Noted in the UK press:
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS DATA SHEET
ELEMENT - Woman
SYMBOL - Wo
DISCOVERER - Adam
ATOMIC MASS - Accepted as 100lbs, but known to vary from 90lbs - 455lbs
OCCURRENCE - Found in large quantities in urban areas, with trace elements in outlying regions.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES - Boils at absolutely nothing, freezes for no apparent reason. Melts if given special treatment, bitter if used incorrectly.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES - Affinity to gold, silver, platinum and all precious stones. The most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USE - Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. Can be a very effective cleaning agent.
HAZARDS - Highly dangerous, except in experienced hands. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.