It sounds almost like the philosophical divide between the two of you, FF, was the straw that broke the camel's back, as opposed the the entire bale. I may be stretching here, but I suspect you would not have defined your marriage as a 9/10.
Nickolas
JoinedPosts by Nickolas
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43
Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?
by Nickolas ini know a woman, became a wife .
these are the very words she uses to describe her life .
she said a good day, ain't got no rain .
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43
Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?
by Nickolas ini know a woman, became a wife .
these are the very words she uses to describe her life .
she said a good day, ain't got no rain .
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Nickolas
This is a bit of a tangent from the OP, but interesting enough to prolong for a little while, Curtains. The common situation is two people married to one another who are polarised with respect to their belief systems and how that affects their lives together. Where we may not be the same is the sentiment expressed in your last statement above. The end of our marriage would be devastating to both my wife and me, so neither one of us would be happy in the circumstance. If, to extend the hypothetical, a husband becomes so obsessed with the divide that separates him from his wife that he takes to drinking excessively, the most logical perspective for the wife would be to urge him to seek counselling rather than threaten to leave him. The next most logical thing might be for her to consider closing the divide in some way, compromise, to get her man off the booze. The problem is not that each partner believes something different, it's that they are living their lives in ways that are incompatible. Back to my particular circumstance, my wife would need only give ground in a few key areas, far less than I have had to compromise myself over the years, to close the divide. It is when there is no further room for compromise that marriages go south.
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Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?
by Nickolas ini know a woman, became a wife .
these are the very words she uses to describe her life .
she said a good day, ain't got no rain .
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Nickolas
Thank you for that, wannaexit. Very much appreciated.
as to alcohol addiction - I would definitely leave if my husband became addicted to alcohol and if he did not seek help that enabled him to stop being addicted. I simply would not tolerate having to put up with my children tiptoeing around him. So yes if my husband became so wrapped up in his jw beliefs that he completely lost his ability to reason and became very very self centered and destructive as one would if one became an alcoholic - I would definitely consider leaving him.
Chicken and egg. I am cognisant of consuming more alcohol when my mind goes to the subject of the OP. My doctor advises that my usual level of consumption is not a health risk, but she also advises that periodically consuming alcohol to numb one's emotions is self medication that can lead to abuse and attendant health issues if the emotional issue is not held in check. After all this time I know it's not going to happen to me, but if I got to the point of alcohol abuse it might be me who is faced with the same decision you're referring to, Curtains. Again, not my situation, but if it's your spouse who's driving you to drink excessively, on who's shoulders does the problem belong? Is it not both?
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Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?
by Nickolas ini know a woman, became a wife .
these are the very words she uses to describe her life .
she said a good day, ain't got no rain .
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Nickolas
Yeah. Cognitive dissonance. One of my many JWN learnings.
Good night.
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124
Are JWs the worst restaurant customers?
by Alfred in(a little background info before i ask my question...).
my sister-in-law (non-jw), who manages a popular chain restaurant near a kingdom hall, just found out that my wife and i have recently faded, so she decided to get something off her chest the other day... you guessed it: she wanted us to know that jws are the worst customers ever!
she then told us some really embarrassing stories about how jws would request a table for 15 to 20 people (after a sunday meeting) and then (when the bill came) some of the jws would start deliberating amongst themselves on whether or not the waiter was diligent or not (to justify the low tip he was getting anyway).
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Nickolas
I am against tipping. I think the restaurant should charge me for food and service. I should decide to go back or not to the restaurant if I like the food and service... The restaurant should pay their employees.. IF the employees dont make enough money then they should get a different job.
Perhaps. Have you ever heard of a car dealership that doesn't allow haggling? I know of a couple that tried, and their business dried up. You're right that it's cultural. People expect to be able to haggle at a car dealership and people expect to have a say in how well a restaurant server is compensated depending on how well they're treated. That's the way it is. Servers get minimum wage and if they want more they'd better do a good job. Not believing in tipping is irrelevant. It's getting a free ride on the backs of the minimum wage restaurant servers.
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The Watchtower Proselytizer's road to hell
by Nickolas inthere is an old proverb that says the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
take heed.. how many people have you harmed in your life, even when you didn't intend to?.
former witnesses on this board have expressed regret and shame for having gone door to door luring people into the watchtower.
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Nickolas
He`s living in Hell to be with his family..
which, I suppose, goes directly to the OP. Hell of a price to pay.
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43
Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?
by Nickolas ini know a woman, became a wife .
these are the very words she uses to describe her life .
she said a good day, ain't got no rain .
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Nickolas
I see it this way if asking for the divorce wakes him up than I did the right thing...if it does not wake him up than I did the right thing.
Win/win for you, win/lose for him. I hope however it works out that your new life is a happier one. Sad what this religion does to people.
All the best.
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The Watchtower Proselytizer's road to hell
by Nickolas inthere is an old proverb that says the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
take heed.. how many people have you harmed in your life, even when you didn't intend to?.
former witnesses on this board have expressed regret and shame for having gone door to door luring people into the watchtower.
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Nickolas
I like your solution, PublishingCult. If this is what you are actually doing, you are anti-proselytizing. This is a cut and paste from a thread I started a few months ago. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/203114/1/Shackled-to-the-Watchtower-A-distinction-every-Jehovahs-Witness-should-acknowledge
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You got that right mr. Nick. That is way we don't put any effort to sucker in any new slaves for the two faced Monsters.
This is a stunning comment. It at least implies that the Watchtower has anti-salesmen going door to door as a direct consequence of their disfellowshipping policy.
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This kind of activity contributes to the internal rot of the WTBTS, and I endorse and applaud it. It's subversive and it is courageous. If you are still in and waiting for the opportune moment to get out, you could do no better than this. Aside from the appearance of solidarity and devotion you are projecting to the unknowing bystander watching you go door to door, you might even be doing the world a greater service by staying in. Probably are. The door you visit and close on the Watchtower is one less vulnerable.
I agree with your point, OUTLAW. Cutting those who didn't know any better some slack, certainly if they've paid the price by leaving. Those who have left and contribute to the education of visitors to this board and others are directly making amends, because they are undermining the Watchtower, too. I'm less inclined to cut slack to those who carry on in earnest to put in appearances. I realise it's not easy to leave, but why compromise your personal integrity when you know one day you will pay the piper, even if the piper is your own conscience?
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The Watchtower Proselytizer's road to hell
by Nickolas inthere is an old proverb that says the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
take heed.. how many people have you harmed in your life, even when you didn't intend to?.
former witnesses on this board have expressed regret and shame for having gone door to door luring people into the watchtower.
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Nickolas
My perspective is you don't need faith to be a good person or to lead a happy life, and where there is no need to compromise oneself to achieve those things one simply shouldn't. If the compromise one must make extends to compromising the lives of others, then a line has clearly been crossed. That is precisely what has changed me from being tolerant toward the Watchtower to being intolerant. It should not matter to anyone what someone else holds to be true, so long as that person does no harm. It matters not to me if you are a Muslim, but it will matter to me if you promote jihad. It matters not to me if you are a Jehovah's Witness, but it will matter to me if your faith insinuates itself into my life or the life of my family and diminishes it, just as much as you might object if the thing I represent or espouse impacts those you love. You will rather I just not be in the picture.
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26
The Watchtower Proselytizer's road to hell
by Nickolas inthere is an old proverb that says the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
take heed.. how many people have you harmed in your life, even when you didn't intend to?.
former witnesses on this board have expressed regret and shame for having gone door to door luring people into the watchtower.
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Nickolas
Are Jehovah's Witnesses worse than Army recruiters? Interesting parallel. I think the answer, mle, is circumstantial. There is a place for the use of military might - I think the current effort to oust Gadhafi might qualify, although the jury's still out. Certainly bringing down the Nazis did (with our without headphones). The answer, I think, is no, but it's not a question of what's worse, it's a question of what's bad.
