Posts by Nice

15

Those Dubbies and their surprise visits...

by undercover in

jw
friends

i don't know which is worse.... dubs that drop by unanounced and want to confront you on your inactivity and your apparent lack of zeal for truth and love of jehovah, thus setting up a potential argument that could get ugly real fast.

dubs that drop by unanounced and feign friendship, chatting away like old times, yet they've got a bible in their hand and they insist putting wt/awake mags in my hand before they leave (like i can't download it for free from the internet) and since they've been friendly enough it would be bad form to jump their shit and antagonize the situation.

knowing they're indoctrinated, i'm sure that they're actually trying to be sincere in their efforts.

Nice_Dream

I hate when they stop by unexpectedly and catch you by surprise. We had a "friendly visit" and received a copy of both magazines after the elder went back to the car to get them. Unfortunately we were in our driveway and waited for him to come back. I really wanted to ask him why he didn't bring our study copies of the Watchtower when we first started to miss meetings, and waited 8 months to drop off public editions we could just download instead.

I have a feeling it's going to be tricky doing yardwork out front in April with all those pioneers driving by.

I hope your partner will join you one day too undercover.

20

So Caitlin isn't ignored as the other kids pass Valentines at school

by cabasilas in

i'm getting my education degree this year and am working in a practicum placement in an elementary classroom (5th grade).

it's a very practical way to see first-hand how teachers teach, discipline and help mold their students.

one student is a jw.

Nice_Dream

What a beautiful idea! The other children learn about diversity, and the little girl gets to feel loved and special. I also felt really left out on Valentine's Day (who doesn't want to decorate a cool mailbox and deliver letters!?) When I was in Grade 3, one girl made me a special card that was in the shape of my initial and told me how special I was. I haven't forgot about it to this day. It helps JWs realize that "wordly" people aren't bad, and are loving.

10

Is it wrong to teach your kids how to think?

by garyneal in

jw
friends

okay, i know better than to ask this group that question.

critical thinking helps people to see propaganda as it is being presented and enables people to see through lies and other bs disguised as 'truth.'.

yet, my wife told me tonight that she did not want me to teach our child how to think.

Nice_Dream

No, it's not the teacher's reponsibility, it's the parents. Your wife is concerned about you teaching your children how to think critically of the Watchtower. "Independent thinking" is frowned upon...or mislabeled as "prideful."

19

wife seen part of "dateline" online, about pedophile in JW land

by inbetween in

a short update on my situation.. i am still in, trying to help my family to see the light.

my wife is open to critisize certain aspects of the wts, reads wt articles with a critical mind, but she still views them as gods org, and at times can get quit defensive about it.. last night though, she seemed devastated about a program she watched, reagrding pedophiles (dateline i guess).

she was very disturbed, even to the point of being depressed.

Nice_Dream

inbetween - Here is a link to the official JW media site that has their child abuse policy: http://www.jw-media.org/aboutjw/article23.htm It also mentions what happens if the accused denies it.

"If the accused denies the charge, the two elders may arrange for him and the victim to restate their position in each other’s presence, with elders also there. If during that meeting the accused still denies the charges and there are no others who can substantiate them, the elders cannot take action within the congregation at that time." (2nd paragraph)

19

wife seen part of "dateline" online, about pedophile in JW land

by inbetween in

a short update on my situation.. i am still in, trying to help my family to see the light.

my wife is open to critisize certain aspects of the wts, reads wt articles with a critical mind, but she still views them as gods org, and at times can get quit defensive about it.. last night though, she seemed devastated about a program she watched, reagrding pedophiles (dateline i guess).

she was very disturbed, even to the point of being depressed.

Nice_Dream

It would be nice if you could somehow mention the organization's policy for child abuse stating that if the accused abuser doesn't admit they did anything, the elders have a meeting with the abuser and the child together. That is so wrong! Why would Jehovah allow them to have such a backwards policy? That child would be so frightened.

Little seeds like that might keep adding up and eventually your wife will see it's just like any other religion.

84

Being honest with yourself, could you have reasonably adjusted your attitude and continued on as a JW?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this question in harmony with deedub's swan song thread which i linked below.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/205902/1/time-to-say-good-bye.

to some degree, i think i understand where she's coming from.

just speaking from my own experiences since stepping into the world of anonymous apostacy, i went through a few different phases of personal outlooks.

Nice_Dream

Our hall wasn't a warm and fuzzy one like yours MLE, so it was an easy choice for me. I struggled for years to be friends with women with WAY too much drama and unhappiness, who gossiped about you as soon as you left the room. I began to avoid going to meetings because I didn't want to worry if Sister Moody was going to be kind to me or ignore me because she felt like it.

Like MrMonroe, I believed it really was God's org, so I put up with feeling like crap because I wanted to please God. Once I realized it wasn't God's org, that was the end of it for me. I am much happier being out than I ever was in.

19

Did having children make you a better or worse JW

by journey-on in

jw
friends

after i had children, i changed gradually in the way i thought about the religion i was raised in.

one day, it dawned on me that if my child was injured in an accident and needed blood to survive, there was no way in the world i would say "no" to a blood transfusion.

why continue the charade?

Nice_Dream

When I first had our child, I wanted to put him in a little bubble to stay a perfect JW when he was older. But eventually I realized that idea was ridiculous, and I didn't want him to suffer the things I did as a child just because the Watchtower said so. I didn't like trying to make him sit still for 2 hours at the meeting as an infant, or keep him in a carseat for 2 hours on service. It seemed so unnatural.

Most importantly, I would never refuse blood to save his life. Why should I push my religious beliefs on him? It wasn't fair.

So having a child made me a worse JW, but a much better, happier person.

43

Is it just human nature to gossip or are JW's worse? Feelings are hurt....

by mamalove in

jw
friends

it is so strange how once you distance yourself from your kingdom hall and friends, that they find it necesary to discuss and contemplate your departure and put out all kinds of statements that simply are not true.. i am licking my wounds today because some kind of nasty things were said about me to a friend of mine who is df, from her ubber righteous sister.

it was via text, so it was there to read.

the thing i can't figure out is i have nothing to do with this woman.

Nice_Dream

Witnesses like to keep busy gossiping to divert attention off their own lives. It makes some people feel good to bring others down. Try not to let it bother you Mama Love, it just shows what you're missing out on...same old, same old. Being talked about behind your back. But now you don't have to pretend to be these people's friends.

Some former JWs were gossiping about me, saying I was having an affair with an elder's kids even though I haven't been to meetings in amost a year and hadn't talked to these former witnesses for years. Seriously!? I had to laugh at them, who makes that garbage up?

My husband was also recently talked about for having a beard, saying he looked like a Muslim. This spread around a few halls. Seriously, these people must have boring lives if we're the topic of conversation.

Just know that you're not "bad news." Keep your head up and live an amazing life. They'll see that they are the ones missing out on having a real life.

86

Are you a fader, Df'd, DA'd, or Still In?

by brotherdan in

i thought this would be an interesting poll that would show everyone the backgrounds of all of us when we left, if we have.. for myself, i am not df'd, but i am attempting a fade.

i still go to some meetings with the wife to help with kids, but that's it.

no commenting or field service.. what about everyone else?.

Nice_Dream

I haven't been in almost a year, and never plan on going back. We still get the occasional elder visit and congregation invite, but we don't respond.

38

Has anyone knocked on your door recently?

by dysfunction in

i am a housewife, and no one has knocked on my door to spread the "truth",not even on the weekends.

question, has anyone experienced this... or has the preaching work slowed down?

or are the witnesses less active, zealous?.

Nice_Dream

They were coming monthly for the past while to check on us (we're fading), but since the snow, we haven't seen them for 3 months!

Nice_Dream

Posts by Nice_Dream