Ray, do you think the elders would go behind your back if you straight up told them they cannot baptize your children until they are 18? I would definately tell them. I seem to remember a recent experience in the watchtower or yearbook about a young girl waiting to get baptized because her unbelieving father wanted her to get an education first and that was respected by the elders.
Man, if your wife and the body of elders would do that than I would say it is even more imperative that you speed things up. Every day that the witnesses way of life is "normal" the more damage is being done.
Good luck
pbrow