince this user that i did not suggest to him something that was bad, but actually good... that it helps to share huge files, no matter what their size.. .

please tell this user... i don't want to lose this user's trust.. .

ABibleStudent

Hi ILoveTTATT, I use dropbox to share large files with friends and family and between my smart phone and laptop frequently. It is easy to use and I have never had problems with it.

Peace be with you and eveyrone, who you love,

Robert