Why Did I Have to Be an Adopted Child?THAT is how one man, who was given up for adoption at birth, describes his life. He continues: "Practically every day of your life, your heart yearns to know answers to questions like, Who is my real family? Where are they living? Why did they abandon me?" Chantial, whose father was adopted, laments that she does not know who her biological grandparents are. She says: "I feel cheated because of not having the association of my uncles, aunts, and cousins." Not all adopted children feel this way. But some do. Why? A Cause of AngerLearning that one has been separated from one's biological family can send a child into an emotional tailspin. Catrina, who was adopted at an early age, says: "I had a problem with rage because I didn't understand why my birth mother gave me up. I felt that my mother was abandoning me because I was ugly and unlovable. If she would only give me a chance, I knew I could make her proud of me. Every thought of my birth mother only increased my level of anger." Catrina's relationship with her adoptive parents likewise came under great stress. "I felt that my adoptive parents took me away from my real mother," she says. "So I took my anger out on them." Yes, anger is sometimes a reaction to having been put up for adoption. Such anger can be dangerous. Sometimes, as Catrina's case suggests, you might tend to vent your anger in the wrong ways or take it out on the wrong people. The Bible counsels: "Let anger alone and leave rage." (Psalm 37:8) How is that possible? Well, God's Word also says: "The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger." (Proverbs 19:11) Insight into your own situation may help to ease your anger. How so? Your being adopted is evidence that someone loved you enough to take you in and care for you Correcting False AssumptionsInsight can help you to examine the assumptions that fuel your anger. For example, if you were adopted, do you assume that your biological parents must have given you away because there was something wrong with you? That was how Catrina felt. But is that always the case? It may be impossible to determine what motivated your parents, but there are good reasons to avoid such a negative assumption. After all, why do parents usually give children up for adoption? Often, they feel that they have no other choice. Consider the example of Moses. The Bible account inExodus chapter 2 tells us that when the Egyptian Pharaoh decreed genocide against male Israelite babies, Jochebed kept her infant son, Moses, hidden for three months. Finally, hiding was no longer possible, but she could not bear to see her child executed. So "when she was no longer able to conceal him, she then took for him an ark of papyrus and coated it with bitumen and pitch and put the child in it and put it among the reeds by the bank of the river Nile."—Exodus 2:3. Abandoning her child in this manner was no doubt a very difficult thing for her to do. But what choice did she have? Her love for her son prompted her to do what she thought was best for him. Interestingly, her daughter stood guard nearby and remained until she saw that her baby brother was safely picked up. She may well have done so at the request of her anxious mother. Of course, not all cases of adoption are prompted by such clear-cut emergencies, but motives are often similar. Robert says: "I was conceived out of wedlock. Raising me would have put a heavy burden on my mother's household, since there were other children in the family. She may have reasoned that it was in my best interests to give me up for adoption." Granted, there are many reasons why children are given to other families to raise. But as these examples illustrate, it is not necessarily because the mother hates her baby or sees some defect in her child. In many cases, the mother sincerely believes that the child will be better off if raised by another family. The Value of Being LovedGaining insight may help you further when you think about why you were adopted. Consider again Moses' example. In time, "the daughter of Pharaoh picked him up and brought him up as her own son." (Acts 7:21) What motivated Pharaoh's daughter to extend her protection to a child she knew to be one of the condemned Hebrews? "Here the boy was weeping," the Bible says. "At that she felt compassion for him." (Exodus 2:6) Yes, Moses' adoption was the result, not of his being hated or rejected, but of his being loved. Many adopted children come to realize that their biological parents did not simply abandon them—although that happens all too often these days—but presented them to some agency that would ensure that they would be cared for properly. And their subsequent adoption occurred because someone loved them enough to undertake their care. Might something similar be said of you? Focusing on the love you have received and valuing it can help to ease any pain you may feel. Furthermore, you may receive love from others besides your adoptive family. If you are part of the Christian congregation, you can enjoy the benefits of having many spiritual mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers who love you. (Mark 10:29-30) Christian elders can "prove to be like a hiding place from the wind and a place of concealment from the rainstorm, like streams of water in a waterless country, like the shadow of a heavy crag in an exhausted land." (Isaiah 32:2) Do not hesitate to seek out mature fellow Christians and confide in them. Let them know what is on your mind and in your heart. Robert feels that it is important to develop strong ties within the Christian congregation. "The emptiness I feel is still there," he acknowledges. "However, the love of my spiritual family pushes it off into a little corner of my heart." You Can SucceedSo resist false and negative thinking. That includes the notion that success in life might somehow elude you because you were adopted. Such negative thoughts can prove very discouraging! (Proverbs 24:10) Besides, they have no basis in fact. Remember, Moses made the most of the opportunities afforded him. The Bible says: "Consequently Moses was instructed in all the wisdom of the Egyptians. In fact, he was powerful in his words and deeds." (Acts 7:22) More important, Moses took in spiritual instruction—so much so that his heavenly Father, Jehovah, was entirely real to him. (Hebrews 11:27) Did he succeed in life? Well, Moses later became leader of a mighty nation of perhaps three million or more. He became a prophet, judge, commander, historian, mediator of the Law covenant, and writer of the first five books of the Bible. In addition, he is generally credited with writing the book ofJob and Psalm 90. Yes, Moses lived a very successful life. Many adopted children similarly succeed, and so can you. Robert successfully raised two children and is currently serving as an elder in the Christian congregation. Looking back over his years as an adopted child, he says: "I have learned not to keep dwelling on what I can't fix but to be grateful for the blessings I have." If you are presently living in a foster home or have been adopted into a family, negative thoughts might assail you at times. But try to replace them with positive ones.Philippians 4:8, 9 promises that "the God of peace will be with you" if you "continue considering" things that are pleasing to God. What, though, are some further practical steps you can take to succeed while living with your adoptive family? A future article in this series will address that question. |
3dogs1husband
JoinedPosts by 3dogs1husband
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Why Did I Have to Be an Adopted Child? - Another HORRID ARTICLE From the Creators of Throw Sparlock in the bin
by 3dogs1husband inhttp://www.watchtower.org/e/20030422a/article_01.htm.
omg they do not even have the current adoption pc lingo down.
wrong on sooo many level i would have to be a shrink to count them, and just think it is just a first instalment.
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3dogs1husband
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Why Did I Have to Be an Adopted Child? - Another HORRID ARTICLE From the Creators of Throw Sparlock in the bin
by 3dogs1husband inhttp://www.watchtower.org/e/20030422a/article_01.htm.
omg they do not even have the current adoption pc lingo down.
wrong on sooo many level i would have to be a shrink to count them, and just think it is just a first instalment.
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3dogs1husband
By the way you will find few JW's that have adopted ..... I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE :)
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Why Did I Have to Be an Adopted Child? - Another HORRID ARTICLE From the Creators of Throw Sparlock in the bin
by 3dogs1husband inhttp://www.watchtower.org/e/20030422a/article_01.htm.
omg they do not even have the current adoption pc lingo down.
wrong on sooo many level i would have to be a shrink to count them, and just think it is just a first instalment.
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3dogs1husband
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20030422a/article_01.htm
OMG they do not even have the current adoption pc lingo down. Wrong on sooo many level I would have to be a shrink to count them, and just think it is just a first instalment. Seriously I wanna discuss it but it is making me ill.
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3dogs1husband
ohhh good idea - I have been saving my purple body suit!!!!!!
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3dogs1husband
NEVER!!!! there is way to many talented people out there making fun stuff like this:
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After seeing Sparlock movie
by Gorbatchov intoday i had some time to see the sparlock movie.. first at all i want to thank my jw parents for giving me a free youth within the jw belief.
i was gifted with a great fantasy.
i played daily characters like tank general (on my bike), secret service employee (behind the couch), the family wizard (with tricks) and soldier... my parents knew it, and loved it.. this dvd is not representative of all jw family's!.
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3dogs1husband
Yes I agree which is why the contol is getting tighter...we escaped!
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Let's get this memorial party started!
by Megachusen ini'm being forced to go to this one by my family members so i thought i'd write this out in disgust: http://apostarad.blogspot.com/2012/04/memorial-time-again.html.
i'm serious about getting wasted before i go, by the way.
this will be a night to be remembered..
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3dogs1husband
I am here!!!!
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exJW artist,,, amazing paintings, and heart-warming video. :))
by talesin ini came across this artist in my internet travels .... his paintings are just,, well, you have to see them for yourself!
it's abstract expressionism at its finest, and easy to relate to the symbolism, especially as explained in the vid.
many of you, reading this, may find joy and release in expressing yourself in artistic mediums; here's what can happen if you 'go for it'.
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3dogs1husband
thanks for making this current again...I seen something on him before and had forgotten!
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exJW artist,,, amazing paintings, and heart-warming video. :))
by talesin ini came across this artist in my internet travels .... his paintings are just,, well, you have to see them for yourself!
it's abstract expressionism at its finest, and easy to relate to the symbolism, especially as explained in the vid.
many of you, reading this, may find joy and release in expressing yourself in artistic mediums; here's what can happen if you 'go for it'.
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3dogs1husband
thanks for making this current again...I seen something on him before and had forgotten!
