Posts by bez

30

Something that's been on my mind for a while and I finally put into words.

by WontLeave in

jw
friends

should i turn "apostate"?.

when anyone is replying to a matter before he hears [it], that is foolishness on his part and a humiliation.

prov 18:13. .

bez

I have no intention of going anywhere, although there has been much effort to push me out, from elders, a circuit overseer, and even from the branch. I've just learned to bite my tongue rather than cast my pearls before swine.

WHY?

Though i fully agree with so many thing you say, WHY would you stay amoungst hypocrites? As JWfatcs said, you could infact be anywhere with your opinions and still be a good christian..so why stick with the witnesses who you clearly see as people who get many things wrong?

So you stay to get YOUR point accross to them? Or not, you keep your mouth shut...whatever, i am struggling to understand your reasons for staying in a 'religion' that you clearly do not fully accept?

I was brought up a witness and as far as i know, you DO have to accept the teachings of the 'society' and if you do not, you are not a true JEHOVAHS WITNESS.

Advice.. continue being a christian by all means, following christ in a way you feel you can... YOU as an indivdual are NOT going to change the thinking and belief of the Governing Body or Society on a whole, so what exactly is your mission? and can you not just use your energy, love for christ and continue being a decent human being with your relationship with God and Christ in tact because you are not living your life as a hypocrite?

As a JW, you really do have to conform CantLeave, and this is probably why they have tried their best to 'out' you!!! Can you not see this?

You obviously have issue with the authority in the org, so why stay?? This religion is all about Authority?! Tho the bible teaches Christ is head of the congregation, the elders are put in place to exercise the christ like headship, so as a witness, you should actually go along with that?! If you are not going to do this you may as well go your merry way, and continue to be a good person.

I understand people who feel they cannot leave because they do not wish to be shunned, i have been like this for years, but feel that finally after making a decision and not living as a hypocrite, i can be HAPPY!

You simplyl CANNOT pick and choose which bits you want to accept from this organization!!! you have to accept all of it, and that includes the authority of the elders etc... Yes they get things wrong and the 'society' would admit this, but you still have to go along with it ALL!

That would include not being on one of these sites surley?!

I guess my basic point is, you either are a JW or you are not... there is really no halfway house, and this perhaps is the reason you have been made to feel like those in 'authority' want you out!!

Be happy with your relationship with God, stop battling with something you do not fully accept as 'truth'.

Yes they are close to 'truth' even i believe that, but they have clearly got many things wrong in the past... which has even taken people's lives! Therefore i believe it best to stick with your own belief and move on with it. Continue to love God.

"get out of her if you do not want to share with her in her sins"

I hope you do not take offense, i think you are obviously just still very confused and still actually searching... Just BE HAPPY!

39

Jehovahs Witnesses have a lot more mental problems and much higher suicide rate

by TastingFreedom in

jw
friends

jerry bergman, ph.d. .

the first american study.

the watchtower influence was often not positive, and there was no evidence that it had in the long run helped those who had emotional problems when they joined.

bez

I was always a depressed kid!

Only started to come out of my depression in the last year with the help of happy pills, and during this time, funnily enough, made the decision i had been debating for the last 5 or 6 years...to get OUTTTT

Good read, thanks, lots ringing true here

30

Something that's been on my mind for a while and I finally put into words.

by WontLeave in

jw
friends

should i turn "apostate"?.

when anyone is replying to a matter before he hears [it], that is foolishness on his part and a humiliation.

prov 18:13. .

bez

i agree with soldier 77, many of your points hit home to me which is probably why i read throught the whole thing too.

I echo elderlite, i got bit lost towards end..you stayin or you leavin?

42

no more lurking...hello eveyone

by Evidently Apostate in

jw
friends

about a year ago i went through a mild meltdown.

it hit me fast i had panic attacks and became angry with all the control in my life.

(being a jw) i had just found out i was being screwed on a real estate development project by another self righteous jw i have known for a long time but this was a big loss (about 4 months pay plus expenses).

bez

hey, ur story bit like my own and evidently many others...

Either we are just raving apostates that are gonna be well an truely destroyed at armageddon, or we are just trying to break free and make some sense of the crap we have been fed for years... either way, heres to being happy??!!

24

"...the times we are living in..."

by bez in

so, just had one of our 'elders' ring to see how we are getting on and if we need any help etc.. when my hubby was honest and said we were ok and that we had decided to just move on with our lives and our family right now and concentrate on that and nothing else, but thanked him for their interest and care over last few months.... he replied by saying, ok, he would let the body of elders know this???

?, and he also reminded him to not forget "the times we are living in".... my husband told me the conversation after coming off the phone and now i feel, after being on a high the last couple of weeks (despite coming off my anti-d's cold turkey, drs orders) , i feel now actually really crap, quite scared and once again like i am making a bad decision for my kids... what is wrong with me!!!.

.

bez

Thanks everyone, and cultclassics, yes tho being told for years to avoid these sites like the plague, my immediate reaction was, i wonder what these guys would have to say about this, tho knowing in my heart i felt this way too, some good points have been made here.

Especially about how certain phrases can lead our brains to kinda chain react...thus trigger guilt.. soo interesting.. i think i will go into psychology lol!

24

"...the times we are living in..."

by bez in

so, just had one of our 'elders' ring to see how we are getting on and if we need any help etc.. when my hubby was honest and said we were ok and that we had decided to just move on with our lives and our family right now and concentrate on that and nothing else, but thanked him for their interest and care over last few months.... he replied by saying, ok, he would let the body of elders know this???

?, and he also reminded him to not forget "the times we are living in".... my husband told me the conversation after coming off the phone and now i feel, after being on a high the last couple of weeks (despite coming off my anti-d's cold turkey, drs orders) , i feel now actually really crap, quite scared and once again like i am making a bad decision for my kids... what is wrong with me!!!.

.

bez

thanks nelly, very interesting !

24

"...the times we are living in..."

by bez in

so, just had one of our 'elders' ring to see how we are getting on and if we need any help etc.. when my hubby was honest and said we were ok and that we had decided to just move on with our lives and our family right now and concentrate on that and nothing else, but thanked him for their interest and care over last few months.... he replied by saying, ok, he would let the body of elders know this???

?, and he also reminded him to not forget "the times we are living in".... my husband told me the conversation after coming off the phone and now i feel, after being on a high the last couple of weeks (despite coming off my anti-d's cold turkey, drs orders) , i feel now actually really crap, quite scared and once again like i am making a bad decision for my kids... what is wrong with me!!!.

.

bez

Thanks LostGeneration. Funny you say about the phobia thing... i have had therapy in the last 3 years for OCD, or obsessive compulsive thinking... one major issue of mine being that of ill health and death (morbid i know).. granted i dont believe every witness is this way, my mother probably did not help my fears for one reason or another, but being raised a witness has always made me question whether my already fragile make up as a child was not nourished in the best of ways...

I see my little girls fears already being like my own at her age... now i am DESPERATE for her to not grow up obsessed with the fear of dying etc.. Im desperate to nourish her in the best possible way without making her fearful all her life.. No joke i have wasted the last 16 years of my life worrying about such morbid issues...

Funny how only recently (whether helped by my therapy, or my release from the 'organisation') have i started to realise that 'shit happens' but life is for living and we have to make the best of what we have, and try our bests to instill good morals into our children, and keep there little brains ticking realistically but happily.. (if ya get me)lol

61

Where now?

by bez in

jw
friends

its been a long time coming but i kinda think im finally at the point of no return....... right or wrong, i have spoken to my 'friends' about my new feelings and the fact i no longer believe that this is gods chosen people etc etc... and have already been told that if i was to now celebrate my childs birthdays , her 'truth' friends would not be able to come to sleep again and associate with her... (she is 7).

this is despite the fact they are allowed to play with there non witness friends who live down the road....why??

the explanation is that their daughter would perhaps feel it is ok to do this when it is not... i ask why could they not just simply explain it is not our family's belief anymore (as my husband is with me on my decision), and my response is that it would be difficult to do that as we once were witnesses and now are not so it would confuse her daughter and make her think its ok to do these things now... .

bez

This i have heard before, a massive misprint ... whom to go to, not where to go to.. thank you inkie once again for your help.

I do continue to pray and am feeling happier than ever at the moment.. i just hope it continues and feelings of guilt etc dont hinder my future.

Like you said, if i continue to pray this way, i hopefully will only be pointed in the right direction from now on.

Thanks again !

24

"...the times we are living in..."

by bez in

so, just had one of our 'elders' ring to see how we are getting on and if we need any help etc.. when my hubby was honest and said we were ok and that we had decided to just move on with our lives and our family right now and concentrate on that and nothing else, but thanked him for their interest and care over last few months.... he replied by saying, ok, he would let the body of elders know this???

?, and he also reminded him to not forget "the times we are living in".... my husband told me the conversation after coming off the phone and now i feel, after being on a high the last couple of weeks (despite coming off my anti-d's cold turkey, drs orders) , i feel now actually really crap, quite scared and once again like i am making a bad decision for my kids... what is wrong with me!!!.

.

bez

Sapphy yes i agree absolutly, and that point did go through my head..just guilt was there too, but as everyone has said i have been conditioned to think this way, i was brought up a witness and have been the last 29 years so as i have said before its hard to shake the doom and gloom!

Emma, im interested to know if you were once in my situation, just with you saying that your kids thanked you for the choice you made.. did you leave when they were young?

Yesterday was a hard day, my little girl asked if her JW friend would be allowed a peice of her birthday cake, when i said i dont think so she sobbed into the couch, and when i asked her what was wrong she said, wont i ever see them again??!!! It makes me want to cry now just thinking about her little face...its not our choice its theres...I do know as i have said before that she will move on and adjust better than us but its still so sad that for the last near 8 years of her life her best 2 friends are JW's...no more

Guess it as just hard for me to see, as my friends too of 29 years or certainly the last 20 years are no longer friends of mine and thats not through any choice of mine.

Brotherdan..not sure exactly what the elders are needing to know...gues that we wont be going anymore...dunno why exactly they need to know that, should i now expect another phone call from perhaps the congregation overseer..i dont know what happens now.. i just know im wanting to live my life now, but dont want to be DF of DA myself as this obviously makes the whole situation with family more awkward?

61

Where now?

by bez in

jw
friends

its been a long time coming but i kinda think im finally at the point of no return....... right or wrong, i have spoken to my 'friends' about my new feelings and the fact i no longer believe that this is gods chosen people etc etc... and have already been told that if i was to now celebrate my childs birthdays , her 'truth' friends would not be able to come to sleep again and associate with her... (she is 7).

this is despite the fact they are allowed to play with there non witness friends who live down the road....why??

the explanation is that their daughter would perhaps feel it is ok to do this when it is not... i ask why could they not just simply explain it is not our family's belief anymore (as my husband is with me on my decision), and my response is that it would be difficult to do that as we once were witnesses and now are not so it would confuse her daughter and make her think its ok to do these things now... .

bez

Thanks again Inkie i will defo be doing some more bible reading!!