Posts by pbrow

85

Hello--new to the witnesses...and you

by LKM in

jw
friends

just wanted to introduce myself.

i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.

i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.

pbrow

lkm,

I dont know any other way to say this. Your boyfriend needs to man up for his children. If you in any way pretend that the dubs are the normal way of life you will have an extremely difficult time in your future. He needs to sacrifice his past friendships and family contacts for the emotional well being of his future, his kids, you. Do you want your kids around people that think that you are a mistake??!! I dont mean to be extreme but you are dealing with a fundamentalist religion. You can deal with it. Your boyfriend can deal with it. Your children's mindset and how they see the world are being formed right now, with the help of the Jehovahs Witnesses. As long as they are in contact with Jehovah's Witnessess the bubble will be present. Burst the bubble!! Get them involved in as many things as possible. You will be amazed how quickly your children will reject the JW bubble when you and your boyfriend are not pretending that you are in! Let the kids see you take a stand instead of just "fading" Fading has its place but its not when you have children being raised in the religion.

Think about it from your kids perspective. Show them that you are willing to make a stand!! Fading when you have kids still associated with the "society" is the wrong move. Make his family loosen their rigid stance when it comes to shunning if they want to have contact with their grandkids. Its harsh but it is the best way if you have kids inside. Remember, your number one goal is to make sure the kids do not get baptized into this religion. I am speaking with passion because this is exactly what I am dealing with now.

I wish you the best.

pbrow

85

Hello--new to the witnesses...and you

by LKM in

jw
friends

just wanted to introduce myself.

i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.

i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.

pbrow

lkm,

Ill tell you what I tell everyone who is out but has kids in the "truth" with an ex or believing mate. You cannot afford to go back in and fade if you have kids that are in. You cannot afford to pretend that the witness way of life is the normal way of life. Your children will suffer if you go back in and then fade. Get your kids involved in sports, school activities and anything else you can think of. Show your children that a normal, balanced approach to life is better than the bubble that the wintesses try to raise their children in. If you go in and fade, then birthdays are still evil, christmas is still evil, saying bless you is still evil, sports are still evil. If you question whether they are evil you are right back to square one. So dont go back, show your kids first hand that these things are not evil by allowing them to participate in as many as possible. Give them the proper balance and critical thinking skills and the other parent and effed up meetings will do the rest to destroy the bubble. Meetings can serve a purpose, if your kids are getting the proper balance then the meetings will actually help you. Believe me it works!!

pbrow

26

My teen daughter is being pressured to get baptized :(

by lola-rabbit in

my oldest teenage daughter (15) is a publisher and goes to all meetings with her father (we divorced, he picks her up).

i try to get her more involved in school and to spend more time with friends outside the congregation.

i'm to the point where i'm going to simply forbid it and send her off to collage early!

pbrow

hey lola,

I think you are on the right track with trying to get her involved with school activities and friends outside of the org. I would keep focused on the positive things like debate, sports, student council and all the other opportunities that you can. If you can help pop the witness bubble I think kids will not choose to be baptized in the religion.

It is not my intent for this to be judgemental towards you lola, maybe just as a word of precaution to those going through a similar situation. My take is if you have young children and a spouse or ex-spouse that is a beleiver you CANNOT fade! If you fade, you make the JW life normal and as a former born-in, let me tell you that is what makes it so hard to get out when your older. Get fully out! I agree with biblestudent, do birthdays, christmas and show her that these things are about family traditions, not 3000 year old pagan customs. Get out and let your kids see first hand the power that personal conviction can have. My goal is that my kids will not choose to be baptized members. That goal is worth more than losing any friendship or family members (and I have lost them) that I had in the organization. If you play defensive and sit on the wall and hide your true feelings you are showing your kids (at least for the time being) that the JW life IS the normal life.

pbrow

6

Disassociation Question ?

by smiddy in

my querry is : if you disassociate yourself from a congregation,do they send you a letter confirming this action ?

and if not, and it`s read out at a meeting that you took this action are you able to get confirmation that you actually did this ?.

i know this may sound silly, but i dont recall doing this many years ago,as has been recently claimed by someone i contacted.. smiddy.

pbrow

smiddy,

i da'd myself within the past year. I handed my letter to a long time elder friend. He tried to give me the speech "whenever you are ready to come back" and I simply told him I was never coming back. That was the only confirmation I received. I have a mother who is still in and all they did was innocently tell the congregation that i was "no longer a witness"

pbrow

15

Amber Alerts???

by KingDavidwasframed in

http://tommygunzrlz.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/amber-alert/.

why can't we have aa's for our kids?.

pbrow

King, do you live in the same area as your children? What kind of custody/placement do you have with them?

King, you have my sympathies. I cannot help but get anxious just readying your story and thinking of mine. King, I think your situation is exactly the reason why we as fathers need to not "fade out" or slowly remove ourselves from this group. Anyone that is in a similar situation, you need to get out and show your children, especially your young children a normal life. Birthdays, Christmas, sports, band, dancing, whatever. Give them a normal life and the witness way of life becomes much harder for them to accept. I was a born in as well and when all you ever here is that birthdays are all about putting your self above all others and god, oh and by the way, they cut christians heads off at birthdays, that is going to make sense. But when you let them celebrate birthdays and show that that is not what birthdays are about they have a reference point to counter the witness reasoning.

I understand that people want to keep family contacts in place but if you have small kids I feel that fading is extremely dangerous. You are in essence making the dub way of life normal, which is easy when they are small, but the real pressure mounts when they are teens and above. Thats when the pressure to stop associating with the apostates will start to mount.

Parents with young children.... get our for your kids!! If you value your relationship with your children, past present and future then there is NOTHING more important that keeping your kids out of this group.

pbrow

17

IT BOILS ME!! (Venting)

by pubtruth in

well my uncle just called me and told me he was visiting tomorrow, asking about family and such.

good, no objection to that.

he asked to put mom on the phone, so i did.

pbrow

Bro, your 20, get a job or two or three and gtfo! The org has a hold on you only because you allow it. At the end of the day it is really that simple

good luck, you can do it.

pbrow

13

Just got back from watching Planet of the apes.....

by watersprout in

jw
friends

and it was frickin...lickin...awesome!!!!!!!!!!.

one of the best films i have seen in a long time!.

during the opening scene where the wild apes were taken my blood was boiling as i know that really does go on.

pbrow

I guess that would explain the visceral reaction to the testing scenes then. my bad.

pbrow

13

Just got back from watching Planet of the apes.....

by watersprout in

jw
friends

and it was frickin...lickin...awesome!!!!!!!!!!.

one of the best films i have seen in a long time!.

during the opening scene where the wild apes were taken my blood was boiling as i know that really does go on.

pbrow

Watersprout... do you like steak? Millions of animals dying for human needs

What kind of criminals should testing be done on?

The movie does look good.

pbrow

5

What's wrong with the spirit of competition?

by ldrnomo in

jw
friends

pbrow

I agree, being competitive is a natural thing. Yet again, instead of dubs using life as a teaching tool they just automatically put it in a negative light. Board games or sports are perfect avenues to teach our kids to be humble winners and to be gracious in defeat but dubs will just open up the school brochure and....yep, its bad cant do it.

pbrow

42

Im being disfellowshipped

by newcomer1982 in

i was supposed to go to a judical meeting on sat but i told the elders i wasnt going but they held it anyway.

its going to be announced that im going to be disfellowshipped at the weekend.

hate the fact my parents wont talk to me anymore.

pbrow

Congratulations!! What a great opportunity to show your family what true love is! I like and have used the suggestion personally to tell my family they are welcome at my home any time! Family dinner, sporting events whatever it is that you or your child do. I can certainly relate with losing contact w/ lifelong friends and family but beleive me, this is an opportunity. This is your opportunity to excercise your freedom in christ and this is the most important in my book, this will get your child out of the the witness bubble. To me that is more valuable than anything.

ps, if I could also recommend putting a d/a letter in. You are legally a member of their group. Get yourself out, write a letter! Do not let three men in the back of a kingdom hall think that they are going to df you.

Again, congratulations!

freedom in christ,

pbrow