At this moment in time, I am currently a JW and work for a school in Birmingham UK.
I know alot of people on this site are not Jehovahs Witnesses and from their postings have no time for them.
But anyway......
About two years ago I split up with my girlfriend and ended up on the scrap heap - I was devestated. I had a breakdown and was on anti-depressants for a period of time. In the meantime afterwards I met another Sister and started courting her. I still hadn't got over my previous girlfriend and treated my present girlfriend really bad. I had no intention to be serious - I was just on the rebound.
We split up 4 months later, my head was even more screwed up because I know I had hurt her really bad and I wasn't over my previous GF! I begged her to take me back. She just wouldn't have it and basically told me to move on.
In the following months I ended up in hospital with Pericarditus(muscle swelling around the heart) and was very ill. After that my ex-girlfriend started to get in contact with me and to see how I was. I even then tried to sort things out and try again, but she didn't understand how I had felt previously and that I had made a genuine mistake, she still knocked me back. Then around December last year she asked me to go out for dinner with her - I was tempted and agreed. She let me down at the last minute. I snapped! Told her not to bother me again if all she was going to do was let me down!(as it wasn't the first time she had arranged to meet up and then let me down).
After leaving Hospital I spent a lot of time on my own and started applying for other jobs - I was delighted to geta job which was good money and convenient hours.
Anyway, I started my job and began enjoying it but unfortunately since, I have been bullied in my job and as a result, my health has suffered. When im stressed it starts to show up because I start to have sore throats and mouth ulcers. Having had a breakdown before, all the symptoms came back and my rebuilt confidence is now in tatters
I have been off work now for 7 weeks and don't want to go back. I am back on sleeping tablets and feel in despair. I feel all the good work I have put in has been ruined by my boss at work and all the belief in the Truth has not made me feel any better. I feel incapable of doing anything. I have come off the Ministry School and dont go out with friends anymore. They think I am a social recluse! I would rather spend my time at home, and to stay away from people.
My friends call/text me to tell me the latest girls they are going out with etc, but I am not interested in dating anymore - I can't be bothered! I just laugh at them and tell them they "are mad" to get involved with anyone!
What is wrong with me? I feel totally out of energy and useless. I feel that no girls want to be bothered with me because of my reputation with disasterous relationships. I only mentioned two but there are others!!
Anyone got any advice?!
Rich Nice x
