Hi jambon1, I'm sorry about how you feel.
Since you cannot change what your wife believes, have you thought about going to a counselor to help you deal with your feeings and coping with your situation? If your wife wasn't a JW, you and your wife had major fights, and she did not want to see a counselor, what would you do? I was faced with that choice once, and I wish that I had gone to a counselor sooner. Don't waste your time being miserable.
If you changed your objective from getting your wife and family out of the WTBTS to helping your wife and family critically think for themselves, would that help you feel better? How would you feel if you could get your wife involved in fun, time-consuming, non-WTBTS activities/hobbies that you both love and would help you both to meet more non-JWs friends? Have you tried to learn how to overcome your wife using thought-stopping platitudes and cult speak? Instead of showing your wife what is wrong with the WTBTS, have you tried asking her simple questions and encouraged her to critically think for herself and do her own independent research?
Best of wishes for feeling better soon.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert