i guess i should have said, "how does a man move up" since they're a male-only ruling class.... what does it take to become an elder, and so on up?
i don't really think the mr. is in the running for any special titles, but just in case in the future something along these lines happens, how does the hierarchy work?
(probably not a true consideration, being that he's married to me, but hey, i'm sure stranger things have happened).. .
I guess I should have said, "how does a man move up" since they're a male-only ruling class...
What does it take to become an elder, and so on up? I don't really think The Mr. is in the running for any special titles, but just in case in the future something along these lines happens, how does the hierarchy work? (Probably not a true consideration, being that he's married to me, but hey, I'm sure stranger things have happened).
-Libelle
the mr is a jw-started back into studying 3 years ago, got baptized 2 years ago.
i've never been one, nor have an interested (was raised catholic, now am a pagan - uu).. i'm just starting this thread to see how you all deal with it.. thanks.
libelle.
If they start witnessing to you, you can in turn anti-witness to them. Are you well versed in their history?
Sort of, not enough to win one of their twisted, underhanded arguments. And I'm not a great at thinking on my feet when it comes to this stuff.
Thanks Littlebird, I've not taken the 1918 approach with him... well let me be honest, all of my "approaches" were just angry and upset rants, mostly against the bible itself (it's never held a special place in my beliefs), and produced little effect. I seriously haven't brought up anything because it's still too much of a hot-button for me. I get too upset. FInding some way to converse about it calmly, now that will be a task.
I don't know how you practice your beliefs or even if you do anything to practice it but one thing you could ask is how would he feel if you came back from some pagan gathering, refreshed in your spiritualness, and acting in a way that he would not approve of?
Well, I mostly do practice on my own, though I do attend a UU church regularly. As to your question - it would be further evidence, in his eyes, that I'm not following True Religion TM and I'm sure he'd find some way to show me that in some publication or another.
Until she can realize that God is not found in an organized religion, she will always be in bondage. It makes it easier for me to see her for who she really is, a good woman who really wants to know God and please Him somehow. Knowing that this machine is exploiting that trait of hers helps me to be a bit more understanding in her plight.
That's a very admirable approach. Wish I could see our situation the same way.
As I've mentioned before, I tend to get up in arms (though I have been better about it the past year or so) when he starts getting preachy, or if I overhear some of their bible studying or what not. He always uses this in a "satan's trying to mess with him" approach or as a way to "show" me that my beliefs aren't helping me because if I was in a true religion, then I would be more at peace. Now, this just turns the whole issue back around to me, avoiding his role (changing personality, etc that comes with converting to JW) in any of it. Anyone deal with that? It drives me nuts. All of my problems would be gone, as far as he's concerned, if I converted to JW. Really?? I cannot believe he truly believes that, and yet, he does.
-Libelle
thanks to beks for the title.. i can't stand being a fatty-fat-fatty anymore.
my son is getting married, allegedly next fall, and i want to look good for the wedding.
and i want to look good for myself.
If you want to dig deeper, I'd suggest reading Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes. Very eye--opening, paradigm shifting stuff on weight loss and gain. It's really changed my whole view on things.
the mr is a jw-started back into studying 3 years ago, got baptized 2 years ago.
i've never been one, nor have an interested (was raised catholic, now am a pagan - uu).. i'm just starting this thread to see how you all deal with it.. thanks.
libelle.
Thanks, Zid, for the message boost! I appreciate it.
BrotherDan, sorry to hear your wife issued such an ultimatum. I"m surprised tho, since divorce is only allowed in JW eyes when there's been adultery. I wish I could plant seeds, but really he's so enamored at this time (he's been baptized only 2 years) that nothing will shake him. My sister did give him CoC to read once, and he went on and on about apostate literature. He's really not at a point where he's willing to look at it critically, he's too "happy" with it.
Things we have in common... um...well alot of that vanished when he started studying again. Social and political ideals, common interests. Well the WTS's literature made him decide he didn't hold to those ideas or enjoy such things anymore. Or that he shouldn't. Really the thing we have in common the most right now - is um, between the sheets, and I worry about that going too.
Garyneal - loving her/him for who s/he is... Good in concept, but hard in practice (which you did illustrate). I loved him for who he was, now I just don't really know who he is, in alot of ways. I mean, sometimes I feel like I love him out of habit, more than anything else.
I guess for me, I cope by discovering who I am and not being ashamed to express my true self around her or other J-dubs. It is not my responsibility to police who I am around them because of their beliefs.
That's a smart thing. I've usually kept mum around them, but really they don't do that around me, why should I with them? Well, I guess in part because I don't want them to start "witnessing" to me, but still I should not keep myself under wraps, should I?
I don't know, in lots of ways our getting married was due to JW (we were just committed to each other, prior to that, but you can't knock on doors and be "living in sin"), so in some ways I do resent it. IN our best days, I think we can get through this, in our worst (like after a DC or CA when he's all holier than thou and refreshed in his "spiritualness"), I wonder if I shouldn't just find some person to sleep with and so end it decisively.
i'm just introducing myself before i get to know the site a little.
i'm "libelle," i'm a pagan married to a man who's now a jw.
he was not this way when our relationship first started.
Thanks Kurt!
I am curious, though, how did an inactive Jehovah's Witness meet up with a pagan? Did he not show any concern for you and your beliefs during the time he wasn't active? How does he feel about it now?
Well, he'd been lasped for some time when we met, so I don't know if it was even on the radar at the time. He did occassionally show some concern, but it never seemed to be a big deal. How he feels about it now? Well, he wishes I would pray to J-god with an open heart and accept the truth, of course.
Thank you for the welcome, V665, and thank you as well for the compliments! :)
My dad was a UBM and is to this day. That sure didn't make things easy. For a long time he really gave my mom a lot of grief over it. Eventually my dad mellowed and my folks are getting along but sometimes I wish that my mom never met the borg in the first place. It's hard to say what the chances are of your marriage surviving. I just hope your husband will have the good sense to mellow out a little too.
Wow, he's still a UBM, huh? how does he manage that? I often wonder if I can stick with this through the next day, let alone year(s). Yeah, I've given The Mr a fair share of grief, especially early on. But then I realized that I was playing into their expectations of how Satan must be using me, and slowly calmed it down. I find it irritating that there is no acceptable way for a loved one to express concern with someone joining the JW- if they protest, even with many good reasons, it's all just "Satan's doing," I guess the alternate is to not care, but that doesn't get you anywhere either, does it? I guess time only will tell how long he and I last. At this stage he's too in love with the WTS to have any interest in questioning anything, and only views questions as an attack. I know not all folks ever drop out of the in love stage, so in many ways I know I"m playing a waiting game of sorts.
-Libelle
the mr is a jw-started back into studying 3 years ago, got baptized 2 years ago.
i've never been one, nor have an interested (was raised catholic, now am a pagan - uu).. i'm just starting this thread to see how you all deal with it.. thanks.
libelle.
The Mr is a JW-started back into studying 3 years ago, got baptized 2 years ago. I've never been one, nor have an interested (was raised Catholic, now am a Pagan - UU).
I'm just starting this thread to see how you all deal with it.
Thanks
Libelle
How did you do that brotherdan?
i'm just introducing myself before i get to know the site a little.
i'm "libelle," i'm a pagan married to a man who's now a jw.
he was not this way when our relationship first started.
Mary - he always felt guilty for not continuing his "studies" I guess, we made a major life change and they came by one day... guess he felt it was the right time to go back. Yeah it is extreme, and wierd and awkward.
Thanks Bohm!
Yeah I guess in a way, WBF is right. Of course Pagans have been accused of Devilry for years.
the august km, has an article entitled, "you can witness informally!
" this week's service meeting will cover half of the 13 questions.
next week, congregations will finish the article along with a box full of several experiences with successful results from informal witnessing.
Oh yeah, my The Mr does these alot, particularly 3-6. I just want to put abag over my head when we're somewhere together and he does it. And maybe this is one example for the extreme social awkwardness I notice among your average witness.
Didn't realize it was a "direct order from above" but I guess most things they do are, huh?
i'm just introducing myself before i get to know the site a little.
i'm "libelle," i'm a pagan married to a man who's now a jw.
he was not this way when our relationship first started.
This is the part the tee's me, a 'backslidden' Jehovah's Witness partakes in holiday celebrations with you and then that witness decides to go all into the religion again and he expects everything to change to suit him.
Don't mind me, this is just something that really irritates me about them.
OH yeah, you and me both, amongst the myriad of things that irritates me.
Their mom is not exactly in the picture, but still to a degree (phone calls, occ. visits). That's about all I will say at this point.
Thanks LHL. I appreciate the welcome
