..... and those who have children are not bringing them up as JWs.
This is ALL that matters. Born ins are truly fucked from the start and have the biggest uphill battle in getting out of this group.
Good for them!
pbrow
Posts by pbrow
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7OMG, My 18 Nephews & Nieces Are Such Creative Double Life JWs
by TMS into briefly state this: we were hardcore jws, my siblings, my wife and her two sisters.
we have 18 nieces and nephews among us from late 20's to 55. only one is a card-carrying, practicing jw and he's had his problems.. what's hilarious, is that most of the 18 in the next generation would still identify themselves as jws to the rest of the family, but all are leading double lives extraordinaire, doing exactly what they want to do.
most would be honest with me and have been.
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pbrow
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35
Well... im disfellowshipped now.
by pale.emperor invery long story.
i've been away from this site for a while.. basically, i tried to leave.
handed in my disassociation letter, it kicked up a storm and 2 weeks later i was disfellowshipped.
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pbrow
hey pale...
Not sure how long you are going to keep going to meetings and its really none of my business but please know that as your daughter gets older she will (if she hasn't already) get offended that no one talks to you and she will want to know why. You get to show her that you have nothing against anyone. You get to show her how unchrist like their behavior is! Both my teens think it is idiotic.
No friends is tough.. but that too will pass. Focus on your daughter. Get her involved. For yourself, get out to a local bar one night a week for trivia or volleyball leagues... remember, along with your daughter getting more opportunities YOU are getting more opportunities! You got the rest of your life bro!! You answer to no one else but yourself from now on!
pbrow
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35
Well... im disfellowshipped now.
by pale.emperor invery long story.
i've been away from this site for a while.. basically, i tried to leave.
handed in my disassociation letter, it kicked up a storm and 2 weeks later i was disfellowshipped.
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pbrow
Hey pale...
Sounds like you will be going through the big D soon enough.
I woke up the same age as you and had two kids who were very young. That was 9 years ago for me. I can tell you there is hope and definitely light at the end of the tunnel. From my experience you don't need to be uber aggressive and forbid all things jdub and go nuclear on family or soon to be ex w/ lawsuits. Your first priority is your child now, not your ex. You will gain friends by getting your kid into girl scouts, soccer camps and all the other school things you will be involved in with your daughter.
You mentioned that wife calls you and has you take the kids... awesome... take them whenever you can. If and when you do go through the divorce go for at least 50/50 custody (decision making) and 50/50 placement (where the child will live) The court system wants your children to have as much time as possible with both parents. What the court does not want to hear (in my experience) is all the crazy beliefs that the jw mother has. (None of my judges thought when push comes to shove that the mother would let our children die because of the blood issue) If you personally cannot keep the child at your residence for 50/50 placement... get at least 50/50 custody and tailor the placement schedule to your schedule (with the caveat that when circumstances change you can go for 50/50 placement)
I have gone with and without a lawyer. I have had mixed results with both. Be involved is my best advise as far as a lawyer goes. Push for the home study with your county family court counselor. That person will be your childs advocate. Explain to that person all the experiences and opportunities you want to give them and what they will miss out on when they are with their mother.
Hit me up anytime, my experience with court is pretty extensive although I have not won everything. My decision to leave was well worth it. My girls are well on their way to being out!
pbrow
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13
An Odd Request from Our Ex-JW Son
by TMS inmy wife and i, both out of the religion for nearly twenty years, live in the same border town as our 44 year old only son.
we have scant contact with our numerous jw relatives, although a handful of clever "double life" nieces and nephews socialize with our son.. we care for our six year old grandson weekdays while our single parent son makes a living.
we've been infinitely better grandparents than we were parents, primarily because of our exit from a high control cult, but also because of life experience.
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pbrow
I think it was an interview with R. Dawkins where he said something to this effect....
It is difficult to understand modern day literature without knowing many of the bibles stories.
In my opinion, you can learn a lot from bible stories. Good and bad. I think the apprehension that we ex-dubs have springs from our being indoctrinated with them. That will simply not happen if you or your son are the ones telling the STORIES. You can teach them as the culturally relevant stories they are, nothing more and nothing less.
Good luck and congrats
pbrow
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17
Bye and thanks for everything
by LifesNotOver inwe really went at it this weekend.
pretty ugly!
well at least now the air is cleared.
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pbrow
AMEN!
Put your voice out there and let the chips fall where they may! That is the way to live!
pbrow
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The "Fellowship of Sufferings"
by Perry ini came across this title phrase while reading a daily devotional one morning and it reminded me of this discussion board.
there really is a fellowship of sufferings here.
never since adolph hitler has an organization done so much to destroy families as the watchtower has done.
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pbrow
The watchtower cons its followers into thinking they cant leave. Lucky for us we have the ability to wake up and GTFO.
One in the labor camps could not wake up and say "hmm on second thought there is something strange about this mass shower room... I think Ill leave now."
Both orgs have their victims but they are not remotely in the same class.
Hitler is responsible for gassing millions of people. He chose to do that.
Your mother/father/family friends are choosing to shun you. They are choosing to do that. They are responsible.
pbrow
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The "Fellowship of Sufferings"
by Perry ini came across this title phrase while reading a daily devotional one morning and it reminded me of this discussion board.
there really is a fellowship of sufferings here.
never since adolph hitler has an organization done so much to destroy families as the watchtower has done.
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pbrow
While we as witnesses were most certainly damaged to say that the dubs are the worst since hitler is a little fanciful. N Korea and the baath party are two organizations that have fucked up some lives way worse then people willingly staying in a group because they don't want their kids to miss their grandparents.
JW = bad
Hitler / N Korea / Hussein = WAY THE FUCK WORSE
pbrow
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70
Did I open the gate to the realm of demons?
by redpilltwice inthis is what happened.
i had a sore tendon in my wrist.
i could work with it, but nevertheless the pain was there.
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pbrow
+1 for the demons
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Don't believe anyone is up there listening - said a prayer anyway out of sense of obligation
by Zoos ini've read many statements on this forum from people who have expressed the sentiment that you don't shove ttatt down the throat of an older person.
it would be too traumatic and its best to let some people, in some situations, simply pass on in the delusion.. its humane.
merciful.. in the initial roar of my awakening, i was unable to cuddle up to that sentiment; preferring, instead, to shove the blood curdling shock of truth down the throat of anyone i could get my grip on... age be dammed.
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pbrow
I desire mercy, not sacrifice.
Testament to good values. Good universal values can be cherry picked out of the bible.
Hearing my mother talk about meeting her mother in the paradise tempered my strong desire to help her out of the church at all costs.
I will second that your response was very touching...
pbrow
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13
Each and every member of this board reaches more people than they ever did going from D2D , with more effect.
by smiddy ini was just reflecting about this site and it`s influence on me and what i have got out of it and it came to me that whatever subject i bring up , or others bring up , the obvious thing is we engage in discussion .that`s what it`s all about .. however , the feedback we get or the input we give , far outweighs anything we ever achieved going from d2d for the wtb&ts./ wt real estate agency /publishing house .. how many times did you have a meaningful discussion with a person at a door ?, as a jw ?
not many i would think.. the majority of times , they were not home or not opening the door to you , so even if you did meet people they were too busy to talk to you or they just were not interested.. whereas , here on this board you engage with many people from all over the world , and we can discuss a subject as long as we want.until it runs it`s course.. i think anybody who posts here has had far more satisfaction in their interaction with other people on this board than they ever experienced in the d2d work as a jw.. and i hope that people who just lurk here can see the benefits of open discussion in a forum like this without judgement and recriminations that occur in the jw religion for speaking your mind.. smiddy.
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pbrow
HERE HERE!