Oubliette: I googled your question, a few sites came up. Take a look.
Hmmm....so some good suggestions were given. Move seat location, Say little about it, Put my arm around my wife first. Sit next to the Lesbian, Ask the Lesbian to massage my back next.
There is such a wealth of wisdom on this site. Thanks. But, I can't stop thinking that some are really holding out. Come on now, What more can be done?