Posts by KissAFish

20

SAD!

by 2SYN in

well this isn't just another "boohoo, i'm so depressed, bwaaa!

" thread...this is a more detailed investigation into the reason behind my sadness.

i felt like i could share it with the people on this board, as you lot in general seem to be far more emotionally sensitive than a lot of people on the internet.. i've been listening to ok computer by radiohead, and i must say, it's by far some of the most emotional music i've ever listened to.

KissAFish

SYN...Not that far from you actually..Western Australia... Heaps of South Africans here....and lots of hot weather!!!

"Everything that can be counted doesn't necessarily count; everything that counts can't necessarily be counted." (Einstein)

46

my family, my da status and my s-i-l (VENTING)

by peaceloveharmony in

well, i had a run in with my sister in law this weekend.

nothing direct between me and her since she shuns me.

but my brother dave told me something that just pissed me off to no end.

KissAFish

Hi PLH..... I am a realtive newie..
Your story is an all too familar one, I lived on eggshells for quite some time.. I couldn't hack it after awhile ..too much emotional blackmail, for such a shallow relationship.. based entirely on what the WTS said this week about DA family.. so I told all my family..including my dying Mum exactly what I felt.. and I lost them all.. But that does not make anyone a lesser person..maybe a fair bit pissed but since then.... I have made far more loyal friends out of WTS then I could ever have imagined..and they at times can be all I need.. But there is no substitute for unconditional love from your family..that is supposed to be a right....

"Reading the Bible without meditating on it is like trying to eat without swallowing."

20

SAD!

by 2SYN in

well this isn't just another "boohoo, i'm so depressed, bwaaa!

" thread...this is a more detailed investigation into the reason behind my sadness.

i felt like i could share it with the people on this board, as you lot in general seem to be far more emotionally sensitive than a lot of people on the internet.. i've been listening to ok computer by radiohead, and i must say, it's by far some of the most emotional music i've ever listened to.

KissAFish

Hey Syn...I can relate totally...I went thru that for a long time..It is a totally normal response..It for me was a holding back..something I held, as I had a particularly viscious Mum, who was justified by the WTS by any discipline methods she thought acceptable.. ie>starving ..abuse etc..So whenever she would start up..I was determined NOT to cry..and apparently..when I went to seek help about getting things together ( which I highly recommend).I was told..that it is normal to hold back tears as a form of power if something is taken from you.And in all of our cases being a JW..took power away..the power of free thinking.. so I dont know if that was any use.. but I cry like a fountain now.. sad and happy...which is normal for a latin... LOL..So there is always hope..

"Reach for the moon. If you miss, you may fall on a star." (Marvin the Martian)

29

Attracted To What Types?

by gilwarrior in

i tend to find myself attracted to the extremes.

either woman who are very nice and sweet or woman who are wild and crazy.

however, i don't like woman who are rude and have a lot of attitude.. many guys like blonds, but i tend to like dark haired woman better.

KissAFish

Windrider, I used to feel exactly the same as a kid.. you feel odd.... but tallness has its virtues, I have grown into my legs..I can swim faster in less strides..LOL...and yep legs are definately an advantage.. got to love thigh high boots that actually sit on your thighs...*W*...

"I have changed my mind a dozen times. It seems to work better now."

29

Attracted To What Types?

by gilwarrior in

i tend to find myself attracted to the extremes.

either woman who are very nice and sweet or woman who are wild and crazy.

however, i don't like woman who are rude and have a lot of attitude.. many guys like blonds, but i tend to like dark haired woman better.

KissAFish

I know what you mean wind rider..5'10 here..Feels nice to look up sometimes.....LOL

29

Attracted To What Types?

by gilwarrior in

i tend to find myself attracted to the extremes.

either woman who are very nice and sweet or woman who are wild and crazy.

however, i don't like woman who are rude and have a lot of attitude.. many guys like blonds, but i tend to like dark haired woman better.

KissAFish

and gil, the foot thing isnt strange at all...If you take care of yourself well it reflects alot about yourself..

"Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly."

29

Attracted To What Types?

by gilwarrior in

i tend to find myself attracted to the extremes.

either woman who are very nice and sweet or woman who are wild and crazy.

however, i don't like woman who are rude and have a lot of attitude.. many guys like blonds, but i tend to like dark haired woman better.

KissAFish

Hmm men.. lets see... nice teeth.. tight bum, neat fingers and nails.. ( especially toenails!!!) clean skin..AND GOOD CLEAN TEETH ( I have the teeth thing LOL.) .... Not hairy.... Not a snorer...HAS TO LOVE giving massages...Be able to make a killer coffee..be kind and gentle..but a 'Bad boy" in bed...Oooh ok thats the physical side..as for the rest ...a quirky sense of humour..a wild spirit..a willingness to try anything at least just once..a thinking mind...and to not take life all too seriously.. and to listen even after sex.... LOL....

"An Apple a day keeps the doctor away.
But . . . an onion a day keeps everyone away. "

7

Here Goes

by KissAFish in

here goes...i left the jws, nearly 10 years ago..i was 16 when my hand was helped along by firstly getting kicked out my parents home, (my dad had been an elder but was stood down for various family issues..me being one...and my mum was a ferocious terrier of a doorknocker..) anyway, i as a child was conditioned to please...as all jws are, and thought id give it another go, so went to live with my sister and her family ( jws too)... lasted a year before i got into"worldly hands", and my sister kicked me out... so, i went to share with my brother ( at least he wasnt a jw now, my parents threw him out too)..and got to hear from my dad that mum was dying of cancer, she was terminal...my brother and i grappled with feelings as we still wanted to see our parents and yet constantly had this cloud of ..you not being a jw are killing your mother..and my mum would beg us to come back to the "truth" so we would "live forever", this was my only ever hesitation in leaving the "organization"..and the emotional blackmail that was laid on was enormous....i managed to sit with my mum during all of her chemo treatments( something my 2 jw sisters never did) and she would constantly beg me to come back..i held my ground though it hurt to see she truly thought i was evil and would die at armageddon..my brother bore and still does the worst of this guilt..i managed to hold my ground even after my mum died an excruciatingly painful death and my dad publicly disowned my brother and i...i went to counselling and was told how well i had coped... so i went on to study and meet a great guy..marry him..a catholic!!!

(wg)...but, listening to my brother, just recently... after he went on jw sites.

( he feels he has to have answers to all of it..).

KissAFish

Thanks alot for your comments, help and welcome guys... I thought I wouldn't post my WHOLE life story... I wouldnt be that cruel....(LOL) But am glad I managed to make a point..( somewhere..??)...I was supposed to be DF..I had some kind of meeting that was set up...but I was (until only now researching).. still in the dark , I had no real idea... except that after my Brother attended one..and my then boyfriend and they were asked very personal questions about their sex lives..so they both answered as 19 yr olds would..and left..I never got to that point.. so maybe that helped, not too sure... But reading all the accounts and comments on here, I feel as if I got off relatively easy...and as for asking my Dad my status, although a great suggestion.. for a normal Dad..my Dad's last words to me were.."I find what you did, Disgusting and Unforgivable..you are not my daughter".. so he wont be much help..I ask my sisters carefully.. as any outright questions about JWs causes them to say they are being ridiculed.( I guess that is why I outburst @YK,.pent up non answered BS) So,I better just accept that I did get out and all is ok...Have a great day all.....

and I had to do this one now.. I just havent found a signature...AHHHH

"43% of all statistics are worthless. "

7

Here Goes

by KissAFish in

here goes...i left the jws, nearly 10 years ago..i was 16 when my hand was helped along by firstly getting kicked out my parents home, (my dad had been an elder but was stood down for various family issues..me being one...and my mum was a ferocious terrier of a doorknocker..) anyway, i as a child was conditioned to please...as all jws are, and thought id give it another go, so went to live with my sister and her family ( jws too)... lasted a year before i got into"worldly hands", and my sister kicked me out... so, i went to share with my brother ( at least he wasnt a jw now, my parents threw him out too)..and got to hear from my dad that mum was dying of cancer, she was terminal...my brother and i grappled with feelings as we still wanted to see our parents and yet constantly had this cloud of ..you not being a jw are killing your mother..and my mum would beg us to come back to the "truth" so we would "live forever", this was my only ever hesitation in leaving the "organization"..and the emotional blackmail that was laid on was enormous....i managed to sit with my mum during all of her chemo treatments( something my 2 jw sisters never did) and she would constantly beg me to come back..i held my ground though it hurt to see she truly thought i was evil and would die at armageddon..my brother bore and still does the worst of this guilt..i managed to hold my ground even after my mum died an excruciatingly painful death and my dad publicly disowned my brother and i...i went to counselling and was told how well i had coped... so i went on to study and meet a great guy..marry him..a catholic!!!

(wg)...but, listening to my brother, just recently... after he went on jw sites.

( he feels he has to have answers to all of it..).

KissAFish

Thanks alot for your comments, help and welcome guys... I thought I wouldn't post my WHOLE life story... I wouldnt be that cruel....(LOL) But am glad I managed to make a point..( somewhere..??)...I was supposed to be DF..I had some kind of meeting that was set up...but I was (until only now researching).. still in the dark , I had no real idea... except that after my Brother attended one..and my then boyfriend and they were asked very personal questions about their sex lives..so they both answered as 19 yr olds would..and left..I never got to that point.. so maybe that helped, not too sure... But reading all the accounts and comments on here, I feel as if I got off relatively easy...and as for asking my Dad my status, although a great suggestion.. for a normal Dad..my Dad's last words to me were.."I find what you did, Disgusting and Unforgivable..you are not my daughter".. so he wont be much help..I ask my sisters carefully.. as any outright questions about JWs causes them to say they are being ridiculed.( I guess that is why I outburst @YK,.pent up non answered BS) So,I better just accept that I did get out and all is ok...Have a great day all.....

and I had to do this one now.. I just havent found a signature...AHHHH

"43% of all statistics are worthless. "

7

Here Goes

by KissAFish in

here goes...i left the jws, nearly 10 years ago..i was 16 when my hand was helped along by firstly getting kicked out my parents home, (my dad had been an elder but was stood down for various family issues..me being one...and my mum was a ferocious terrier of a doorknocker..) anyway, i as a child was conditioned to please...as all jws are, and thought id give it another go, so went to live with my sister and her family ( jws too)... lasted a year before i got into"worldly hands", and my sister kicked me out... so, i went to share with my brother ( at least he wasnt a jw now, my parents threw him out too)..and got to hear from my dad that mum was dying of cancer, she was terminal...my brother and i grappled with feelings as we still wanted to see our parents and yet constantly had this cloud of ..you not being a jw are killing your mother..and my mum would beg us to come back to the "truth" so we would "live forever", this was my only ever hesitation in leaving the "organization"..and the emotional blackmail that was laid on was enormous....i managed to sit with my mum during all of her chemo treatments( something my 2 jw sisters never did) and she would constantly beg me to come back..i held my ground though it hurt to see she truly thought i was evil and would die at armageddon..my brother bore and still does the worst of this guilt..i managed to hold my ground even after my mum died an excruciatingly painful death and my dad publicly disowned my brother and i...i went to counselling and was told how well i had coped... so i went on to study and meet a great guy..marry him..a catholic!!!

(wg)...but, listening to my brother, just recently... after he went on jw sites.

( he feels he has to have answers to all of it..).

KissAFish

Here goes...I left the JWs, nearly 10 years ago..I was 16 when my hand was helped along by firstly getting kicked out my Parents home, (My Dad had been an elder but was stood down for various family issues..me being one...and my Mum was a ferocious terrier of a doorknocker..) Anyway, I as a child was conditioned to please...as all JWs are, and thought Id give it another go, so went to live with my sister and her family ( JWs too)... Lasted a year before I got into"worldly hands", and My sister kicked me out... So, I went to share with my Brother ( at least he wasnt a JW now, my parents threw him out too)..and got to hear from my dad that Mum was dying of cancer, she was terminal...My brother and i grappled with feelings as we still wanted to see our parents and yet constantly had this cloud of ..you not being a JW are killing your Mother..and My Mum would beg us to come back to the "truth" so we would "live forever", this was my only ever hesitation in leaving the "organization"..and the emotional blackmail that was laid on was enormous....I managed to sit with my Mum during all of her chemo treatments( something my 2 JW sisters NEVER did) and she would constantly beg me to come back..I held my ground though it hurt to see she truly thought I was evil and would die at Armageddon..My brother bore and still does the worst of this guilt..I managed to hold my ground even after my mum died an excruciatingly painful death and my Dad publicly disowned my brother and I...I went to counselling and was told how well i had coped... so i went on to study and meet a great guy..marry him..A CATHOLIC!!! (WG)...But, listening to my Brother, just recently... after he went on JW sites.( he feels he has to have answers to all of it..). 1975 theory etc.... I thought Id take a closer look..When I read these sites it almosts seems as if my JW days are surreal..as it does feel so foreign but at the same time so familiar..I left in 1993,and have obviously missed so much as I was only ever a child in the Org...so it is a strange feeling to come on here and see such strong reactions and to see how differently everyone has come out and gotten on with life..I feel extremely wet behind the ears..but when I saw YK's arrogance and readiness to dismiss all logical queries..( I couldn't come up with any though..) I felt like ripping his JW smut to pieces... It sort of made me realise that although some may not be aware of how the whole "JW" thing can affect them, like me...it still does..........One thing I do know that bugs me, and I have never found out so I have to ask.. is...I just drifted away.. wouldnt go to the "meetings" elders set up..so what tecnically am I...? I never really gave it thought at the time.. I just up and left and have had no contact with anyone JW...My sisters though do have limited contact with us..But I limit from my side too, as I know they never fully except me or my children due to their Organization's policies...so , considering it is 2:21am..I have no real idea what point I am trying to make..LOL .I have no qualms about having left..no doubts just wondering If I went away too easy...should have disassociated..But I was never passionate about being a JW..Maybe that is why I dont feel the same need as my brother to prove it wrong etc.. oooh well hope this has made some sense...(???)

Oooh and does anyone here have a Mac with MAC OS X..and are able to get into live chat, I cant get in..just wondering if there is an incompatibility ..(??) i have a blank page once logged in...(???)

Cheers...

"7/5th of all people do not understand fractions."