Posts by lil.lady.03

19

Studying just for marriage ?

by Pitchess Co-Gen in

did you notice that some jw's men and women tried to bring in new people just to marry them ?

i saw this with my brother about the year 2001. he met this girl off some chat line.

he liked her, but it was one big problem; she wasn't a jw.

lil.lady.03

I know of the funniest story about studying just for mariage.

“Friends” do things so that they look okay in the congregation, but they still do what they want.

I know of a couple, who are actually getting married in next couple of weeks, they guy was df’d for the longest time and the girl was just beginning to study. He was a heart throb, bad boy with all the sisters. So many girls had a crush on him, but of course, he catches sight or new study girl and BAM! She starts studying even harder and suddenly he gets all “active” again.

They were dating behind everybody’s back and trying to be all innocent when asked about it. Sad thing is, the girl was notorious about getting in brothers faces and flirting with them and jumping from brother to brother (sometimes brothers in the same family) trying to “hook-up" with them. She had a rep already even though she was a study.

So when the guy started announcing she was his girlfriend, a lot of brothers were snickering behind his back about it. Even some of his own family memebers had run-ins with her. But the sad thing is, while she was studying and even after she got baptized, he cheated on her several times. There were girls snickering just as much... I guess they are made for each other. I can only imagine how long they’ll last.

33

Who here lives in California?

by TimothyT in

jw
friends

if you do tell me a bit about where you live in just a few words.

:).

timmy :).

lil.lady.03

@TimothyT: Hahaha! I live in SF Bay Area and I've always had the dream of moving to London or anywhere in the UK. That has always been a dream of mine.

39

My fade has hit the fan!

by SophieG in

jw
friends

hi guys!

well the caca hit the fan!

a friend asked me why i am leaving the org and i told her.

lil.lady.03

WOW!! Your fade story sounds just like mine in a way. I swear, the same thing happened to me when I decided to express myself to a (conditional) friend. It didn't register with her either.

You sound as if you have your mind set!! That is great and is inspirational. I am happy for you.

22

Update: I'M HAVING A BABY!! Yay! but...

by lil.lady.03 in

i don't no why, but i tend to lurk more than i do post.

sometimes i feel like i don't have anything to worth while to talk about.

lol.

lil.lady.03

That's okay Mouthy. You're being honset. Thank you.

I guess I still have my hang-ups I have to work through. I know for SURE I do not want my kids raised as JWs, but I keep having this thought that I won't be able to relate to them because Mommy wasn't raised that way. I don't want to be a broken record saying that through thier life. Especially with holidays. I'm still not fully comfortable clelebrating the holidays.

(*Side note* This might be a TMI but I sure did clelebrate the heck out of Valentine's Day. Three bottles of wine and five months later.... LOL)

The wedding is "scheduled" for next Spring in May. Honestly, I just want to get the baby here first before we start planning a wedding.

I never thought my life would be like this. Hell, five years ago I thought I'd be doing some sort of pioneer stuff for the rest of my life. Marriage and a baby were rthe last thing coming into my mind.

It's like I made a sudden right turn and got off the "predestined JW cycle" that was laid out for me.

I love the journey and how it's turning out!!

22

Update: I'M HAVING A BABY!! Yay! but...

by lil.lady.03 in

i don't no why, but i tend to lurk more than i do post.

sometimes i feel like i don't have anything to worth while to talk about.

lol.

lil.lady.03

Thank you New Chapter! Your name says it all.

It is a New Chapter in life... =]

22

Update: I'M HAVING A BABY!! Yay! but...

by lil.lady.03 in

i don't no why, but i tend to lurk more than i do post.

sometimes i feel like i don't have anything to worth while to talk about.

lol.

lil.lady.03

I don't no why, but I tend to lurk more than I do post. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything to worth while to talk about. LOL

ON THAT NOTE: I am so excited! I'm having a baby. I'm 5 months pregnant and on Friday my fiance and I find out what it is. I hope it is a boy. =]

Besides the morning sickness, it's really hitting me that I am pregnant. lol

I will admit it has be tough. I haven't told most of my family, they're mostly JWs. My mom is still very active and she is excited, but I think she is afraid to tell anyone (her close JW friends) that I am pregnant. She has a twin brother who lives back east and they are very close. He is an elder and she hasn't even told him. It hurts just a lil bit. I want to tell him, but he doesn't talk to me because I've strayed from "the truth". He had kids late in life, they are toddler and grade-school age, and I would love for my child to know them; just from a family sense.

Then I am asking myself just how am I going to raise our child. My fiance doesn't go to church at all, but he does do all the holiday stuff. His family isn't that big on birthday parties. My fiance said when he was little he never had a birthday party or cake. His parents just got some him cheesecake and called it a day. I still find that hard to believe.

It's strange thinking about what am I going to pull back on or reference to my kids about my childhood.

My mom pulled out my baby book the other day and a good amount of my baby pictures were me dressed up at assemblies and gatherings and memorial events. I admit a strong part of me was like, "Wow, my baby isn't going to have that."

I should be happy about that RIGHT?? But I don't know. Even though I know what I know now, and I don't want my kid raised on a JW regiment, I still feel like he's going to miss out on something. I don't know why. I still have happy memeories that I admit were because of the JW "social" experience.

Can any parents post-Borg give any advice on how you're raising your kids. How do you handle the holiday stuff and birthdays? How do you explain your childhood to them? Do you include your JW family on your family events or do you do a reverse shun? Do you talk about god or any type of spiritual stuff?

Besides that I'm getting married to my worldly fiance, but that is for another post. Esp when a JW came out the woodwork on my FB page went fanatical on me when I posted a picture of my enagement ring. LOL!!

6

Religions class!!

by lostandconfused in

jw
friends

i'm taking an intro to world religions college class and today was the first day!

(it's a 5 week advanced class) i'm very excited to learn about other religions, since i really have only known one my whole life.

one of our assignments is to visit a place of worship, totally out of our comfort zone and write a report on it.

lil.lady.03

GO FOR IT! I wish you the best of luck. I'm trying to discover what type of spirituality I want to get into. I still feel a strong spiritual need, but not in a reglious mass setting type of way. I kinda feel too abused to conder joining another reglious sect or demonination.

Interesting enough, I took what I thought at the time was a bs religion quizz, last week. It said it would identify what religion you should consider. My results: NEO-PAGAN!! I laughed so hard! Go figure a fromer JW becomes a pagan. Maybe I just might.

Good luck in your studies!!

10

Tough Question: Should "I" still party with JWs?

by lil.lady.03 in

jw
friends

"ello everybody!

it's been a long time.

a couple of months, i guess.. i have a dilemma, kinda, and i would take any suggestions or offers.. so, i've been inactive now for a whole year now.. by now, i'm sure word has spread of my inactiveness.

lil.lady.03

darth forsty: hmm... food for thought. Esp. your 2nd point. I never felt guilty when I was active and I talked to DF folks or inactive folks. (call it a soft spot. I thought I was showing them I was different and cared about them, not thier standing. That still was a bs move to make when I think about it now. Because hopefully they would see they needed to be back in the org.)

But not everyone feels the same.

I just read some post about the new article about being mentally diseased. What a joke, but I understand the "mental pressure" JWs go though when they think they are being disloyal, although really they're just being human. SMH!

10

Tough Question: Should "I" still party with JWs?

by lil.lady.03 in

jw
friends

"ello everybody!

it's been a long time.

a couple of months, i guess.. i have a dilemma, kinda, and i would take any suggestions or offers.. so, i've been inactive now for a whole year now.. by now, i'm sure word has spread of my inactiveness.

lil.lady.03

Thanks mamalove! I am trying to mentally remove myself still from thinking of them as my friends. There are some people I still deeply care about and always will, but I guess I;m realizing I have to do that from a distance now. Also that it might not to reciprocated. *sigh* that's is the hard part. There hve always been JWs who say, "no. I never be like that with family or friends. I'd love them anyway." *crickets*

A part of me thougt I'd still be accepted irreguardless of my choices, but I'm finally seeing firt hand that that isn't the case with JWs.

@ lostandconfused: Yeah, I'm finally getting around to admitting that maybe my social awkwardness to attributed to being raised as a JW. I never wanted to admit that. I've always have said, "No, maybe it is me." IDK. I wasn't super popluar as a witness either, so Idk. But I think I'm cool. I'd be friends with me.

@ MRFREEZE: Thanks for the guy perspective. LOL. My brother said, "If the only thing you get out of it is free drinks, then maybe it won't be so bad." Lmao.

10

Tough Question: Should "I" still party with JWs?

by lil.lady.03 in

jw
friends

"ello everybody!

it's been a long time.

a couple of months, i guess.. i have a dilemma, kinda, and i would take any suggestions or offers.. so, i've been inactive now for a whole year now.. by now, i'm sure word has spread of my inactiveness.

lil.lady.03

Hay thanks guys! You all are right. If I'm having anxiety over it then I shouldn't do it.

I've had social anxiety for years, and still suffer from it when I meet new people. Like I have to take a few deep breathes and literally wait until the feeling passes. So a part of me was just saying, "oh, you always get nervous at any party or any big group thing.. Get over your self and go!"

But then again I do need to listen to my gut feeling.

To answer N.drew question: I know for a fact that these attendees aren't super rightous. Very liberal JWs, if that is even possible. yet still they are JWs and very much IN, no matter how normal they claim to be. So I already know eyebrows will be raised if I walk in. LOL. And I used to be considered a goodytwo shoes, but I guess I went "bad", so I'm sure I'd be considered bad fruit or mentally diseased.

To new chapter: I asked my borther the same thing. He responed, "would I really be having fun if I had to dodge ppl and make an effort to be on the defense. I said, "no." So yeah... Too many cons on the list so I guess I should say no. And no. I haven't made too many friends since I I have left.

I've joined meetups and book clubs, so I have been having plenty of socail interactions, but nothing as deep as I could say I THOUGHT I had in the truth. Where everybody is automatically your friend.

I hung out with a friend a three weeks, who is a witness. She is very depressed due to a recent job loss. It was awkward. I didn't feel at ease like I used too. I had to watch everything that I said. I let a few Fbombs drop and it was awkward.