Hi MLE,
As a never-jw perhaps our experiences are different, but your anger felt very familiar to me.
For 17 years I was married to a man who dreamed big, and did bankruptcies. I effectively enabled this be staying in secure and well-paid employment. I was often angry, especially after children arrived. Didn't want to break up the marriage because I'd upset the kids, my parents and siblings, let everone down, lose contact with people who accepted us as a couple, all that.
Eventually he made the move. At least I recovered enough sense to start the divorce. Yes, it was hard being a single parent, and quite a bit of what I'd feared came true. Lots of ups and downs.
Now I'm almost twice your age. My children are healthy and happy young adults. I have a great job, presence in the community, a financially secure partner (not husband; stuff that!) and my siblings and I are civil to each other.
My one real regret is the time I wasted just "holding on".
You are quite gifted in commenting on life, and deserve to live it instead. Please, get an education at least!
(Hoping you are asleep and don't read this till morning.)
All the best, Retro