Posts by AlmightyDog

43

I am being DF as an 'Apostate' - I HAVE NO REGRETS

by punkofnice in

jw
friends

yes, folks!

you heard me correctly.. of course i'm not going to any jc or discussing the matter as i do not recognize jdub authority.. it'll be nice to get my release papers.

apparently an 'anonymous caller' dobbed me in.. how childish!

AlmightyDog

Punk - Congratulations. We are all so happified to see you reaching out for the office of overseer DF'd apostate.

Best of Luck to you.

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65

I walked out of an Elder's Meeting

by AlmightyDog in

well here goes... i apologize in advance if this turns into a long and disjointed rant, but i just have to begin typing in order to keep from exploding.

i realize that what im about to say could seriously jeopardize my anonymity, but i think ive reached the point that i just dont care.

i want this to be over.. let me explain what caused me to rip up a letter and get up and walk out in the middle of an elders meeting two weekends ago.. our boe has been embroiled in a nasty fight for the past 2 years over a certain brothers business dealings.

AlmightyDog

Wow, I'm really honored that so many of you have taken the time to read my story and respond. There are so many great replies here that I can't respond to each of you individually in the short time I have free before my wife comes home.

Thank you all for sharing your similar experiences and good advice. The more experiences I read, the more I realize that I am not alone, so many have trod this path before me.

As to the advice to take advantage of the situation and fade, I would if I could. Unfortunately in January of this year I confessed some of my doubts to my wife and she immediately called her parents to come over to "snatch me out of the fire". As I mentioned earlier, my FIL is also an elder on the same body. They believe they have succeeded in bringing me back, but are keeping a hyper-vigilant eye on my "spirituality". A fade is impossible with my current situation, and I just don't think I can continue living a lie. My wife told me back then that she doesn't care if the organization is right or not, she's content to stay and wait on Jehovah because of how much better her mother's life has turned out. She will choose Jehovah over me. I don't want to end an otherwise happy marriage, but conditional love is no love at all. At this point I think I may have a better chance with my children by showing them they don't have to believe in anything just because someone told them they should. I want to be a good father to them and give them the freedom to think for themselves.

1pnt - Thank you for your concern and for reminding me that the "end is near". I hope you realize that if you are in fact right and this is Jehovah's Org, that old Teddy Jaracz (sp) is looking down on you now as you post on an apostate forum and he's gonna send Jesus to kill your disobedient ass along with all the rest of us. Just something to think about.

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65

I walked out of an Elder's Meeting

by AlmightyDog in

well here goes... i apologize in advance if this turns into a long and disjointed rant, but i just have to begin typing in order to keep from exploding.

i realize that what im about to say could seriously jeopardize my anonymity, but i think ive reached the point that i just dont care.

i want this to be over.. let me explain what caused me to rip up a letter and get up and walk out in the middle of an elders meeting two weekends ago.. our boe has been embroiled in a nasty fight for the past 2 years over a certain brothers business dealings.

AlmightyDog

Well here goes… I apologize in advance if this turns into a long and disjointed rant, but I just have to begin typing in order to keep from exploding. I realize that what I’m about to say could seriously jeopardize my anonymity, but I think I’ve reached the point that I just don’t care. I want this to be over.

Let me explain what caused me to rip up a letter and get up and walk out in the middle of an elder’s meeting two weekends ago.

Our BOE has been embroiled in a nasty fight for the past 2 years over a certain brother’s business dealings. His business was featured on the local news as a scam for non-payment of contract workers, and many of these workers were sisters from nearby congregations, so it garnered some amount of notoriety. He was an elder and had many friends on the BOE, so now it is split between those who investigated the matter and know it’s a fraud and those who side with their friend. His FIL is also on the body. The branch was dragged in by the CO, and they immediately instructed the matter to be dropped and not looked into any further (afraid of getting sued, methinks). He was removed due to the notoriety, but insists he did nothing wrong. He is very prideful and is not content to have the matter dropped; he wants the elders who looked into the matter (trying to keep the congo clean) removed.

I was appointed as an elder a little over a year ago, almost a year into this mess, at age 30. Because of this issue, I have never been to a civil elder’s meeting. The division is deep and causes the brothers to speak to each other with contempt. This has caused me to see that the BOE is NOT directed by Holy Spirit, and that realization caused me to give myself permission to begin researching more about the org. So, over the last 6 months or so, I have become convinced that this is not God’s org., and I want out, but it’s extremely difficult due to family in (I posted more of my family story a couple of months ago).

So, with all of this going on, we have an elder’s meeting two Saturday’s ago in preparation for the CO’s visit in June. Things start out as usual, with scriptures read that we remain peaceable and in unity, though everyone knows that won’t happen. About 10 minutes into it, one of the brothers begins handing out letters addressed to each elder that were left on his doorstep that morning. The COBE asked for the letter to be read aloud, but since I am a fast reader, I read to the end long before the reading was done. Basically this brother is claiming that though the matter has been “officially” dropped, the brothers who were out to get him are shunning his family and still looking for ways to harass him. I personally know this not to be true, since my FIL is one of these brothers and the COBE is a kindly older man who just wants this to go away, but this brother won’t be satisfied until he gets his revenge. Anyhow, I knew what kind of shit storm this was going to stir up, so as the letter was read, I quietly packed my things, and when it was finished, I ripped the letter to pieces and walked out the door. I know that I will never attend another elder’s meeting.

I left partly because of the hypocrisy and fighting amongst the local BOE, but more because I just know this is not God’s Org. The funny thing is that the other elders think I was taking a stand for righteousness and many have since told me they wish they could have done what I did. They all feel sorry for me because of being thrown into this situation as a young elder and not having even been involved when it all began. They are all trying to give encouragement to continue serving, but I plan on turning in my KS10 on Sunday.

I know the CO will want to discuss this with me during his visit, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my feelings to myself, nor am I sure I even want to. I know that expressing my true feelings would get me DF’d and with that I stand to lose my family, but I just can’t continue on the way things are. I am even considering beating them to the punch and DA’ing. I have so much respect for those of you who have already ripped of the band-aid. Thank you all for your encouragement and examples.

And thank you for all who have taken the time to read my venting.

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26

Who Do You Know Holds The World Record For The Most DFings?

by Was New Boy in

jw
friends

who holds the world record for the most disfellowshipings [ an reinstatments] in a single life time?.

i knew of one poor person charleen moss (roy baty's sister) who did it seven times.

she was a classic damed if i do, damed if i don't.

AlmightyDog

I think "Andre" holds all record related to the WTB&TS.

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35

I committed un-suicide yesterday

by AlmightyDog in

yesterday i opened my wallet and took a long look at the (no) blood card prominently displayed inside.

i have been convinced that this is not the truth for a couple of years now, and am trying to figure out whether to fade or da.

it hit me hard yesterday that with this piece of paper in my wallet, i could possibly end up dying for beliefs i no longer hold.

AlmightyDog

R&R - If you don't report field service time Jehovah's doesn't recognize you anyway, so it's not important for you to obey "God's Command" to abstain from blood. Don't you know your publisher record cards make up the Book of Life?

In all seriousness though, congrats on nearing completion of a successful fade.

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35

I committed un-suicide yesterday

by AlmightyDog in

yesterday i opened my wallet and took a long look at the (no) blood card prominently displayed inside.

i have been convinced that this is not the truth for a couple of years now, and am trying to figure out whether to fade or da.

it hit me hard yesterday that with this piece of paper in my wallet, i could possibly end up dying for beliefs i no longer hold.

AlmightyDog

Thanks all for the positive comments. Yes, it was a very liberating experience.

FF said

"Getting rid of my blood card was one of the first things I did when I left the JWs."

My point is that even those who have not yet left the JW's need to destroy the No Blood Card. It's easy to get rid of if you have cut your ties, but many here are faders or active members of the "conscious class" who have reasons why they are still in. Those may not find it so easy, or even have thought it necessary to get rid of the card. They may not be ready make a stand for what they now believe, but this is something that can be done relatively privately, and it could potentially save a life.

35

I committed un-suicide yesterday

by AlmightyDog in

yesterday i opened my wallet and took a long look at the (no) blood card prominently displayed inside.

i have been convinced that this is not the truth for a couple of years now, and am trying to figure out whether to fade or da.

it hit me hard yesterday that with this piece of paper in my wallet, i could possibly end up dying for beliefs i no longer hold.

AlmightyDog

Yesterday I opened my wallet and took a long look at the (No) Blood Card prominently displayed inside. I have been convinced that this is not the truth for a couple of years now, and am trying to figure out whether to fade or DA. It hit me hard yesterday that with this piece of paper in my wallet, I could possibly end up dying for beliefs I no longer hold. So, I committed un-suicide by walking to the office shredder and watching the DPA card be cross-cut into ribbons.

I must encourage all faders and lurkers out there; If you don't whole-heartedly believe the blood doctrine, you have to get rid of the Blood Card. If you are involved in some tragic accident and are unconscious, doctors will have no choice but to follow your written wishes. Don't risk it.

Please, commit un-suicide with me.

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"Blinkie" the CO from Georgia

by AlmightyDog in

jw
friends

botzwana posted the other day about "blinkie" the co from georgia who blinked alot.

any chance you remember the name?

i believe he is in one of my neighboring congregations.

AlmightyDog

Botzwana posted the other day about "Blinkie" the CO from Georgia who blinked alot. Any chance you remember the name? I believe he is in one of my neighboring congregations. Cormindi is the last name.

Sorry about the blank post with a partial name. I fat-fingered that.

44

A Lurker taking a step out of the shadows

by AlmightyDog in

jw
friends

i have been lurking on this site and others for a couple of years now, and i feel it is time to step out and say "hello!

" when i first began investigating my beliefs, it was innocent enough.

i had been reading an article on scientology, thinking; "wow, these people are just plain nuts!!!

AlmightyDog

Thank you all for the kind welcome and advice. I wish I had time to respond to each of you individually, but I cannot as I am at work. The reason I feel stupid at times is that I have read all of this advice before when given to others. I know I must take it slow and try to introduce new thoughts subtly. However, once we begin a discussion I have a hard time holding back the things I have learned, especially when she refuses to acknowledge facts. I feel the same kind of zeal that is always talked about at the KH, only now it is zeal for the real truth.

She told me the other day that doctrine does not matter at all to her. She does not care to think deeply about those things. She just knows this is the truth because we don't celebrate pagan holidays, participate in wars, and lead clean moral lives, etc. She looks at her biological father, who was really a lousy drunk, and thinks that all worldy people are just like him. Her mom was "rescued" by Jehovah and his organization. Her life has turned out so much better because of the truth, so there is no way it can be wrong. I'm not sure how to make a convincing argument to someone who does not care about the facts. This is entirely an emotional commitment for my wife. I know that I may never free her, but I fear for my children.

I will be reading Hassan's books and COC soon. Hopefully I'll find some more answers there.

44

A Lurker taking a step out of the shadows

by AlmightyDog in

jw
friends

i have been lurking on this site and others for a couple of years now, and i feel it is time to step out and say "hello!

" when i first began investigating my beliefs, it was innocent enough.

i had been reading an article on scientology, thinking; "wow, these people are just plain nuts!!!

AlmightyDog

I have been lurking on this site and others for a couple of years now, and I feel it is time to step out and say "Hello!" When I first began investigating my beliefs, it was innocent enough. I had been reading an article on Scientology, thinking; "Wow, these people are just plain nuts!!!" but then thought "Hey, wait a minute...this sure does sound familiar. Am I this crazy?" It was the incredible amount of information control that really got to me, and I figured if there is nothing to hide, an investigation can't hurt. I spent hours reading posts on this site, JW Facts, and even Six Screens. (Six Screens was quite "evil apostate" looking, I'm glad it has been toned down a little) I was serving as an MS at the time and knew I was on track to become an elder soon. I shared with my wife that I was having some doubts about the organization, and it absolutely crushed her. I did not want my marriage to end, so I did my best to forget what I had learned and focus on 'making the "Truth" my own." It was amazing how quickly she forgot that anything was ever wrong so long as I appeared to be faithful. I was appointed an Elder within a couple of months of that happening, which was the surest sign for me that appointments are NOT made by Holy Spirit.

I have never felt quite the same since this journey began. Once you've seen the man behind the curtain, it's just impossible to believe in the Wizard any longer. A few weeks ago I confessed to my wife that the doubts have not gone away, and tried to share several of my concerns, such as the UN/NGO affiliation, unbiblical stance on blood, flip-flopped new light, and you know the rest. This time it really scared her, so she and her parents arranged an intervention to "snatch me out of the fire". (BTW, my in-laws are in the same congregation and my FIL is on the elder body with me) I love and respect my wife and her family, and I did not want to come off as an argumentative apostate, but they just refuse to listen to reason. So I listened respectfully to their concerns and counsel and told them I would consider matters deeply and prayerfully. Since then they have been very active in ecouraging us to go in FS with them and have been coming over for a family WT study every week. I have kept my mouth shut since the intervention, and again, everyone's happy so long as we are keeping up appearances of the perfect JW family. I feel so stupid because it seems I have driven my wife deeper into the brainwashing. So now I'm faced with the most difficult decision of my life. I could continue on like this indefinitely just hoping that something wakes my wife up. That would at least keep the family together and relatively happy. However, I have 2 small children, and nothing scares me more than knowing that I could allow them to be placed in the same situation I am in now. I want them to be free and happy. It's so hard though, because I feel I have nothing to offer in exchange for the witness delusion. The WT has my wife, both sets of loving grandparents, and the promise of everlasting life with pet Lions. "Poor Daddy has been tricked by Satan, but if we stay faithful, maybe someday he'll come back." HOW DO I COMPETE WITH THAT?????

Thank you all for taking the time to read my ramblings. I wanted to type the perfect introduction, well thought out and organized, but I finally have reached the point where I just have to get things off my chest and put it out there. I hope to be able to share more in the near future.

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