thanks for the reply, Maze.
Your concerns about divisions within a family were not instituted by Jehovah's Witnesses. The real question is who is in the wrong for causing the division
No, that is not the real question. If there is a difference of opinion, how do you define "who is in the wrong"? Or even what "wrong" means? The issue is respect or others' opinions and tolerance.
Matt 10 32-39 - is not relevant to my concerns. That is about whether we love God over family and friends. It does not say you must shun someone who worships differently. Why cannot two people love God and believe differently?
But now I am writing you to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. 1 Corinthians 5:
A person whose beliefs differ from yours is not necessarily a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolator etc. Nor is it necessary to shun a person to "quit mixing in company" with him or her.
Jesus gave the example, and he spoke courteously to people in all walks of life. If he didn't judge, why do you do so?
Which still leaves the point unrefuted: Watchtower B&TS is wrong to promote shunning.