Just watched the full video for the first time.
What a whiney little bitch..... Out for 15 years and just wants a hug from mom and dad.
It is not her fault though, jw parents are awesome at creating young adults w/ little or no self worth.
pbrow
i have been df'd for 9yrs as of july 31 (yay me!).
so as i have written about previously in other posts, my whole family (parents + sister) made the choice to treat me as if i do not exist, and i have accepted it.
last summer they made a blatant show of it as our family reunion, in that they would walk right by me and not say one word...prompting our extended family to question their actions.
Just watched the full video for the first time.
What a whiney little bitch..... Out for 15 years and just wants a hug from mom and dad.
It is not her fault though, jw parents are awesome at creating young adults w/ little or no self worth.
pbrow
situation is, i'll never return to the wt.
my family with never leave the wt.. depending on who you ask you'll get the following answers when you ask about me:.
my family: he's confused.
That's tough bro, gotta protect that little one. I have not read your letter but from my limited knowledge of your situation you are right to cut those ties. Do it while she is young and start filling her life up with positive things.
I know I still struggle with being non-confrontational but I purposefully am with any friends or family that try to shun me like that. Your letter will be thrown in the trash but they cannot un-hear what you say to their face.
pbrow
situation is, i'll never return to the wt.
my family with never leave the wt.. depending on who you ask you'll get the following answers when you ask about me:.
my family: he's confused.
Hey pale... maybe its a culture thing but why are you asking your mother if you can go to her house? It will be a cold day in hell before I am not allowed in the house I grew up in.
You walk in the door, plop your kid on your lap and say... yes I will have creamer in my coffee!! Thank you!... None for little pale though... she will be bouncing off the walls for sure!"
What is she going to do? Call the police??? That would make a great impression her grandchild! Myself, I would go toe to toe with my brother if it came down to that but even he talks to me because I simply don't allow him to shun me. ALLOWING them to shun you is playing their game.
pbrow
well it's been 18 months since i left the witnesses.
my goodness what can i say?
well let's start from the beginning.... 1) i am happy, yes i am (i know im not meant to be as the jw's would like to believe).
Did stan ever come out of the closet?
to briefly state this: we were hardcore jws, my siblings, my wife and her two sisters.
we have 18 nieces and nephews among us from late 20's to 55. only one is a card-carrying, practicing jw and he's had his problems.. what's hilarious, is that most of the 18 in the next generation would still identify themselves as jws to the rest of the family, but all are leading double lives extraordinaire, doing exactly what they want to do.
most would be honest with me and have been.
..... and those who have children are not bringing them up as JWs.
This is ALL that matters. Born ins are truly fucked from the start and have the biggest uphill battle in getting out of this group.
Good for them!
pbrow
very long story.
i've been away from this site for a while.. basically, i tried to leave.
handed in my disassociation letter, it kicked up a storm and 2 weeks later i was disfellowshipped.
hey pale...
Not sure how long you are going to keep going to meetings and its really none of my business but please know that as your daughter gets older she will (if she hasn't already) get offended that no one talks to you and she will want to know why. You get to show her that you have nothing against anyone. You get to show her how unchrist like their behavior is! Both my teens think it is idiotic.
No friends is tough.. but that too will pass. Focus on your daughter. Get her involved. For yourself, get out to a local bar one night a week for trivia or volleyball leagues... remember, along with your daughter getting more opportunities YOU are getting more opportunities! You got the rest of your life bro!! You answer to no one else but yourself from now on!
pbrow
very long story.
i've been away from this site for a while.. basically, i tried to leave.
handed in my disassociation letter, it kicked up a storm and 2 weeks later i was disfellowshipped.
Hey pale...
Sounds like you will be going through the big D soon enough.
I woke up the same age as you and had two kids who were very young. That was 9 years ago for me. I can tell you there is hope and definitely light at the end of the tunnel. From my experience you don't need to be uber aggressive and forbid all things jdub and go nuclear on family or soon to be ex w/ lawsuits. Your first priority is your child now, not your ex. You will gain friends by getting your kid into girl scouts, soccer camps and all the other school things you will be involved in with your daughter.
You mentioned that wife calls you and has you take the kids... awesome... take them whenever you can. If and when you do go through the divorce go for at least 50/50 custody (decision making) and 50/50 placement (where the child will live) The court system wants your children to have as much time as possible with both parents. What the court does not want to hear (in my experience) is all the crazy beliefs that the jw mother has. (None of my judges thought when push comes to shove that the mother would let our children die because of the blood issue) If you personally cannot keep the child at your residence for 50/50 placement... get at least 50/50 custody and tailor the placement schedule to your schedule (with the caveat that when circumstances change you can go for 50/50 placement)
I have gone with and without a lawyer. I have had mixed results with both. Be involved is my best advise as far as a lawyer goes. Push for the home study with your county family court counselor. That person will be your childs advocate. Explain to that person all the experiences and opportunities you want to give them and what they will miss out on when they are with their mother.
Hit me up anytime, my experience with court is pretty extensive although I have not won everything. My decision to leave was well worth it. My girls are well on their way to being out!
pbrow
my wife and i, both out of the religion for nearly twenty years, live in the same border town as our 44 year old only son.
we have scant contact with our numerous jw relatives, although a handful of clever "double life" nieces and nephews socialize with our son.. we care for our six year old grandson weekdays while our single parent son makes a living.
we've been infinitely better grandparents than we were parents, primarily because of our exit from a high control cult, but also because of life experience.
I think it was an interview with R. Dawkins where he said something to this effect....
It is difficult to understand modern day literature without knowing many of the bibles stories.
In my opinion, you can learn a lot from bible stories. Good and bad. I think the apprehension that we ex-dubs have springs from our being indoctrinated with them. That will simply not happen if you or your son are the ones telling the STORIES. You can teach them as the culturally relevant stories they are, nothing more and nothing less.
Good luck and congrats
pbrow
we really went at it this weekend.
pretty ugly!
well at least now the air is cleared.
AMEN!
Put your voice out there and let the chips fall where they may! That is the way to live!
pbrow
i came across this title phrase while reading a daily devotional one morning and it reminded me of this discussion board.
there really is a fellowship of sufferings here.
never since adolph hitler has an organization done so much to destroy families as the watchtower has done.
The watchtower cons its followers into thinking they cant leave. Lucky for us we have the ability to wake up and GTFO.
One in the labor camps could not wake up and say "hmm on second thought there is something strange about this mass shower room... I think Ill leave now."
Both orgs have their victims but they are not remotely in the same class.
Hitler is responsible for gassing millions of people. He chose to do that.
Your mother/father/family friends are choosing to shun you. They are choosing to do that. They are responsible.
pbrow