Posts by clearpoison

25

"MARRY ONLY IN THE LORD"CRUEL LAW FOR WOMEN

by jam in

i have seen ads for women looking for men that love the lord, that,s ok. you have something in common.

but i have notice that can be a big mistake.. for example, my brother is a widower and have tried dating women in his.

church.

clearpoison

Dear Dgp, I do not think in those paths at all. Sorry if I gave that impression.

I just think that there are more sides in this. Paul is telling this is his personal opinion, and he is telling his opinion to save us from trouble. Intentions have been good and they may very well been suitable for the specific time, even with stricktest interpretation. Our human interpretation of rules turned to principle turned to new rule, do not diminish the good intentions that might have been there. That was my point for that part.

Yes, implementing this view today in hardcore mode is problematic specially for women, for reasons stated earlier.

This is really not JW only practise. As far as I have understood a catholic girl cannot be wed to a protestant boy in catholic church. Where I live both parties must have been confirmed as members of to the main protestant church if they want to be wed in their church. Even where arranged marriages occur, for example Hindu parents try to find Hindu spouse to their children, or the same applies for moslims. Do people in overall care what your spouse's religion is, in general not that enthusiastically as JW do. There are few religions where person get addressed for plans to marry a non-same-believer or even dedicated a public speech about it. In some religions you might get stoned or throatcut for that, but that is totally another story.

CP

25

"MARRY ONLY IN THE LORD"CRUEL LAW FOR WOMEN

by jam in

i have seen ads for women looking for men that love the lord, that,s ok. you have something in common.

but i have notice that can be a big mistake.. for example, my brother is a widower and have tried dating women in his.

church.

clearpoison

Some reflexions on this, purely independent personal thinking. No statistical data to support these statements.

1. The rule in overall (if assumed to be correct) was not directed to any specific gender. What was power relations between men/women in congregations those days, do not know.

2. Today, at least in places I've visited women are strong, I emphasise, strong majority of witnesses. Thus negative effects of this rule will mostly hit women, by default. Unless one man could have multiple spouses the ratio 2:1, 3:1 etc. will just make it statistically impossible to get it right.

3. For relationbuilding, men are not that eager in most cases. If allowed they are more interested in dipping the sausage in many ponds.

4. Getting older, without having a children around, may not be such problem to a manly man than to a women. Mostly due emotional reasons, but even due some physical limits for having kids, age that is. For men please refer to point 3. and note that they can be fruitful until they die. (even after, if some freezing things have been done).

Yes looking at this day's congregation it seems cruel, as in my opinion women seek for steady relationship and want to have own children, more so than those few men around. But the background when this rule/guidance was written might very well have been totally different, therefore the law as such might not been meant to be difficult to follow. So the question really is how it is implemented today. Funny enough this is not DF offense, even the mixing-relation is very visible in the community. Yes, you will loose your wonderful privileges, the same applies those openly supporting your relation, but it is not DF thing. Some sensibility is obviously around, but is it sensible enough is of course debatable.

CP

37

How many of you have had these in your congregation?

by bottleofwater in

brother smart: the serious brother who thinks that he is an intellectual and believes he is "smart"sister armageddon: the sister who says "armageddon!!!

" after any little thing in the newschase: the little boy who is always running around and crawling under the seats no matter what the parents sayjohnny: the little boy who keeps on leaving his snot on the sides of the bathroom stallbrother squeaky: the one in charge of cleaning who tells everyone what to do, but just stands there and conversessister coquette: the congregation slut... or as close to a slut as she can get... flirting with every brother... oh yeah and she was raised in the "truth"brother borrow: the brother who owes everyone money... and still asks to borrow from othersgreg: the boy or girl whose parents are so restrictive that the kid can't watch anything higher than g-rated moviesstormy: the teenage boy or girl who you could bet does stuff behind the scenes, so to speaki'm just speaking from past memories.

not in all of this anymore.

clearpoison

Actually no, not a single hit on this list and extended answers. I must have been in an odd place.

CP

19

How many used to beat their cars to death in field service?

by life is to short in

jw
friends

ok so this is my second winter out of the crazy religion.. where i live we can get really bad winters and this seems to be another bad year.

we just had a record november for snow fall.

we live in the city and the city snow plowing is not the best to say the least.

clearpoison

Ahh, the car that Mr. Bean hates, groovy.

Winter driving for field service was actually quite productive (counted in time) as you had perfect excuse to drive so slowly, so slowly.

CP

18

Has a local needs talk been given about you?

by Jadeen in

jw
friends

this was briefly mentioned in one of miseryloveselders threads, but i had the honor of a local needs talk pointed at me.

shortly before i got married to my "worldly" husband there was a talk about "marrying only in the lord", "do not become unevenly yoked", blah blah blah.. i wasn't shocked that it was given, i was actually waiting to hear about it.

i was more surprised that they waited until about a month before our wedding day to give it.

clearpoison

Certainly, unfortunatelly I was so dumb, I didn't understood it concerned me.

CP

19

What Are You Paying For Gas Prices In Your Area Now?

by minimus in

jw
friends

the lowest i've seen in a few weeks in my area is $2.85 unleaded, self serve.. i've seen it 30 cents higher and a popular mobil station just off the highway..

clearpoison

6,93USD/gallon 95 unleaded, but this is not US.

CP

28

Well the JWC@fe is no more...

by serenitynow! in

jw
friends

i tried to find it, but it's gone.

as well as the jehovah's witness fb page.

it seems in the recent weeks those sites became "overrun" with apostates and were no longer encouraging.

clearpoison

It really do not matter. I anyway liked JWOWW site much more and it's still there.

42

Reply From Co-worker - Feel Excellent Moment!

by Doubtfully Yours in

jw
friends

so, there we all are in the break room in my place of work, and the topic turns to the holiday shopping madness.

this co-worker starts to say how expensive this holiday season has been for him and that he's still not done, and too bad when the day comes the family members will find fault or something else wrong with his gifts, and to make things worst, that the wife also was purchasing gifts with his credit card so he feared the january statement.. so, i jokingly told him that one way he can remedy that is by telling his family that he's been studying the bible and that he won't be celebrating christmas this year as he's studying to become a jw.

they all laughed loudly and the guy, second by others in the room, told me that i just didn't know how good i had it being a jw this time of the year.

clearpoison

As long as DY is happy with her decision and convinced that this is the right way for her, I am happy for her. If it would be other way around as it seems have been, I would be happy for that too. Just it is her personal faith and decision. I have no idea about her motives to continue writing here, she said that she wan't to fix things she has been doing, fine. Doing it here is like she would go and sit with Serbian supporters as German in soccer match Serbia-Germany in Belgrade. Courageous indeed but maybe not serving it's purpose.

45

How was dating as Jehovah Witness?

by Pitchess Co-Gen in

looking back i'm glad i didn't marry my ex..

clearpoison

Despite the heavy petting and guilt feelings it was quite nice experience. There was still certain amount of sadness and fear that the other party would find the things we were doing in absense of chaperons, well something that should stop us for dating. Fortunatelly she did not follow the rules either.

Considering the length of dating I would say that it was very much shorter than worldly norms. In retrospect very much because we feared doing the ultimate wrong, not just unclean thing, sooner or later. It was kind of close (many times), but we managed.

For the discussion part, I would say that lack of chaperons really gave us possibility to talk about lot's of stuff and be prepared. Long distance service drives made it possible along sitting in cafées and bars, without getting too much attention from others to our doings.

As whole we very much broke all dating "rules" while dating, unnoticed though.

42

Reply From Co-worker - Feel Excellent Moment!

by Doubtfully Yours in

jw
friends

so, there we all are in the break room in my place of work, and the topic turns to the holiday shopping madness.

this co-worker starts to say how expensive this holiday season has been for him and that he's still not done, and too bad when the day comes the family members will find fault or something else wrong with his gifts, and to make things worst, that the wife also was purchasing gifts with his credit card so he feared the january statement.. so, i jokingly told him that one way he can remedy that is by telling his family that he's been studying the bible and that he won't be celebrating christmas this year as he's studying to become a jw.

they all laughed loudly and the guy, second by others in the room, told me that i just didn't know how good i had it being a jw this time of the year.

clearpoison

I guess DY got the 'feel good' moment because the joke she told was accepted by the audience. In the very same manner as stand-up comedians feel good when audience is laughing.

CP