Posts by cherrypye

i've faded 13 years ago, but i still never answer an unknown phone number, don't answer a knock at the door unless a friend has told me they are on their way, etc.

also, i avoid giving anyone other than my mom my contact info and no one gets my address.. i could care less about avoiding a df, were it not for my family that is still in.

cherrypye

Hey factfinder -- I would never let any JW know that. My husband is aware, so he is careful with what he mentions to my family as well. Thanks for the advice.

Loz, I hope you and your husband find a time when you have a greater freedom too. Life is wonderful, but it would be even better if the religion misleading our loved ones ceased to exist.

28

im luke warm and dont know what side im on, i dont mix well and i dont want to be worldly if u know what i mean,im a good person with morals and nowadays thers not many of us left., not were i live anyways,its so hard leaving it behind cos now i duno what to do with myself, and i dont want to go out and live it up or go on face book or go meet loads a worldly people and be like everyone else, and i dont wana celebrate pagan hols even thoe i might do xmas i still feel weird doing that.i dont feel right with myself one bit..

cherrypye

PS - I don't celebrate holidays either. It's not a requirement of being free.

28

left and now lost

by serein in

im luke warm and dont know what side im on, i dont mix well and i dont want to be worldly if u know what i mean,im a good person with morals and nowadays thers not many of us left., not were i live anyways,its so hard leaving it behind cos now i duno what to do with myself, and i dont want to go out and live it up or go on face book or go meet loads a worldly people and be like everyone else, and i dont wana celebrate pagan hols even thoe i might do xmas i still feel weird doing that.i dont feel right with myself one bit..

cherrypye

Serein,

It's normal to feel like a stranger in a weird land. You've just walked away from an organization that dictated everything for you, and even decided who you should be friends with. Learning how to judge people without the JW grading scale (approved association versus not approved) is scary at first.

First, you have to decide what is moral and what isn't. And you can't simply make those judgement based on what the organization defined as appropriate conduct. There are many in the org that lived very immoral lived, and some that lived upright lives. The same exists outside of the organization. You must learn not to judge people based on the Org's standards, which is difficult, because that is all you are used to.

If you still consider yourself a Christian, you might find an open-minded church in your area and pay them a visit. Try to turn off your preconceptions, and sit through a service and watch people. They are worshipping their God the best way they see how. It might have a calming affect on you.

I remember how difficult it was. I visited a church and all I could see was "showy display of one's means of life" and lots of idolatry. Once I got pass that, I saw genuine people trying their hardest to live their life right. We all fall short. Best of luck on your journey.

20

My story/Proof of cross?

by FifthOfNovember in

hi all, i've been reading this site for several weeks and i really liked the community and it seems like a good place where i discuss my concerns openly.. about me: .

i've been studying since elementary school, i became an unbaptized publisher in elementary school too.

i currently am in high school.

cherrypye

Wow, that WAS a great point!

18

How long is long enough to consider yourself safe?

by cherrypye in

jw
friends

for those of us that were baptized and faded, how long do you think before we can stop worrying about being called in for a jc?

i've faded 13 years ago, but i still never answer an unknown phone number, don't answer a knock at the door unless a friend has told me they are on their way, etc.

also, i avoid giving anyone other than my mom my contact info and no one gets my address.. i could care less about avoiding a df, were it not for my family that is still in.

cherrypye

V665, it's a sad fact, isn't it. My husband sometimes asks me why I spend so much time here. He said, "That religion is in your past." I explained to him that it's never in your past until those we love are free as well.

Factfinder, good for you! May it continue! Scarred, I'm glad your mom was free but I'm sorry that she had to live looking over her shoulder.

CyberJ, I did move --clear across the country. We recently moved back due to hubby's job. So now the fear is back.

Oldlite, GREAT NAME!!! Perhaps this is just the impetus I need to get that lyposuction! lol

18

How long is long enough to consider yourself safe?

by cherrypye in

jw
friends

for those of us that were baptized and faded, how long do you think before we can stop worrying about being called in for a jc?

i've faded 13 years ago, but i still never answer an unknown phone number, don't answer a knock at the door unless a friend has told me they are on their way, etc.

also, i avoid giving anyone other than my mom my contact info and no one gets my address.. i could care less about avoiding a df, were it not for my family that is still in.

cherrypye

"In fact with your hubby acting as your bouncer, it sounds like you are in the ex-JW witness protection program."

Think About It, you're absolutely correct!!! Thank goodness for him!

18

I feel bad about what i just did to my aged mom

by recovering in

i was disfellowshipped when i was 21 (raised as a witness).

my mother who is now 80 and a diehard witness always hoped that i would return.

she is concerned that she will soon pass away and the arrangements.

cherrypye

Recovering, I'm so sorry to hear this. Can you please consider how you might feel if you specifically asked your mother not to have a witness-type funeral for you and she did anyway? It would be very disrespectful. A person deserves to have their final wishes honored, in spite of how uncomfortable it might be for you. Please assure your mother that you'll respect that.

In addition, I suggest a follow-up conversation apologizing for causing your mom pain, and calmly explaining your position. Do this so you don't have to live with the possibly unbearable guilt of having hurt your mother, even if it was necessary. I'm so sorry.

443

Generation Teaching - Everyone is speechless?

by Red Piller in

jw
friends

maybe the effect of this change is bigger than realized?

in 1995, it was discussed (positively) by everybody, during the week we studied the wt.

one elder stepped down and was looked down upon.

cherrypye

It's probably the guilt that keeps the weak believing. It's easy to believe something wholeheartedly when you haven't really taken the time to get to know it's flaws. Somewhat like a teenage infatuation.