so as someone newly awakened, my thoughts have turned to "why didn't i see this sooner?
how could i be so blind?
" part of it is that i never realized anyone may have left due to differences with the doctrine.
Its a tough decision to make and I cant fault anyone for staying in for a certain amount of time. I look at family like my mother and think, if you just turned in your da letter other people would take notice.... and I really they would. Tricky situation for sure.
Good luck,
pbrow
hey roberta... excellent way of explaining it. The "glow" of the personal integrity is blinding! Either people see it and are helped by it or they are repulsed and stay away.
I love seeing people who have young children post on here with questions. Even if they are torn at the moment it is a huge step in the right direction for the freedom of their children!
pbrow
2+2, That is an awesome username. I use 2+2=5 as an example to my kids. For about a month I kept telling them that 2+2 = 5. They would always tell me im wrong and I would always tell them that I was right and that they had to listen to me because I was the adult. After the month was up I told them that I was proud of them that they stuck to their guns and didnt "cave" and how important it is to make sure you dont just believe everything someone says. They have to be able to show you why 2+2=5 and if they cant then forget 'em!
pbrow
TA, I am a second generation born in and it is my opinion that you dont need to completely shelter them from meetings or even relatives that are dubs. Like deus said above, encourage outside interests as much as possible.
If you remember back to your childhood years, like me they were not horrible but they were certainly "inside the bubble". When children only know life in the bubble they tend to stay in the bubble. BREAK THE BUBBLE!!
I have found with my two pre-teens that just getting them involved with sports, karate, dance, scouts, birthdays and sleepovers with school friends is all my kids have needed to simply live a normal life and view the dub lifestyle as.... lacking. Think of how awesome a gift you are giving your kids.... the gift of freedom that you did not have, you are breaking the bubble.
At some point you are going to have to take a stand especially with birthdays and other christian/secular holidays. If you are like me it just gets tiring after a while and you just say screw it, im out. Always remember this though, that YOU are not the one seperating your children from anything. Those "friends" and "family" that would seperate themselves from you and your children are at the end of the day, not worth keeping. Believe me, you will not lose the truly important family members, the ones who will not get in the way of you raising strong young adults.
Good luck, its a tough situation.
pbrow
so i got some great advice to take things very slowly with the husband and kids in order to be able to fade and still maintain contact with my parents and siblings.
but today i got a call from my son's teacher that he was having a meltdown because he was worried about all his friends and teachers being destroyed at armageddon.... first i felt like such a schmuck for ever having allowed that thought to enter my son's head, then i thought, is it psychological torture for me not to immediately correct the situation?
i had a long talk with him about how god is perfectly just and full of love and he didn't have to worry about that at all, but it still seemed lukewarm.
There are a lot of good suggestions here but in my opinion fading is not an option when you have children in the org. Your experience is the exact reason why! If you make the witness world the normal world than that is what will be their norm! I was just watching the kaleb video the other day and realized that the guilt trips and intimidation start at a young age. Thats why a lot of born ins can never really leave and have constant feelings of guilt. You need to break the cycle.
Getting your child out of this organization is more important that ANY relationship you may lose in the process. Give your child a normal childhood. You will not regret it. Also make sure you involve your child in experiences and opportunities that show him/her how much life has to offer, not just the field service and endless meetings and assemblies. After two years of school sports, birthdays, girl/boy scouts and other normal activities you can kiss the idea of them becoming a witness goodbye.
Tailor this advise to your situation and it will work.
Good luck in whatever path you take.
pbrow
amazing kingdom hall sign endorses cedars' jwsurvey.org!.
ap newswire - january 24th, 2013, middle america, usa.
whoa y'all!.
Too far??
pbrow
that is my dilema.
my child is wonderful, funny, smart, talented, cute, kind, and a social butterfly.
i want to see her happy.
amen outsmart and bible student!
You give your children just 1 or 2 birthdays, give them a christmas or two and your kids will realize that heads are not cut off, EVERYONE at the parties has a good time (not just the birthday kid) and you will literally see the inner workings of their minds saying "THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL". It also has been mentioned to get your kids involved. ANY sports, dance, girl/boy scouts will work wonders on your childrens self confidence and teach them that all these things are perfectly normal.
I have been at it for about three years and my children could not imagine life without any of the above things even though their mother is still "in". I would even go so far as to say "doctrine" has nothing to do with it if you get them early enough. The simple fact that almost everything is discouraged will become wierd in THEIR mind and you cant ask for anything more than that. I would just recommend to not make the jdub life the forbidden fruit Dont bash it, just explain where it is deficient. (which is no small task)
Good luck (yes, I said luck and it doesnt have anything to do with magic or demons)
pbrow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=xqsyc_vwhdg.
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BING!!!!
hello, i haven't been on here in awhile and it looks like a whole new crowd.
i disassociated myself about 8 years ago.
went through a divorce and shunning from most my family.
hellow bavman! Always good to see a fellow sconnie on the boards. Granted I do not know a lot about your situation but I can imagine that part of your waking up was having to explain these crazy theories to your son. It was a huge part of why I woke up and finally took the proactive stand like you of getting out. Have a conversation with him about that. Tell him you could not in good conscience teach those things to him and now your daughter. Ask him to explain the doctrines you cannot accept (607, denying christ at memorial, 1874, 1914, 1925, cross vs stake, no sports, holidays, df'ing ... etc ) Really listen to him. Question him. Dont let him get away with the usual conversation stoppers like "you know why" or "where else could you go"
Good luck bro,
pbrow
attend the memorial this year..
If I didnt have kids then I agree with zed. I would go for a million dollars. Actually, i would go for $1000
pbrow
