Retrovirus

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Posts by Retrovirus

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  40

  Non JW involved with a JW

  by LostInTranslation in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i am a non jw who has been doing a fair amount of research on my own in hopes of finding some answers and understanding for my current heartwrenching situation:.

  i have been dating a man for the last while, and we grew very close, very quickly.. .

  suddenly he has pulled away from me, gotten very skittish and says he feels like he is leading a double life, and isn't ready for a relationship.. all the while stating that his impending divorce is the reason for his cold feet, which could be understandable except the marriage was very much "over" long ago.

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  Retrovirus

  Welcome from another non-jw, LIT!

  May i suggest you read jgnat's posts, especially her story, here? She is a non, married to a jw, and he also wasn't forthcoming about his involvement. You will also get a perspective on the cult and normal personalities that might help.

  It must have been very hurtful to find that an old friend, more than friend, who reconnected so well with you, was so secretive about a most important part of his life.

  JWs target people with problems as low self esteem lets them impose their way of life. They also do not respect personal boundaries, nor are they necessarily honest with those outside what they call the "truth".

  it's good that you are researching the jws. Please do nothing in a hurry.

  All the best, Retro
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  12

  How do I keep from being an enabler while not appearing like Satan

  by marriedtoajw in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  one thing that i havn't mentioned in any of my posts is that i have a 26 year old son along with the 4 kids that my wife and i have together.

  i became a father very young, 15 to be exact.

  that's a whole other issue but not on this post.

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  Retrovirus

  Garyneal has a point but. . .

  he has yet to get his first job, wants to go to every meeting, does not have a good sence of reality and is overall just like his mother. I love my wife, but she has always been taken care of either by her parents or me

  it doesn't sound as if he'll be easy to dislodge. Yet it can be done; my youngest was similar but has now moved out and is earning a living. Perhaps, in your wife's avbsence, appeal to what interests him. Does he enjoy music and concerts? Would he like to have a decent car? Travel? Does he plan to marry one day?

  Present financial independence as desirable - which, after all, it is. Then discuss a plan and motivate him. No pocket money or handouts, he needs to earn it! By all means involve the older brother and anyone else who might help.

  Leave the religion and meetings right out of this. How could you be Satan when you're just enabling him to become the head of his own household one day?

  There's a good chance that as he develops a life the meetings will become less important to him.

  Good luck, Retro
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  56

  If you wanted to go to College/University, how do you think you would fair, after paying off your Student Loans?

  by LoisLane looking for Superman in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  if you go to college/university...where do you see yourself in 20 years, 50 years?.

  if you do not get higher learning, where do you see yourself in 20 years, 50 years?.

  or loss/saving for 40 years = $480,000.00.. someone else can compound the interest.. do you have a 5 year plan?

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  Retrovirus

  Welcome, Villagegirl!

  I was shocked by the article Ravens posted above, where the wt groups higher eduacation with underage smoking and indiscriminatel publishing personal information on the Net. The two ladies I was "studying" with assured me it just meant that people should make a considered decision; didn't read like that to me!

  Hope to see more posts from you,

  Retro
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  30

  Help!!!

  by marriedtoajw in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have come here for any advice and support that anyone can give and i really need it now.

  i don't talk about these issues with my siblings anymore because they have already told me that they have no advice and can't help.

  feelings of anxiety have been overwhelming me the lat 2 years and it makes me feel like a scared little child.

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  Retrovirus

  Hi Marriedtoajw

  I know of no one who has delt with being with being married to a JW as long as I have withoug getting sucked in.

  My brother was; his wife was "studying" when they married and is still totally in. Their marriage didn't survive - jws don't compromise - but both children avoided baptism and are "out". They always had his worldview as an alternative.

  Hopefully you have read the Cameron books. In any case, the way to win your children is to maintain the moral high ground. Be calm and respectful or everyone's beliefs, but . . ask questions. And ask difficult questions of your wife when the children are there.

  I'd guess she'll try all the typical jw tactics - changing the subject, answering something else, demanding the source of your information and dissing it. Never give her an "apostate" source or link to work with; use the dissinformation in the literature itself, or articles such as Candace Conti in the media.

  End with "I'd like to believe, but in all conscience, unless . . . . is cleared up, it's not possible".

  Do your children attend school? The evidence for evolution, and against a worldwide flood, is overwhelming.

  Finally, it seems you are feeling powerless - truly, you are not. Counselling might help here; it worked for me!

  Hope this helps, Retro
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  31

  And yet another new member.

  by AMO in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guys & girls.. though you can sit back down in your seats now, sorry but not a jw, never have been & never will be, am a totally happy with athiest life, lol.. started lurking here about a year ago, started dating a jw woman didn't i, i here the face palms, lol.

  lucky for me i found this site while trying to find out more about the jw's very early on & knew exactly how this was prob going to end.

  but i thought what the hell lets see where it goes.

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  Retrovirus

  Welcome, AMO, from another non-jw occaisional poster!
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  72

  Sickening Dilemma

  by ItsMyLife in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i would like to have your opinions on what i should do about a situation please.. i have recently discovered that a 'brother' in the congregation (which i no longer attend) is a child molester.

  i've seen documentation from his psychiatrist dated a few years ago, stating that he doesn't feel that this person is likely to offend again.

  the 'brother' has said to the elders at some point that he has it under control but cannot be 100% sure it won't happen again.

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  Retrovirus

  "The 'brother' has said to the elders at some point that he has it under control but cannot be 100% sure it won't happen again" That sentence alone shows the evasion of personal responsibility. "IT" doesn't happen - the molester does it. Not accepting responsibility is another indicator that this person will re-offend. The police need to be involved!
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  47

  New "Jehovah's Friend" video - Lesson 3: Pray Anytime

  by cedars in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  here it is folks.... http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/children/become-jehovahs-friend/videos/pray-anytime/.

  sophia takes center stage on this one.. .

  cedars.

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  Retrovirus

  Anywhere anytime I can pray. . .

  Ah, not exactly. When a baptised sister , or better still a brother is offering a prayer, all you get to do is follow along and say "Amen".

  Never too soon to teach Sophie her place and her prospects!
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  44

  Annoying 2/15 WT - Don't Be Stumbled- your Mind Just Misunderstands !

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  another wt article which causes jw's to doubt their own perceptions of reality.

  ) in this particular article titled " for those loving jehovah, " there is no stumbling block " - the wt society stoops to new, or rather re-hashed lows to insinuate that most if not all jw's really misunderstand causes of stumbling as it's just their minds that are imperfect, messed up, or gone entirely anyway.

  the first abhorrent bit of information here describes a witness man who " fought " with feelings of being homosexual and of course the elders thought they had the perfect antidote to keep him from his alleged " abnormal " desires.

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  Retrovirus

  Two elders visited him and listened sympathetically, without interrupting, while he related his story, AS HE PERCEIVED IT. They encouraged him to thrw his burden on Jehovah and stressed that the most important thing was to please God. "

  So sad. They don't even need to try to equate "pleasing God" with "Obeying the WT and not rocking the boat" because the poor sheep already have that engraved on their minds. . .
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  68

  My Mother Passed

  by Roberta804 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  thank you for all of your support durning the two difficult weeks my mother was on her death bed.

  last night at 10:30pm she breath her last with my sister and i by her side.

  this is a real end of an era for me as i have known little these past 8 years other than taking care of my parents.

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  Retrovirus

  Sincere sympathy, Roberta, and kudos for protecting her serenity in the last days!

  Retro
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  86

  The Other Side of the Indian Rape Story

  by fulltimestudent in

  1. social
  2. current

  i'm posting this story, not to defend an indefensible act, but to try to provide some balance.

  the fact is that so many indians exist in a poverty so deep that it's difficult for westerners to even understand.

  the youngest of the rapists in the now world known rape story, according to this uk, independent newspaper story, grew up in that world that seems hopeless.

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  Retrovirus

  What Mamochan13 said